


Like the Movies but Uglier

by deadoralive0013



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Falling In Love, Love Triangles, M/M, Pining Eren Yeager, Rich Eren Yeager, Roommates, Sexual Confusion, Sexual Tension, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:34:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 52,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23463271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadoralive0013/pseuds/deadoralive0013
Summary: Eren and Armin are starting college. Everything is good. The campus is nice. The people are new. The classes are fun. The booze and sex are real. But when Eren finally meets his dorm roommate, he realizes that things might get a tad too exciting for him.Excerpt:“There’s an elevator?” Eren said in disbelief. They could have gone on it with Armin’s stuff.Jean, already not the most likeable person in the world, had the audacity to laugh. “Yeah, it’s near the J’s room.”“That’s perfect!” Armin exclaimed. “Eren, your room is 4J isn’t it? You’ll barely need to walk!”Eren smiled but then Jean just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “Wait, you’ll be rooming in 4J?”“Yeah, what about it?” Eren challenged.Jean sniggered. “Nothing.”It was obviously something.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager, Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 214
Kudos: 324





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first SNK fic so please be nice. The quarantine period had kept me out of my day job and gave me a lot of idle time so here it is. This is unbeta-ed so all mistakes are mine.

1

Eren thought that those crappy teen movies were exaggerating when they portrayed going to college as some sort of an exciting experience that marked the start of going to drinking parties, having sex, and just doing anything you wanted. None of those appealed to him to be honest. Sure, he drank sometimes, get laid occasionally, and generally enjoyed doing things his way. But the thing was that all those were never really missing in his younger years. Still, as he stood in front of Rose Hall, a four-floor stone building that housed some of the male students like him, he couldn’t help but feel a surge of excitement and euphoria.

“Fresh start,” Armin said happily as he joined to stand beside him.

He nodded, smiling as they took in the sight in front of them. His friend hit the nail right on the head again, as he always tended to do. Going to college, moving into the dorms, those meant he could leave the boring old life he had in the suburbs and see more new things. 

“Help me with your luggage, boys,” Grisha called back from the car and they both ran to him. “Seriously, I know you’re having a moment but the driveway is blocked up. I’ve got to move the car soon.”

“Right,” Eren muttered as he and Armin helped him unload the trunk. Eren had a rolling luggage, a back pack, and a box. The rest of his things will be arriving with Armin’s next week but most of what he needed were already there. 

“Okay, that’s everything,” his dad announced. “I have to get back to the hospital for the afternoon hours. Unless you boys want me to go with you so I can—a”

“Nope. You’re going,” he cut him off and Grisha laughed, already expecting that sort of answer.

“Thank you so much for driving us, Mr. Jeager,” Armin said with a wide smile, the big box in his arms looking as if it weighed nothing. “Have a safe trip back.”

“It’s no problem,” Grisha replied. “I’ll drop by your place later to tell your grandad that everything is fine with you guys but be sure to call him as well, alright?”

“Sure thing, sir,” Armin said.

Grisha nodded with a smile. Eren knew he liked Armin, his childhood friend was smart and was usually the voice of reason whenever Eren wanted to do stupid things which generally kept him out of trouble for years. If he could adopt him, he’d do it and Eren wouldn’t mind. 

“And Eren, remember to always check your schedule of classes. Mikasa won’t be here to remind you. And try to keep your head down, okay?”

“I’m not going to get myself kicked out on the first week, dad. That’s physically impossible even for me,” Eren told him and he chuckled. “I promise I’ll attend my classes and won’t do drugs. How’s that?”

“Low standard for a start but you can work on it,” he said. “I’ll take it.”

Armin laughed and then they said their goodbyes. Seemingly satisfied with getting the boys and their things to the dorm safely, Grisha went back to his Benz and drove off. The freshmen picked up their things and walked to the building, joining the throngs of other freshmen who were just moving in like them. 

As they made our way in, dodging elbows and squeezing through the crowd, Eren couldn’t help the smile from making its way on his face. Just the fact that no one in this building knew him except from Armin made him almost giddy. Growing up, he wasn’t the friendliest or the most socially graceful. He had some sort of anger management issues as a kid and though he quickly outgrew it, it was enough for almost everyone in their small town to label him as the angry kid. It wasn’t so bad but it gave Eren some problems with getting along with other people especially when he thought that they’re being a smartass about it. It didn’t help that his father was the doctor of almost everyone in town and liked by everyone, both rich and poor which meant they lived a pretty comfortable life. The other kids made fun of that too, calling him the rich angry bastard.

“I’m at the second floor. Room… 2D,” Armin said as they climbed the crowded staircase.

“Lucky,” he huffed, “I’m at the top floor. My back might be broken before I reach 4J.”

Eren thought that it would have been nice if he had Armin as his roommate but he don’t really mind. His friend may be nice but he was tidy and Eren can be a slob sometimes. That might put a dent on their friendship if they had to share a room.

“I’ll help you with your stuff once I get mine into my room,” Armin told him and he nodded. 

They quickly found Armin’s door and when they opened it, a guy with two-toned hair was lying on one of the beds. He got up and awkwardly stood at the side as they carried Armin’s things in. 

“Hi!” Armin greeted him brightly, a light sheen of sweat covering his forehead. “I’m Armin and I think you are my new roommate?”

“Jean, yeah, hi,” the new guy replied before shaking Armin’s hand. 

“This is my friend, Eren. He’s on the fourth floor,” Armin said.

Instead of shaking the guy’s hand, Eren gave him a slight nod which might have put him off a little but Eren ignored it. But then he remembered that he was supposed to keep his head down so he added, “Nice room.”

Jean shrugged in response. 

“I’ll just be helping Eren out with his things since his room is on the fourth floor,” Armin told him.

His roommate looked at Eren’s stuff. “That doesn’t look much. It’ll be easy on the elevator,” he told them.

“There’s an elevator?” Eren said in disbelief. They could have gone on it with Armin’s stuff.

Jean, already not most likeable person in the world, had the audacity to laugh. “Yeah, it’s near the J’s room.”

“That’s perfect!” Armin exclaimed. “Eren, your room is 4J isn’t it? You’ll barely need to walk!”

Eren smiled but then Jean just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “Wait, you’ll be rooming in 4J?”

“Yeah, what about it?” Eren challenged. 

Jean sniggered. “Nothing.”

It was obviously something. 

“Why don’t you check out your room, Eren? We can start to unpack and then we can meet later for lunch?” Armin cut in, feeling the tension building between the other two.

“I’ll message you when I’m done,” Eren said before glaring at Jean’s horse face one last time.

The elevator was just around the corner. It was easy to spot but there were no signs pointing to it at all. Grudgingly, he and Armin wouldn’t have known about it until later without Jean telling them but he didn’t want to give the guy any credit. As he boarded the slightly crowded elevator up, he wondered what the horse face finding so amusing. The first thing that came to mind was that his room was haunted.

Being on the top floor, the fourth floor the least busy of all. He dragged his things with him, immediately finding 5J with just a couple of steps. It was quiet, and significantly cleaner than the other floors. Eren searched for the key in his hoodie pocket and then another thought came. What if his roommate was some sort of creep? Like a disgusting, overweight guy who had never seen sunlight in years nor the walls of a shower stall in weeks. Hurriedly, he opened the door.

Everything was so clean.

Eren released the breath he hadn’t realize he was holding and took in the neat bed beside the large window that was opposite the door, with dark blue blankets and pristine white pillows. His own bed, a standard double, was bare except for a mattress and it was pushed against the wall opposite the window so that the two beds were parallel to each other. A giant bookcase was at the wall near the door, filled with neat rows of books, storage boxes, and some personal things like a comb, some chargers, and notebooks.

He quickly pulled his things into the room and closed the door behind before dumping his box on his bed and sitting beside it. He sighed, watching the leaves of the tall oak tree sway outside and then noticing that there were small potted plants by the window. Interesting. Eren then stood to check out the bathroom and it was so clean, he could probably lick the floor. He guessed his roommate, whoever he was, was not a dirty, internet creep afterall. He wasn’t in the room afterall so that must mean he at least went out. 

Deciding to organize his own things before his apparently neat roommate came, Eren stood and began opening his box.

  
\------------------------------------------------------

  
The university cafeteria was the nearest place they could go to get a bite. Armin thought it was a good opportunity to explore what they had since they would likely be coming over frequently so he and Eren went there for lunch. It was crowded since a lot of people came in today with their parents but there was quite a few tables available since the place was big. 

Eren found that most of the items were expensive, since it’s the closest place students can go but there some reasonably priced items as well. He and Armin went for the more expensive ones to celebrate their moving in day and as much as he got teased for it, Eren really was a son of loaded parents so he didn’t really have a problem with it. He got a pasta and a sandwich with a milkshake while Armin settled for clubhouse sandwich with fries and ice cream.

“Have you finished unpacking?” Eren asked as they ate though what he really wanted to ask was if Jean was really a Jerk he thought he was.

“Yep, it was surprisingly easy,” Armin replied. “Jean helped me.”

“Really?”

The disbelief was evident in his voice apparently and Armin laughed at him. “Hey, I know you both got off on the wrong foot, but I think he’s really nice once you spend more time with him,” he said.

Eren snorted. “I don’t know. Maybe. I think I would prefer to see as little of him as possible. As long as he’s being nice to you.”

“He is,” Armin assured him. “How about you? How is your roommate?”

Eren shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t met him yet but I don’t think he’s going to be that bad, you know. The room was so clean, and organized so that means we won’t be swimming in trash by next week,” he said as he stole a fry from his friend’s plate.

“I guess, but that means you’ll have to be clean as well right?” 

“I already started. My room here is an Ikea catalog picture compared to my bedroom at home.”

“That’s good,” Armin said. “I hope your roommate would be nice too.”

“I have a feeling that he will be,” Eren found himself saying. 

“How come?”

That was a good question. Eren couldn’t really tell but his gut feelings tended to be correct and it was telling him now that he and his roommate were going to be close. “I don’t know, I just feel like it,” he decided to say.

“You’re not just saying that because I said Jean is nice, are you?”

“Of course not,” he said with a small laugh. “How can I explain it… It really is just a feeling. And the guy has plants. And art materials. I think he’s going to be one of those creative, liberal arts guys who are peace loving and don’t eat meat.”

“That’s very stereotypic”

Eren just laughed. They enjoyed the rest of dinner talking about their class schedules and discussing the freshman information packet which Eren did not bother to read. Armin gladly went through the contents about it before deciding to turn in early as they both would be attending a freshman orientation early in the morning.

  
\----------------------------------

  
It was only around eight in the evening when Eren and Armin reached Rose Hall. They briefly fathomed why a boys’ dormitory building would be named that way before separating at the lobby, Armin taking the stairs since he was just on the second floor. When Eren got off the elevator, he immediately saw the light under the door to his room. He opened it slowly and was about to step in when somebody yelled.

“You! Don’t you dare set that dirty shoe on the floor!”

Eren froze in the doorway, his foot awkwardly hanging in midair. A guy with short straight hair, gray sweater and black pants was now seated on one of the study tables and his stormy gray eyes were piercing through Eren’s skull like laser.

“I’m… sorry?” 

“Tch, there’s a shoe rack beside the doormat. Didn’t you see?” the other said pointing beside Eren and indeed, a three-layer steel rack was there. “Take off your goddam filthy shoes and use one of the indoor slippers.”

Eren was too stunned to protest. He stiffly stooped down to remove his shoes and did as his roommate commanded. The indoor slippers felt fluffy and comfortable as he slipped them on, in the same light shade of gray as the other guy was wearing. He carefully closed the door behind him and asked almost timidly, “Can I come in now?”

Instead of answering, his roommate just gave the slightest bit of a nod and a grunt. Eren then stepped into the room unsure of what to do.

“Please tell me you didn’t walk around here with your shoes on this morning,” the other guy said in a tone that was both threatening and already decided.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that it’s the rule here. It wasn’t on the freshman handbook.”

The other man rolled his eyes. “Of course it’s not, you idiot. It’s the rule of this room,” he informed him.

Now that the shock was wearing off, Eren’s nerves were slowly becoming irritation. “That’s not fair. I mean, this is my room too. I think we kind of have to decide the rules together so we can agree on what we both…”

His voice slowly faltered however when his roommate suddenly stood and started walking towards him. Granted that the guy was a few inches shorter than him, his intimidating aura automatically sucked up his courage and he unconsciously stepped back. His roommate didn’t stop in front of him, stepping closer and closer until Eren felt the back of his leg hit his bed.

“I dare you to say that again, you fucking brat,” the other said in a low, even voice.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” Eren automatically muttered, averting his eyes from the smaller man. He sounded like he was whimpering but Eren felt no shame, only a sudden urge to preserve his life. 

“Let me make things clear for you, newbie brat,” he said when they were less than a foot away. “I told the student relations office that I don’t want a roommate but I guess unless I could pay for the whole room, I’m stuck with you. Since that’s the case, I have three rules that you will follow.”

Eren nodded so vigorously that he felt his brain was being shaken.

“First, this place is to be absolutely clean. Spotless. That means the floor, beds, shelves, tables, bathroom, and air. You wear indoor slippers inside all the fucking time, no exceptions. If I get as much as a speck of dust on my things, I’ll end you.”

Eren whimpered as he nodded.

“Second, do not touch any of my stuff. If something goes missing, I’ll end you.”

“Y-Yes… sir,” he answered reflexively, adding the sir in a last minute decision and ending up saying it in a whisper. 

“And last, you don’t bring any of your girlfriends here to fuck. If you want to do something disgusting, do it outside these walls. Understood?”

Eren nodded enthusiastically, finding that his voice had stopped working.

“Are you mute?”

“N-No! I mean, yes, u-understood!”

His roommate stared at him for a long time, holding him in a squirming freeze. After what felt like eternity, the smaller man gave a very subtle hint of a smirk before stepping back and going back to his study table. Eren let out his breath and finally collapsed on his own bed.

“What’s your name, brat?”

Eren looked up from his lap, still feeling a little bit shaky. “E-Eren. Eren Jeager.”

“I’m Levi,” his roommate said before turning back to the pages of the open book on his table. “Now go clean the floor since you sullied it this morning. And take a fucking bath. You stink.”

  
\---------------------------------------------------

  
When Eren woke up the next morning, Levi was already putting on a jacket. Eren didn’t move, silently watching his roommate while pretending to still be asleep. The other was dressed quite nicely, white button down tucked in a pair of black pants. Levi slipped his brown messenger bag on his shoulder before trading his slippers for a pair of dark sneakers. 

Last night, Levi ignored Eren after telling him about the rules. Eren was too scared to start a conversation so he simply went about the business of cleaning the floor that he believed was already perfectly clean before washing up. He didn’t think he stunk, nobody had ever told him he smelled bad, but somehow, coming from this guy, it made him feel insecure so he took his time in the shower. When he was done, Levi was still on his table, this time typing something on his laptop with earphones on. Eren sighed, reading that as a clear social sign of not wanting to interact. Apart from pointing to Eren where he could find the cleaning supplies, Levi pretended that he didn’t exist. As there wasn’t really any work for him yet, Eren decided to scroll through his phone until he fell asleep. He turned off the light, leaving only Levi’s table lamp on and his last thoughts were how the shorter man was definitely ahead of his year.

“Don’t forget to wipe the mirror after you brush your teeth,” Levi suddenly said from in front of the shoe rack and in surprise, Eren’s eyes widened, forgetting that he was pretending to be asleep. They stared at each other for a moment before Eren nodded and Levi rolled his eyes before leaving without another word. Eren groaned, feeling somehow like he did something stupid before deciding to push away any thoughts about the little tyrant and getting ready for his first day. He also made sure to wipe the mirror after brushing his teeth, making sure to leave everything spotless before leaving.

Orientation, Eren felt, was unnecessarily long. It took them an hour and thirty minutes to talk about stuff that was already in the student handbook. The only thing that were of use was when they introduced some personnel who handled freshmen concerns. Armin still listened though and even took notes while Eren’s brain started to drift off after the first ten minutes.

“Hey, Eren, did you remember to call your mom last night?” Armin asked in a low voice beside him.

“Hnm?” he jolted in his seat. He was starting to doze off. “Shit! I forgot.”

Armin shook his head disapprovingly as Eren frantically started to send his mother a quick text on the spot. 

“How can you forget? We literally did nothing yesterday. It was still very early when we went back after dinner,” Armin nagged.

Eren pressed ‘send’ and quickly hid his phone in his hoodie. “Well, I was preoccupied. Meeting my roommate made me prioritize my safety above everything else. And I was cleaning the floor.”  
Armin gave him a look that clearly meant that he needed details.

“His name is Levi, and remember when horse face—”

“Horse face?”

“Your roommate, Jean,” Eren said ignoring Armin’s snort, “Anyway. Remember when he sort of laughed when he heard where I’ll be rooming? I think the bastard knew who was there and what I was in for.”

“Why? Is Levi some sort of big guy? Did he do anything to you?” Armin asked worriedly.

Eren shook his head. “Quite the opposite actually. He’s short, shorter than you actually but he’s got this really scary aura about him you know? Like he had never laughed in his life and that he might murder me if I did anything wrong. And he’s some sort of a clean freak. Got his panties in a bunch when he found out I walked in the room with my shoes on.”

“Seriously?” Armin said. “He sounds like a character. Or maybe he’s sick? Like he has an immune system problem which will explain why has to keep everything clean?”

“Sick in the head, maybe,” Eren said half-jokingly. “Your faith in humanity might get you killed someday, Armin. Think about it, wouldn’t he be kept from attending college here if he’s that sick?” 

Armin shrugged then silently watched the speaker on stage though Eren knew he wasn’t listening to the man anymore. “So maybe he’s a bit antisocial or weird. I mean… he can’t be that bad.”

“He is so clean, Armin!” Eren said as if that explained everything. 

“So I’ve heard.”

“And he gave me all these weird rules that I have to follow like, it’s my room too right?” Eren said emphatically and a few students sitting in front of them glanced back to stare at him. He mouthed ‘sorry’ to them and then lowered his voice as he continued, “I should have a say in the rules too. I don’t care if he was there first, we both own that place now.”

Armin nodded in agreement. “That does sound unreasonable of him. Maybe you can talk to him about it again later. What are his rules anyway?” When Eren told him, Armin was quiet again. “The indoor slipper rule is reasonable actually although he should have asked you if you’re okay with it instead of demanding that you just suddenly follow. I don’t know, all his rules seem pretty standard roommate etiquette, don’t you think? Threatening to end you if you don’t follow excluded, of course.”

Now that Armin was talking about it like that, Eren did seem like he overreacted a bit. They were reasonable rules, no demands. Wait… No, Armin wasn’t there. He wouldn’t understand because he hadn’t been subjected to Levi’s laser eyes and intimidating aura. “It’s hard to explain. He’s… difficult to deal with.”

“He sounds like he’s a bit scary but maybe you just caught him at a bad time,” Armin, ever the optimist, said.

“Well, he did say he attempted to get the room by himself but couldn’t afford it alone,” Eren relented.

“See? That may be it,” Armin said brightly. “Don’t worry, Eren. I’m sure that once he gets to know you more, he’ll warm up to you.”  
Eren didn’t reply but he nodded.

The campus tour was next. The freshmen were all grouped according to dorm buildings and were led outside. He and Armin joined eleven others from Rose Hall as they waited outside the auditorium. The other groups were met by one upperclassman each who began to lead them away on their own campus tours.

“Everybody, please, may I have your attention,” a tall, blonde student suddenly called. He had neat hair that reminded Eren of his neighbor who worked in the military because of the cut. He was dressed in a plain red polo shirt and dark pants, and if it wasn’t for the ID clipped on his shirt pocket that said ‘student volunteer,’ he would have thought the guy was a professor. “My name is Erwin and I will be touring you guys around the campus today. I’m a third year here and I also stay at Rose Hall.”

Eren heard a couple of girls from the side giggling and sure enough, they were looking at Erwin. Eren snorted as Erwin gave them a polite smile before leading their group away. 

“Someone’s popular,” Armin commented softly, giving Eren a meaningful smile.

The campus was big but Erwin was efficient and had given them a comprehensive tour with a lot of useful information in just thirty minutes. As if the man could be any more perfect, he led them back to Rose Hall and handed them refreshments before telling everyone to rest up and that they’re free to do as they pleased.

Armin decided that he was going to call his grandfather and rest for a bit before meeting Eren for lunch so Eren headed back to his room. Levi was still out when came but Eren automatically left his shoes at the rack before putting on the indoor slippers. As he did, he wondered why Levi had a spare pair in the first place. He couldn’t have just been keeping it in case he got a roommate right?

He plopped down on his bed and took out his schedule. He will be having a couple of classes later in the afternoon. That was should be easy general education subjects. He and Armin could check out some clubs since his class the following day would be later in the morning. Just as Eren was about to fall asleep, the door suddenly opened and in came Levi. Just as they had this morning, they stared at each other before Levi dismissed him and started to change his shoes. Eren saw him look at the shoe rack and then at the slippers on Eren’s hanging feet. He thought for a moment that Levi looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it.

Though Levi said nothing, Eren felt the other’s approval at him following the rules. He watched Levi rummage through his closet before stuffing something inside his bag and taking out some of his books. Eren smiled and, remembering Armin’s hopeful thought earlier, he said, “My friend and I are going to lunch later. If you’re free, maybe you can join us? We can treat you if you show us a good place to eat here. You know, as an apology for using my shoes in the room?”

Levi looked at him. He said nothing as he turned his attention back to his bag and continued fixing his stuff for some time that Eren thought he was going to ignore him. “I can’t today,” he said curtly before heading for the door again.

“Oh, that’s too bad,” Eren said sheepishly. “Maybe some other—”

The door opened and closed and then Eren was alone again.

“Time,” he finished.


	2. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren finds himself drawn more to his roommate as he finds out more things about him. An opportunity then arises for Eren to get closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and the comments! Now I think I'm really going to have to continue this. I haven't exercised my writing muscles in a while so I might be rusty but please bear with me. Also, the rating will definitely go up in the future so take that as a warning.
> 
> WARNING (please see end notes re. specific pairing)

2

After a few weeks have passed, Eren had gotten used to his schedule. He liked most of his classes so far, particularly his algebra class and English literature class, but only because the professor was really good. Some of his classes were interesting as well but he wasn’t particularly excelling in them like his beginner’s sketching class which he chose just because he needed one and Armin chose it. When they were asked to sketch a bowl of fruits, Eren’s bananas looked misshapen and the apples ended up to be as big as the pineapple. Still, the professor said it was a good attempt and that trying was half the battle. Eren didn’t believe her but he appreciated her kindness.

Armin was absolutely loving all of his classes and he began to have more friends, unlike him. They still ate meals together most of the time so Eren was introduced to quite a number of people. Armin knew he had some trouble making friends so this must his way of helping him become more social. Because of that, he and Armin had attended a few drinking parties over the past few weeks. He even went on a date a couple of dates with some girls he met at those parties. His social life was definitely stepping up compared to how it was back home.

Everything was progressing except for his relationship, or lack of, with his roommate. After declining Eren’s offer to lunch that one time, he never asked him again in the fear of getting the other’s ire. Levi never initiated conversation with him and when it was Eren who was trying to talk to him, Levi would usually just give him a short response and then completely ignore him afterwards. Levi never went to sleep first and always woke up before Eren. Whenever he and Eren met in the room by chance, Levi would always just get something, leave something else, then take off again without a word. Eren didn’t really mind silence or not being friends with Levi but seeing as they were going to be sharing a living space likely for the next few years, Eren thought it would make things a lot comfortable if they were at least on speaking terms.

“He’s weird. I heard he terrorized his previous roommate into moving out of the room so he can be alone,” Jean, who had become somewhat a regular addition to mealtimes thanks to Armin’s insistence despite Eren’s protests, said one time during lunch.

“Eren said he’s cold and a total neat freak but honestly, if it were me, I won’t be too bothered,” Armin said thoughtfully after he took a sip of his soda. “A clean and quiet room actually sounds kinda nice.”

Jean grimaced when Armin pointedly looked at him. Eren sighed. Of course Armin would think Levi wasn’t too bad. He had never gotten the chance to meet the guy and honestly, if he could stand rooming with horse face, there’s pretty much no one he can’t get along as roommates.

“What other things do you know about him?” Eren asked Jean. “I mean, we’ve been sleeping in the same room for a month but I only know that his name is Levi, he hates dirt, and he barely slept at all. I might start getting nightmares.”

Jean looked like he had a snarky comment for Eren but kept it to himself. He tended to be a lot nicer to him whenever Armin was around. “Not much either,” he said. “He’s a second year like me, keeps mostly to himself… oh! I’ve seen him with that guy, Erwin. I think they’re friends or something.”

Eren was surprised at that.

“Erwin, _the_ Erwin, model student who gave us the campus tour on our orientation?” Armin asked.

“Oh he did that huh?” Jean muttered. “Erwin’s that kind of guy, always involved in helping others and leadership stuff. His dad is a bigshot lawyer, the kind whose brushing shoulders with the elite crowd. Maybe he’s grooming himself to be something like that.”

“Seems like an odd friendship,” Eren commented offhandedly and Armin stared at him. “I mean personality wise. They just seem so different. But maybe Levi’s parents are bigshots too and they’re like tennis buddies growing up?”

“Nahhh,” Jean shook his head. “My friend, Marco, was working at the student relations office before and he told me...”

Both Armin and Eren were looking expectantly at him but he hesitated.

“Keep this a secret okay? It can get Marco in trouble if anybody found out,” he said seriously. The other two nodded and he continued, “Levi is on full scholarship. He’s smart but his tuition is being taken care of by one of the funds in this uni.”

In retrospect, Eren thought that maybe he should have expected that about Levi. The guy worked his ass off every single night. But him being on scholarship, his roommate was usually dressed so nicely that he wouldn’t have guessed so.

The conundrum that was his roommate was so interesting that Eren found himself thinking about it a lot of times throughout the day. His mind would sometimes drift off towards the mystery behind Levi while in lectures too. Yet, despite having so many questions and wanting to know more, Eren had never gotten the chance to even hold a proper exchange of niceties with Levi.

But that soon changed.

Several weeks after Jean shared that gossip, Eren had the misfortune of having his printer broken. He had a very important paper that he needed to turn in that afternoon and luckily, he woke early and had no class in the morning. Eren decided to go out of the campus in search of an establishment where he can have it printed. He found one near a nice quiet café a few blocks from the campus. Deciding that he might as well have an early lunch, Eren entered the café to order food but was surprisingly greeted by none other than his roommate behind the cash register.

“Levi?” Eren muttered in shock, taking in the plain white button down, black slacks, and dark green apron around the man’s small waist. An oval nameplate spelled Levi’s name in clear black letters on a gold background.

“Yes, my name is Levi. Welcome to Zoe Café. What can I get you?” Levi said evenly and Eren could have laughed at the manner by which he said it because he sounded like a tired answering machine but just the idea of his roommate being in any customer service position as a job sounded like a bad joke.

“So you work here?” Eren asked intelligently and Levi gave him a look that oozed condescension.

“Yes, I do.”

No expletives.

“So you know how to make drinks and stuff?”

There was a slight tic at the corner of Levi’s left eye and though his face was schooled into the usual blank affect, his eyes looked like he wanted to punch Eren’s teeth in so bad.

“What. Can. I. Get. You?”

It was unexpectedly very entertaining to see his roommate desperately wanting to end him but was holding himself back. He might regret it later in the dorm when the angry barista would truly have the opportunity to murder him. “Right, ummm… I’ll have an Americano with milk. And an alfredo pasta please.”

Levi punched in his orders and mechanically worked on Eren’s change after Eren handed him a bill. Eren made sure to put a generous amount in the tip jar to which Levi did not comment on. “Please wait for a moment,” he told him instead before he called the pasta order to the kitchen. Eren watched in fascination as Levi started to work on making his drink. He could tell that the other had been doing this for a while, expertly measuring and putting the ingredients into the machine then mixing everything in the cup with precise but gentle motions.

“Here’s your drink,” Levi said, holding the steaming cup out to Eren. “Please take a seat and I’ll be over with your food in a while.”

“Thank you,” Eren said and walked over to a nearby table.

It was surreal to see his roommate making coffee and politely taking other people’s orders. He didn’t smile but he was pleasant and courteous as he spoke to the customers. Being it midway between breakfast and lunch, the place wasn’t that busy. There were only two other people who ordered after Eren and only three other tables were occupied. Eren wagered that the place would be busier on peak hours after taking a sip of his coffee though. It was very good.

Soon, Levi was walking towards him with a dark brown tray. He carefully set the food on the table in front of Eren. “Alfredo pasta,” Levi said and it surprised Eren how the man’s voice could sound so soothing, so different from when he was threatening to end Eren if he broke any of the rules.

“Thank you,” Eren said smiling but Levi merely nodded and walked off. Maybe he won’t be dying tonight.

The food turned out to be good as well. Eren had already decided to come for another visit soon, maybe with Armin, though he didn’t know if Levi would like that. He glanced over at the barista station and saw Levi nodding and speaking to another customer before turning around and started to make another drink. All the while, his movements were swift and almost graceful. Eren found himself staring very hard at one particular moment when Levi briefly tilted his head to the side as if to relieve a crick on his neck and then casually swiping his dark fringe to the side of his face. He didn’t realize it before but his roommate was quite attractive.

Eren jumped a little when his phone suddenly vibrated in his pocket. He found Armin’s message reply to a text he sent earlier this morning when he found out that his printer had died on him.

_I’m so sorry Eren! I had to meet up with some people from my philosophy class for a group project. Are you sure your printer is broken? You can use mine but I think the Jean won’t be back until later afternoon and I’m stuck here until this is finished._

Eren smiled as he typed in his reply.

_It’s fine. I found a place to print my paper. You can try to fix it later after dinner if you want. And you can also help me with my algebra worksheet._

He continued eating while waiting for Armin’s reply. There were no more people on the line now and Levi was just standing behind the register with a bored expression. As if feeling Eren’s eyes on him, his roommate automatically found his gaze. Eren looked away in panic, busying himself with his meal and his phone. It took a couple of minutes before realizing how silly he reacted.

After he finished, he quickly exited the café and headed to the library to get some work done. He wasn’t joking when he told Armin that he wanted help with his algebra work sheets. Though he liked the subject, there quite a number of items and some of them were tricky.

\-------------------------------------------

The printer was an old model but it can print colored images beautifully and even scan and photocopy other documents. It gave that long whining sound as the mechanism inside moved, shifting and rolling its gears endlessly instead of sucking in one of the sheets of paper in the tray to start printing. Armin frowned at the annoying sound as he watched the pitiful thing repeatedly make those meaningful sounds but failing to initiate printing the sample document from Eren’s laptop.

“Are your drivers up to date?” Armin asked as he tried to check the inside of the machine with his phone’s flash light.

“I think so?” Eren said uncertainly. “It was working just fine last week though. I had a ton of printouts too and it managed that alright. I don’t know what’s happening.”

“That’s what printers do. Betray us in time of need,” Armin sighed, looking around the room. As always, Levi was not yet back. The first time he visited, he and Eren were both apprehensive despite Levi not saying that visitors weren’t allowed. He of course wore the indoor slippers and was careful not to touch stuff that weren’t Eren’s. The neatness of the room really left an impression and he now understood what Eren meant. He wanted to meet the infamous Levi too but it seemed like the other was always out late at night on days that Armin visited. Maybe he could help Eren talk to his roommate? He wasn’t sure but he wanted to try. Armin’s gaze landed on the said roommate’s study table and spotted a smaller printer. “Levi’s got a printer over there. Maybe he’ll let you print your stuff there until you can find a replacement.”

“If I touch his things, he will end me, remember?” Eren said.

“With permission, Eren. Of course you’re going to ask him first,” Armin said.

“I don’t know about that,” Eren said as he glared at his own printer and feeling betrayed. “If it doesn’t work by the weekend, I’ll replace it.”

“I can go with you if you want. I just have a lot of readings I need to finish before this Friday. It’s already Wednesday night and I have class the whole day tomorrow.”

“I guess you won’t be able to give me a hand with my worksheets huh?” Eren asked sadly.

“Sorry, Eren but I’m up to my ears with readings,” Armin said looking really apologetic. “Professor Shadis is killing us.”

“No it’s fine,” Eren said. “I have to turn in mine this Friday as well. Good luck to both of us!”

After Armin left, Eren reluctantly took out the accursed worksheets and started to work on where he left off. The thing was thirteen pages long, one hundred thirty items in total. He was at item fifty but that was because he skipped quite a few others that were hard. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and deciding to take out one of the potato chip packs he had from his secret stash. He had been eating while working for what felt like hours when the door suddenly opened and he knew his roommate was back. But he wasn’t alone.

Eren leaned to the side to get a better view of Levi who was still out in the hallway. There was another voice, a man’s and he could hear him and Levi talking in hushed tones.

“Can I see you tomorrow at least?” the voice asked. Eren wasn’t sure but it sounded familiar to him.

“Fuck off. I have stuff to do so get lost already,” he heard Levi say.

There were rustling sounds, some soft thuds and he became worried when he heard Levi let out a muffled whine. Eren stood from his chair and walked to the direction of the door, ready to jump into action in case Levi needed his help but when he got a clear view, he froze. Levi’s back was pressed against the open door by the much bigger body of Erwin whose hands were pinning his roommate by the shoulder and the hand facing Eren. He was just in time to see the blond seal their mouths together in what seemed to be a very deep lip lock. Levi struggled for a moment but the hand holding on to his shoulder suddenly held his face in place by his jaw. Eren’s eyes were apparently in very good condition as he saw the precise moment when Erwin’s tongue peeped through the small gap between their mouths and slipped into Levi’s. The smaller man moaned softly and then the hand that wasn’t pinned to the door came up to grip Erwin by the nape and his body visibly relaxed into the kiss.

Eren quickly ducked out of sight, his heart racing. He could hear the light sucking sounds the pair were making from not too far and they echoed like thunder in the deserted quiet hallways of the fourth floor. Without thinking, Eren quickly and silently made his way into the bathroom, closing the door behind him before letting himself freak out.

“He’s gay,” he muttered softly, the scene of Levi getting thoroughly kissed replaying in his mind over and over, making his face feel hot. His knees felt weak and he sat down the covered toilet seat. “Fuck”

He didn’t know how much time had passed as he sat there, trying and failing to erase the memory of what he just saw while he waited for his nether region to calm down when he heard the door to their dorm room close. Eren pressed his ear against the bathroom door, trying to listen for Erwin’s voice but it seemed like he didn’t come in. He took a few deep breaths and flushed toilet. He then washed his hands needlessly, splashing some cold water on his face for good measure, before finally stepping out of the bathroom, trying to act as normal as possible and bracing himself to greet his roommate as he always did whenever he came in and Eren was already back.

He was surprised though when Levi was the one who greeted him first. “Had a nice shit?” he greeted Eren.

Eren laughed nervously and he winced internally at how fake it sounded to his own ears. “Yeah… I get constipated sometimes,” he said.

Levi didn’t seem to catch it though and just proceeded to hang his messenger bag and jacket. Eren quickly resumed his spot in front of his worksheet and pretended to scribble equations on his scratch paper. It was useless now. He wouldn’t be able to focus for a while. He could hear every little sound that his roommate was making behind him, every little step, the rustle of clothing, and even his little sighs as he went about his night routine.

Eren relaxed in his chair when he heard the bathroom door open and close, followed by the sound of running water. He stared at the unfinished work in front of him before deciding to retreat for the moment. He grabbed his phone and wallet and quickly went out.

\--------------------------------

Eren sat alone at one of the campus benches outside feeling cold and stupid. It was getting late, and he had a lot of school work he needed to finish soon but he knew he wouldn’t be able to concentrate knowing that Levi would be sitting a few feet from him, working on his stuff as well. The kiss was replaying again, mocking him. He could still hear the sounds they made, Levi’s voice, so different from the one he had been using on Eren.

He wasn’t gay. There was a time before when Eren thought Armin was attractive but it was in a way that guys could understand why another guy might be appealing to girls. He never got flustered thinking of Armin or any other guys for that matter. Eren looked at his phone screen, the cursor blinking on the empty message on his text conversation with Armin. He didn’t know what to say. Though his first instinct was to talk to his best friend and seek his advice, he wasn’t even sure he wanted to tell him any of this. Levi’s orientation was not something he should be telling people about, that he was sure. He didn’t feel like he wanted to mull things over in his head more, afraid at what might be the outcome.

After an hour, Eren stepped back into his dorm room, silently wishing that just this once, his roommate went to bed earlier than him. However, Levi was on his desk as predicted, working on some papers. He had four books open and his laptop was sitting on one of them, displaying an open page. Eren hoped that the other would ignore him as he walked back to his bed but it seemed like things were just going to keep weirder and weirder today.

“You’re not a creep, are you?” Levi suddenly asked.

Eren glanced back at his roommate to make sure that the question was directed him. Levi was staring at him, his face looking more impatient by the second because of course, there wasn’t anybody else in the room. Eren internally cursed when his eyes automatically zoomed in on those pinkish lips that had surely been wet just a while ago.

“N-No! Of course not!” he answered. He didn’t mean to shout or avert his eyes from Levi’s gaze but he did, so he went for his chair instead of the bed like he originally planned, and took the opportunity to turn his back on his roommate.

“Yeah, you do look like a nice straight guy,” Levi muttered and then, to Eren’s shock, chukled lowly. “And it’s not as if you’ll do anything to cross me, right brat?”

Eren stared down at his pencil, still refusing to face the other. “Why are you asking me that?”

He heard Levi sigh deeply. “Can you face me first? I feel like I’m talking to myself.”

Eren slowly rotated his computer chair until he was fully facing Levi. His roommate sat in his own chair that was facing him now, legs causally crossed. He was wearing one of his plain dark pajamas and pullover sweaters. He looked relaxed, not angry, but he was also looking at him like he was scrutinizing Eren’s every fiber.

“What do you want?” Eren asked softly, feeling uncomfortable.

“Your lucky day has come, brat,” Levi said. “I need a favor.”

Eren was perplexed. “What could you possibly want from me?”

“My friend, Historia, needs a fake boyfriend. You’re a good-looking, well-mannered guy who looks like you grew up with money so you fit the bill quite nicely.”

“What?”

“You know your way around forks and spoons and knives in fancy fine dining restaurants?”

“My family indulge, sometimes,” he reluctantly admitted but not wanting to be called ‘rich’ like what people from his high school did.

“You won’t have to do much. Just take some pictures with her in different clothes and… when the situation calls for it, maybe go out to dinner with her.”

Eren chose to ignore the fact that his mind chose to latch on to the words ‘good looking’ and was still holding on to it, and instead asked, “What do you mean, ‘when the situation calls for it’? I want to know more about this and why I need to do it. And aren’t you going to ask if I’m seeing somebody first?”

“Well, are you?” Levi asked simply.

“Um, no. I’m single.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Besides, it wouldn’t matter if you had a girlfriend. I’m just asking you to pretend, not actually go out with her. Her old farts keep asking her about getting a boyfriend so she just wants to have a stash of pictures she could send them occasionally to keep them out of her case. Although highly unlikely as her parents are always on vacation, they might drop by for a visit so that’s when the situation calls for it.”

Eren was completely relaxed now that he knew Levi seemed completely unaware of what he saw earlier and was just asking for a favor that Eren felt like he could do. Honestly, he was just so relieved that it wasn’t him being confronted by Levi that anything other than that was better.

“That sounds easy enough although I’m not comfortable with the idea of actually meeting her parents. How long is this going to go on for anyway?” he asked.

“Just for this year,” Levi said and then his eyes softened, “she made the decision to come out to them next summer. She just needs time to gather her courage so this is really important to her. I wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t.”

Eren nodded, a bit surprised at how, almost, Levi was trying to convince him while looking the most unsure he’s seen him despite his roundabout way of doing it, like he was almost afraid he’d say no. Inside, Eren felt pummeled. He never knew he would see these many sides of his roommate. A barista, a lover, and now being a caring friend was yet another surprise and he didn’t know what to make of it.

“And don’t worry, I’ll make it worth your while,” Levi told him quickly. “I can give you discount cards for the Zoe Café, no expiration. I can bring you food once, no, every other week from the café as well. I’m broke so I can’t give you money but it’s not like you need it.” He definitely looked worried. He was looking around the room now, gaze landing on the work sheets on Eren’s table. “But I could help you with those.”

Eren laughed. “Seriously? I’m good in math,” he said in mock confidence.

“Well apparently I’m better than you because you skipped a lot of easy items and I spotted three that you answered incorrectly,” Levi returned.

“Hey! You’re not supposed to go through my stuff. You are violating the roommate rules!” Eren said, pretending to be affronted.

“It was wide open. I didn’t need to touch to see.”

Eren laughed again, enjoying the fact that he was actually, properly, talking to his roommate for the first time and was even trading jokes with him. Maybe.

“Why does it have to be me?” he asked finally. “If it’s as easy as you say it will be, why can’t you get someone else to do it?”

“Well, apart from looking the part, I’m asking you because I know I can end you if you do anything funny like rat out my friend to her parents or make her feel uncomfortable when you need to take pictures with her,” Levi replied.

“Wow, it sounds almost like you don’t trust me but you trust yourself that you can keep me in check,” he said. “I’m not a bag guy, you know?”

Levi smirked. “I know.”

Eren felt suddenly warm around the collar. “You don’t really know that but thanks for the vote of confidence, I guess.”

Levi nodded, biting his lower lip in what Eren was sure was an unconscious action. “So, what do you say?”

“Okay. I’ll do it,” he announced and Levi was about to thank him when he continued, “but I have some terms of my own.”

“You cheeky bastard.”

Eren ignored him. “I do want the discount cards, and the food, and the help with this worksheets. However, I want to reserve a special favor that you have to do when I really need it.”

Levi was quiet as he considered this. “Okay, that seems fair.”

“And I want to have permission to use your printer when I need to,” he added hurriedly.

“I’ll fucking end you.”

“You’re asking me to lie to someone’s parents! For a year!”

“Tch. Fine. But don’t you get cocky with me brat. I really will end you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this chapter contains a scene involving Erwin x Levi


	3. Long night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren meets more of Levi's friends. He goes to a party and things don't go according to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: check at the end of the chapter (pairing related)
> 
> Yep, still in quarantine. I'm finding this story very easy to write because it's writing itself. I'm almost done writing chapter 5 and oh boy, I hope you all will still stick around after the things I've done. XD

3

Historia, as it turned out, was really pretty. She was adorably short, slim build, had long shiny blonde hair, big blue eyes, and plump red lips. Her voice was soft, demure, and she was really grateful when she met Eren for the first time. She was the type of girl that every boy fantasized about, the kind that you bring home to meet your parents because you know they would love her just as you did. Heads turned when she walked, guys throwing longing stares at her while the other girls either envied her or wanted to be her. He now understood why Levi was a bit protective when he asked Eren to do this.

Levi had asked him to go to the Zoe Café one early afternoon to meet her. Since Levi was on shift, he only made brief introductions and left them to discuss. Eren couldn’t help but admire her face as she greeted him warmly, like an angel smiling down from heaven. She was really beautiful, the kind of face he would have fallen for.

_The fuck._

“Thank you so much for doing this, Eren,” Historia said. “It’s really nice of you to do this.”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Eren said, scratching the back of his head. “It’s no big deal.”

Historia’s face hardened. She glanced at Levi who was busy at the barista station before turning to Eren. “What did Levi tell you?” she asked seriously.

“Oh, uh,” Eren fumbled, a little taken aback by her change of demeanor, “that you needed to do this because of your parents. And that it’s only until next summer until… you came out to your parents? Sorry, I asked him why you needed this, I hope you don’t mind.”

Historia shook her head. “It’s fine. I’m out to everyone actually, except for my parents.”

“Okay,” Eren said relieved. “You looked worried there for a second.”

Historia smiled. “Well, Levi is a dear friend but I know he can be a bit… intimidating.”

“I agree,” he said immediately.

“Well, I just want to make sure that you are doing this out of your own free will. You’re perfect since nobody in our circle really knows you. I plan to tell my parents that we have broken up after a few months you see? But I don’t want Levi sort of pushing you into doing this if you don’t want to.”

“Oh,” Eren said, understanding. “No, Levi didn’t force me. I mean, yeah, he does intimidate me but I decided to help out because I want to, especially when he told me about you and your situation. He gave me discount coupons for coffee and gave me access to his printer but it wouldn’t hurt for someone like him to owe me a favor, right?” he said with a wink.

Historia laughed. “You’re a nice person, Eren. I hope you become friends with Levi. His previous roommate was a wimp but I think you will manage to succeed where he had failed.”

“And that is?”

“Earning Levi’s trust of course!”

Eren stared at her and then across the room where Levi was carefully laying out drinks for a group of girls. “We’ll see,” he said amicably.

Historia laughed softly, taking a sip from her tea with her pinky finger out, before saying, “He’s all bark but no bite, believe me. He intimidates people with how he acts but he’s a big softie once you get to know him.”

Eren laughed nervously remembering the first time he met Levi.

“Eren, can you humor me for a bit?” she asked suddenly serious again and he nodded. “You seem like a nice guy. Levi definitely deems you trustworthy enough to bring you here to meet me and help me with my situation so I feel comfortable with talking to you.”

Levi did threaten him into secrecy and he took the chance to get back at him for imposing rules on him on the first day but Eren chose not to tell Historia those.

“I met Levi in high school. He was much the same back then, always acting like he does and rubbing people off the wrong way and I,” Historia paused, thinking of how to describe it with a nervous laugh, “well, I was a popular girl. I wasn’t out back then and I was so scared of anyone finding out that I kept appearances, the perfect little girl. Of course, all secrets are bound to be discovered and mine was found out by some nasty girls who just wanted to see me broken. They found a letter that I dropped into the locker of a girl I had a crush on, a friend of theirs. They saw me do it and planned something mean. They confronted me publicly, the girl I had written a love confession for was there and she told everyone how disgusting I was.”

Her voice was even but Eren could tell that the hurt still lingered there as she recounted the scene so clearly that he could almost see it, how it must have felt to be abhorred by the person you liked. It was hard to imagine such a thing happening to someone as attractive as Historia but there she was.

“But you know what?” she continued, her long face suddenly brightening, eyes twinkling, “Levi stepped right into her face and kissed her. Everyone was shocked. I was too, I didn’t know him and he came out of nowhere. Then he pushed her away and then he looked at me and then he said, for everyone to hear, ‘Thank you Historia, for delivering my letter. I thought she looked cute but she’s just a rotten homophobic idiot so I take it back. And your breath smells.”

Eren laughed out loud, Historia joining in with him. He could almost hear Levi’s voice saying just that. “But why did he do that? You said you weren’t friends?”

Historia shook her head. “No, not at all!”

“Then why?”

She shrugged. “I asked him about it after but he said that I looked so pitiful, letting those silly girls walk all over me. I thanked him and he told me I had bad taste in women and I think we became friends ever since.”

Eren smiled, genuinely impressed. “What a story.”

She looked pleased. “It really was epic. I feel like with how kind of a person he really is, he deserves to have more people around who will look after him. So yeah, don’t let him fool you. I think you will be good friends if you are patient enough.”

“I find that hard to believe,” he told her. They were both watching the man go about his job. It really was surreal to see him act so professional. “But maybe you’re right.”

“Please, mam and sir, kindly refrain from ogling our barista.”

Eren turned to the voice nervously and saw a tall girl (boy?) with long brown hair tied up in a ponytail wearing glasses, smiling at him. The person was wearing a white button down and dark brown pants under an apron, similar to what Levi was wearing.

“Hange!” Historia exclaimed and they hugged. “Don’t do that, Eren might think you’re serious.”

The person, who was apparently Hange, laughed before turning to him with an apologetic smile. “So you’re the fake boyfriend Levi recruited. The roommate eh? I’m Hange Zoe, I work in and co-own this lovely establishment which means I’m Levi’s boss. Somewhat. How do you do?”

He smiled, taking the hand that was held out. “Nice meeting you. I love this place,” he said. Hange looked like they were just about his age.

“Thank you!” Hange said excitedly. “And sorry about that, you were both really ogling my employee so I couldn’t resist.”

“Hange!” Historia warned though she was smiling. “But to be fair, Levi gets some attention from other customers sometimes so we’re just acting normally.”

“You look really young to be Levi’s boss,” he said uncertainly but that made them just even more excited.

“You flatter me!”

“Hange is a student in the university, just like us,” Historia cut her off. “Her dad technically owns the place.”

“Mr. Zoe sold some of his share to me, thank you very much,” Hange said indignantly before smiling again at Eren. “So. Tell us. Does Levi really keep a poisonous spider and put it on his roommate’s bed at night?”

Eren’s eyes widened, realizing just how exaggerated the stories had become. He laughed it off. “What? Spiders might be considered dirty. He’d rather strangle me to death with his bare hands than risk getting cobwebs in the room.”

“Levi,” Hange called out suddenly to the barista who was currently in the middle of topping a drink with whipped cream, holding the spray bottle when he glanced towards them, “this guy’s smart! I think he’ll be a permanent resident.”

Levi seemed to have coldly ignored his supposed boss, nonchalantly handing the drink to a couple of girls who promptly thanked him. As soon as their backs were turned however, he casually flipped the finger at Hange before going to restock the pasty display.

“He loves me,” Hange said laughing.

\--------------------------------------------------

Over the next few months, Eren learned that Levi said ‘I will end you’ a lot without really meaning it. He said it to Historia when he was attempting to take her and Eren’s picture while eating at the cafeteria and she kept making faces. He said it to the other barista, Mike, after agreeing to take his shift when Mike asked him because he needed to be somewhere important. He said it to Hange quite at a regular basis though it seemed like the other was constantly begging for it. Eren heard him say it to Erwin too, once, when Levi accidentally bumped into the tall guy in front of Rose Hall and Erwin said something that was too soft for Eren to hear. He was just on his way into the building when he saw the seen.

The day that Armin finally met Levi came soon after Eren met Historia. Seeing as he was now in speaking terms with his roommate who technically owed him a favor, Eren decided to bring Armin to the Zoe Café for a late dinner when he knew (by observation, he did not stalk) that Levi would be there for his shift. Armin fell in love with the place, liking the food and drinks and how the place was always only sufficiently crowded, perfect for working on a laptop if he ever needed it. Eren introduced Levi and Armin when he brought their food and he was very pleased when Levi was actually nice to Armin.

“Your friend seems a lot smarter than you, brat. How did you end up being friends?” Levi deadpanned before leaving them to their food.

“I like him,” Armin said happily as he ate.

“He only said that because you told him that his cappuccino is the best one you’ve ever had,” Eren informed him.

“It is though,” Armin said. “And the art! Look at that. I almost don’t want to drink it.” His cup of cappuccino was topped with a delicate art made of steamed milk foam in swirly wisps to clearly make out a pair of wings.

They ended up staying in the café for two hours, studying while inadvertently waiting for Levi’s shift to end. At ten, the three of them stepped out of the café and walked back to campus together though Levi looked reluctant and tried to go faster. Hange called after them, running with a takeout bag full of left over pastries.

“For your studies tonight, or breakfast tomorrow!” they said brightly. “Share them and then tell your friends where you got them from!” Hange then walked back to the shop where Levi told them they lived on the second floor.

In their room, Levi was still mostly quiet but Eren had no qualms about striking a conversation now. The weather had been steadily getting colder and colder with the approach of winter and with it came the mistake that Eren hadn’t realized he made when he packed for college. He had forgotten to bring his thicker comforters. He glanced at the dresser that his roommate owned. Levi was still in the shower but Eren was sure that if he asked him, Levi would have a spare blanket for him to borrow if he subtly remind him how he was helping Historia.

Eren turned to the bathroom door when he heard it open. He was about to tell his roommate about his blanket situation but the words got stuck in his throat. Levi stepped out with only a white towel hanging around his waist, hair wet and slightly framing the sides of his face, droplets of water hanging on to his pale skin.

“Forgot my clothes,” Levi said when he caught Eren staring before quickly walking to his bed. The said clothes were indeed neatly folded on the sheets and Levi grabbed them before reentering the bathroom.

“I really need to get laid,” Eren muttered once he’s alone again and let his head hit the table with a thud.

He didn’t know what was happening anymore. Levi was, without a doubt, an attractive man. Even Armin said so. He saw a lot of customers in the café checking the man out while Levi manned the barista station, completely oblivious to the eyes tracking his movements. But for Eren to have this much reaction to Levi like he was a teenage girl with a crush? He was getting pathetic.

Levi soon emerged from the bathroom, this time fully clothed. He was still toweling his hair as he walked to his things. He rummaged through a paper bag that he had brought back with him from the café and fished out a brown paper bag. “Here,” he said as he handed it to Eren who was slumped against his table.

Eren could smell the herby aroma of pesto from within. “Wow, that smells really nice. Thank you,” he said and took the bag. He opened the plastic takeout container and sure enough, it was pasta.

“A deal is a deal,” Levi said as he continued to towel his hair. “I didn’t know though that four eyes will be giving you guys a load of pastries so you might not be able to finish…”

Levi’s words drifted off as he watched Eren starting to shovel the pasta into his mouth.

“Nevermind,” Levi said instead. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to undo some of the tangles. “Didn’t you eat at the café?”

“That was two hours ago,” Eren replied while chewing.

Levi frowned in apparent disgust but that only made Eren smile, purposefully wide to reveal the green sludge of half-eaten pesto pasta against his teeth.

“Fucking disgusting,” Levi muttered before walking off to his table and began working.

Eren laughed and continued to eat, feeling quite pleased with himself.

\---------------------------------

Eren was sure that there was an ancient Chinese proverb that said, ‘If you hate a person now, give him another chance and he will help you one day.’

It was a Friday afternoon and Eren just finished his last class for the day. He exited the lecture hall and walked straight out of the building thinking of dropping by at the Zoe Café for a snack. He was stopped by a tap on his shoulder. Armin and Jean were waiting for him.

“Hey,” he greeted them.

“Jean invited us to a party tonight,” Armin said. “I don’t know if you want to but I told Jean I’m not going if you’re not.”

Armin looked like he would rather not go to the said party and was counting on Eren to say no. He hated letting his friend down but a college party was just what he was looking for at the moment, unfortunately.

“I don’t know, Jean, I was planning to do some advance reading tonight,” Eren said, playing it cool. “Where is this party anyway?”

“Only at the Alpha Sigma Tau frat house,” Jean announced proudly. “They’re having an open party. They’ll have lots of booze, music, and you know what else? The girls from their sister sorority!”

That sounded perfect.

“Hnmmm… Sounds like it’s going to be crowded,” Eren said and Armin looked really happy until he continued, “but maybe we can just drop by to check things out? You know, have a drink and leave after an hour?”

Eren was going to get laid tonight.

“That’s the spirit!” Jean exclaimed, clapping Eren at the back. It was the first time the horse face looked really pleased with him. “Though I doubt you will be leaving that early.”

“What? No,” Armin muttered.

“Come on, Armin, it could be fun. And you have to let loose sometimes. We just finished a round of exams anyway so we should reward ourselves a little,” he told his friend.

“Yeah! Listen to Eren. It’s going to be awesome!” Jean seconded.

Eren gave his a friend a reassuring smile. “We can go at ten then well leave at eleven sharp, I promise.”

“We better because if you’re not by the door at ten fifty-nine, I’m leaving you behind.”

Time ticked away fast and soon, the boys were standing outside the big frat house of Alpha Sigma Tau, currently blaring with loud popular music with windows flashing various colors of neon. The three greek letters situated above the entrance was barely visible in the dark sky but Eren could already see and hear a lot of people inside.

The three of them walked up the doors where some of the fraternity members were greeting the newcomers. They got such greeting as they stepped into the frat house, joining the crowd of people who were drinking and moving to the beat of the music. Armin muttered something about hygiene but Eren was too preoccupied with what he was seeing: pretty college girls who were clearly checking him out from across the room.

Horse face, you are a genius.

“Hey Armin, do you mind if I go talk to those girls over there?” he quickly asked his friend who immediately looked panicked.

“What?! We just got here and you immediately ditching me?”

“I’ll keep you company,” Jean said. “Come on, let’s get some drinks over there.”

Jean, you are a blessing to mankind.

Eren pushed Armin to the direction of the alcohol table who reluctantly walked away when Eren gave him a meaningful look. Eren was thankful that his friend was smart and understood immediately. He then walked over the girls who were standing by the wall, drinks in hand.

“Hey,” he announced before motioning towards the red cup they were drinking. “Where did you get that? I want one.”

“Oh, it’s over there,” one of them, a short haired girl with blonde locks said.

“It’s good stuff,” the other one said, a girl with long curly brown hair.

“We can share,” the blonde one said with a mischievous smile before offering her drink to him.

Eren took it and drank, making sure to keep eye contact with her as he did. “It’s good,” he told her.

“I’m Shannon,” the blonde one said.

“Eren,” he returned.

“And I’m Vera, if anyone’s interested,” the other girl said, looking at them with a knowing smile.

“Hey Eren,” Shannon said as she casually placed a hand on his arm, “have you seen the rooms upstairs?”

Eren smiled at her and put a hand on her waist. “I haven’t actually. It’s my first time here.”

“Want me to show you?”

Eren allowed himself to be pulled across the labyrinth of sweaty bodies across the room. Shannon led him to the hallways where a few people were making out already. The staircase was wide and some people took that opportunity to sit on the steps and have their partners sit on their laps. Some were passing along lighted joints and tablets that he didn’t want to know. They opened a couple of rooms that were already occupied by other couples and tried to open two others that were locked before they finally found an empty bedroom.

Eren quickly locked the door behind them. When he turned back to the room, the girl was already lying on the bed, her blouse open to reveal the lacy bra she was wearing underneath. She smiled at him, eyes seductive at him as she slowly pulled her skirt up to show her panties.

“Sexy,” he told her and she smirked before getting up.

She walked slowly to him until they were close. She drank from her cup and then passed it on to him. Eren took it and tipped the rest of the contents down his throat before tossing it aside and pushing her against door.

“Kiss me,” she said and he did.

Eren knew this game. Though he didn’t play much, he had been there before. The situation felt familiar, the desire beginning to build and he let it take over him. He pressed her hand against the door when she clasped their hands together. She moaned, putting her other hand on his nape and suddenly, Eren’s mind was slammed by a visual memory, the scene of a short man with black hair, getting kissed by a bigger man against his dorm room door.

Eren jolted away from his partner, breathing heavily and utterly confused.

“What’s wrong?” Shannon asked with a nervous laugh.

Wouldn’t he like to know?

“I… I’m not…” he said unconsciously, wiping his mouth with back of his hand.

“Hey! I brushed my teeth!” she said indignantly before uncertainly breathing against her palm.

“Sorry,” he muttered before hastily stepping out of the room, ignoring Shannon’s shouts of ‘hey’ and ‘what a jerk!’

He quickly made his way downstairs, smoothly dodging other people. He found the alcohol table and swiped one of the cups, downing the contents in two huge gulps. Without thinking, he grabbed another one and another one, emptying them in rapid succession. The music suddenly felt too loud that it was hurting his head. The heat in the room, the low lights, the crowded space… Eren looked around trying to find Armin. He took out his phone when he could find him on the first floor and tried to call him. While waiting for his friend to pick up, Eren saw the other attendants in the room, all having fun. He expected all these, had looked forward to it but suddenly, just seeing that memory again, he just felt like he didn’t want to be there anymore. It felt wrong. He just wanted to go back to his room.

“ _Eren_?”

“Armin where are you? Why did it take you so long to pickup?” he said, looking around and cupping the phone against his mouth.

“ _Oh, uh, I didn’t hear it immediately. I’m at the kitchen._ ”

“I don’t feel too good. I think I’m going back,” Eren said. “Are you coming with me?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, I’ll wait for you outside.”

The breath of fresh air outside helped him calm down. The cool night breeze almost instantly made everything feel better but he would rather retake his exams than go back inside. He ignored the flirty looks being sent his way, pretending to not notice them and busying himself with his phone.

“Are you okay?” Armin asked him as soon as he spotted Eren.

“I’m okay. I just need some rest.”

They walked back together in silence. Eren knew that his friend really wanted to know what happened but just one look at him and his curt responses made him already aware that Eren wasn’t ready to talk. He was grateful for it. He didn’t know what to say either. He just wanted to be in bed.

“Get some rest okay?” Armin told him as Eren stepped into the elevator once they reached Rose Hall.

“Yeah.”

Armin nodded, giving him a meaningful look that said they were going to talk about this soon.

As he reached the fourth floor and stepped into the hallway, he froze. The door to his room was right there but in his mind, he could see two figures on that door. Eren huffed in frustration as he forcefully opened the door only to find the very person he didn’t want to deal with at the moment sitting on his bed with a shirt in hand and a threaded needle on the other. They stared at each other for a moment before Eren looked away, busying himself with his shoes and then walking to his own bed before slumping on his back, arms spread wide.

“Fun night?”

Of course, Levi would choose this night to make conversation.

“Hnmmm,” Eren grunted, keeping his eyes on the ceiling and ignoring his roommate’s form in the periphery.

“That bad, huh,” Levi said, voice without sympathy.

Eren sighed deeply and placed his arm over his eyes to block out the shorter man. He didn’t want to deal with him right now. It was a dumb idea to come back here when he knew that there was a big chance that he could see Levi here. Why did he have to be so stupid, sticking his nose into other people’s business?

“Hey”

Eren ignored him.

“Hey, brat,” Levi persisted, this time bumping Eren’s leg with his own.

“What?” Eren muttered, not bothering to hide his annoyance. When he uncovered his eyes, the room was much dimmer and Levi was standing beside him with two tablets on his hand and a glass of water in the other.

“Take these,” Levi ordered as Eren sat up. “They’re just vitamins but they will help with the headache. Take another one when you wake up tomorrow. The tablets are in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.”

Eren silently stared at the tablets and then at Levi. His roommate looked a bit annoyed and for a moment, Eren thought that he was going to sock him in the face but then he could suddenly feel Levi’s palm against his lips, tablets falling into his open mouth.

“Just take the damn thing,” Levi said and then he was tipping the glass into Eren’s mouth.

He allowed Levi to assist him. He didn’t feel particularly drunk or hungover but he allowed Levi to keep that assumption too. “Thanks,” he muttered.

“Tch, honestly. Don’t drink too much if you can’t handle it,” Levi told him before going back to the shirt he had been sewing and started to put everything away.

“You can turn on the lights so you can finish,” Eren said weakly.

Levi snorted. “I’d rather finish this sometime else than see someone bleed through their eyes because the room is too bright. Fucking dumb brat.”

Eren clenched his hands on his sheets, his body remaining motionless as he listened to his roommate move around the room. There were soft footsteps, the distinct sound that their indoor slippers made that Eren had come to know. Then there was the soft creaking of the mattress on the other bed under the weight of someone crawling under the covers. Silence took over the room, the soft warm glow from Levi’s bedside lamp the only source of light.

“You’re a good guy, Levi.”

He heard the other snort again and he could imagine that amused smirk on Levi’s face when he thought Eren was being stupid again.

“Sleep it off, kid. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

For the first time in a long time, even before he moved out for college, Eren woke up with the darkness still hanging outside the windows. He fell asleep in the exact position he was in the previous night, shoes and jacket still on. He felt dirty and in dire need of a shower but other than that, he felt way better. He sat up, glancing at the blinking LED lights of his alarm clock that said it was only fifteen minutes past five in the morning. He stood, deciding that he wanted the gunk of yesterday off his body and down the shower drain when his eyes landed on the other bed.

For the first time since moving in, Eren saw Levi deep in slumber and he froze. The usually scowling face was relaxed, mouth slightly open in slow shallow breaths of sleep. His hair fell neatly on his pillow like it was combed, head resting on a slight tilt to the right, one hand relaxed near his cheek while the other was somewhere hidden under his blanket.

Eren walked closer, staring at the sleeping face. There was a slight urge to touch, to poke his finger against one of Levi’s cheeks. He kneeled beside the bed, careful not to make any sounds. He didn’t know what he would do. He suddenly remembered the girl from the frat party and then the scene he accidentally saw at his doorway replayed. He was so confused.

A sudden buzzing sound of a phone vibrating brought Eren out of reverie, making him jump back and then scramble for the wardrobe where he kept his towel. The next second, a loud rock music chorus was playing in the room and Levi was stirring. Eren quickly grabbed his towel and clothes before making a dash for the bathroom. He sighed in relief, smiling as he heard the blaring bass and drums being suddenly cut off. It was a wonder, now that he finally heard what Levi’s alarm was like, how he was able to consistently sleep through that for months. If Levi decided one night that he really wanted to slit Eren’s throat in sleep, he was screwed. Once he finished his bath, he stepped out to find Levi sitting on the bed with his legs crossed, towel and clothes on his lap.

“What woke you up so early?” he asked Eren.

Eren shrugged. “The dirt. I feel sweaty because I fell asleep in my day clothes,” he said and the other made a face. “And you’re right. The stuff you gave me worked. I don’t feel hungover at all.”

Levi smirked. “Listen to your elders when they tell you something and you will usually end up fine.”

“Usually?”

“Nobody’s perfect,” Levi said as he walked to the bathroom.

“And you’re hardly my elder. You’re a sophomore so that means you’re just a year older, maybe even less.”

“Still older.”

“When is your birthday anyway?” Eren asked, looking at the floor. “Mine is March thirty.”

He stared at the floor, waiting for a reply but it didn’t come. He looked up when Levi called him, “Brat, catch.”

He looked up just in time to see a medicine container flying towards him. He caught it in midair and gave Levi a questioning look.

“It’s the same thing I gave you last night. For good measure.”

He nodded and then Levi closed the bathroom door. He stared at the container in his hand, reading the label. It was half empty already. He didn’t feel like he needed more, just as he felt like he didn’t need it last night but he tipped the white plastic sideways and got one of the oval yellow tablets. He popped it into his mouth and went back to bed.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Eren x female OC


	4. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets closer to Levi while trying to sort out his thoughts. Levi gets bad news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this, thank you for getting this far into the story!

4

They were nearing the end of autumn. The trees in the campus were bright with varying fiery shades of red, orange and brown. The wind was crisp with the promise of cooler days to come but the weather at was pleasant for now. Armin and Eren sat on the grass enjoying the time before they would inevitably get snowed inside. With them sat a few other students that they have started hanging out with including Jean, Marco, Connie, and Reiner. The six of them all had some sort of studying materials lying around them but nobody was really accomplishing anything except for Armin.

“Have you finished the hand sketches, Eren?” Connie asked him from beside Marco and Reiner. He was in the same art class as him and that was where they met, their mutual admittance of their poor drawing skills sparking a quick friendship.

“Yeah, I finished it last week,” he replied. Although he wasn’t very good at it, sketching and the whole art class was pleasant surprise for Eren. He didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as he was doing.

“What? How did you manage it so fast?” Connie exclaimed and then frantically took out his sketch pad from his bag.

“Mrs. Richards said we’ll be doing the whole body next week, remember? You have to finish the hands now,” he told Connie, feeling pleased that he was unusually ahead in school work.

“Enjoying arts?” Armin asked beside him.

“It’s pretty nice. It’s laid back and Mrs. Richards is nice to everyone,” he said.

“I was hoping to get her too but her blocks are full and I got the other nasty one, Mr. Zacharias,” Reiner joined in.

“Tough luck,” Connie said sympathetically before telling Reiner to hold out his hand so he could sketch it. Jean and Marco laughed but then they remembered that they too had unfinished works in the form of their English literature essays which, Eren smugly thought, he already finished too.

“Are you alright?” Armin asked suddenly.

Eren frowned. “Yeah, I mean, the algebra one is still a work in progress but other than that, I think I’m doing pretty well,” he said. He hadn’t started on the fifth set of worksheets yet but Eren thought that since they were still on the last week of November, he’d have at least two more weeks before the winter break.

“Not that,” Armin said. “We still haven’t talked about what happened at the frat party.”

Eren’s eyes widened. He knew this conversation was waiting to happen but he almost forgot about it given how well things were going with his not-relationship with his roommate. “What do you mean? I was sick. I wanted to go home. It wasn’t a big deal.”

“Can you not?” Armin told him impatiently then looked around the others who were still busy with their own things. “I know you, and I know something happened in there.”

Eren sighed, preparing to put the impossible task of explaining the muddled up thoughts that had been plaguing his mind. “I don’t know how to explain it, honestly. I’ve been thinking a lot about myself… and what I want and I just…” Armin watched him as his words drifted off, his thoughts escaping him. He didn’t want to name Levi, not yet. He wasn’t really sure what was happening.

“Is it something that has to do with university work?” Armin asked helpfully.

“No, I’m good with that. Surprisingly.”

“What then?” Armin asked. “Girls? Relationships?”

“Somewhat?” Eren said. It wasn’t a lie though it was only the tip of the iceberg. “I’m sorting it out at the moment. I’m trying to figure it out but I’m not in any kind of trouble so please, don’t worry about it. I’ll talk to you when I have my answers because right now, I don’t.”

Armin stared off at the other side of the field, watching some students try to toss a frisbee. “Okay, Eren. But whatever it is, please remember that I’m always here for you. Whenever you’re ready, I will listen,” he said.

Eren nodded with a smile which Armin returned. Just then, he felt his pocket vibrate and took out his cellphone. His guts an involuntary twist when he saw that it was Levi.

“Who is it?” Armin asked. Apparently, his face couldn’t hide the feeling of anxiousness when he saw his screen.

“Oh it’s from Levi,” he said and opened the message.

“Is everything okay?” Armin asked.

Eren shook his head. “Apparently, Historia’s parents are dropping to have an early thanksgiving dinner with her this Saturday.”

“Oh no. So that means,” Armin said.

“Yeah,” Eren agreed.

“You’re still lucky, Eren,” Reiner commented, apparently tuning in when he heard Historia’s name, “you get to pretend that you’re her boyfriend. She’s so pretty.”

“It’s _pretend_ boyfriend, Reiner. What good is that?” Jean said with a scoff. “Everyone knows she and that second year girl are going out.”

“You mean Ymir,” Marco said helpfully.

“Yes, that one,” Jean said.

“That doesn’t change the fact that Historia is one of the most beautiful girls around. I would have happily applied for the position of pretend boyfriend had I known the position was open,” Reiner said unmoved.

“Hey, she’s coming!” Connie exclaimed and true enough, Historia was walking across the field towards them. With her was Hange, Erwin, and a tall freckled girl with dark hair that Eren had never met before.

“Hey, Eren!” Historia greeted cheerfully.

“Nice day out,” Erwin greeted their group with a smile.

Eren smiled at them until Hange stepped aside to reveal Levi walking towards them. He gulped but tried to keep his face as neutral as possible.

“Can I ask for a selfie for my mom?” Historia asked, looking apologetic. “I’m sorry I have to ask now while you’re with your friends.”

“Oh, I don’t mind,” he assured her as he got up, brushing the grass off his pants.

“Put an arm on her shoulder,” Erwin suggested as Historia took out her phone, angling it for a good shot.

Eren smiled to the camera but his eyes flickered momentarily to Levi as he put his arm around the smaller girl and then he felt his face getting hot. The bastard was smirking at the sidelines.

“Don’t be shy, Eren,” Hange said while physically restraining the taller girl who was being awfully quiet at the back.

“Cheese!” Historia said and then took two shots from different angles. “Thank you so much, Eren!”

“It’s not a big deal,” he said with a smile which made Historia smile wider. Reiner, Connie, Jean, and Marco were all blushing as Historia and the others started to walk away, Erwin and Levi walking side by side to lead the group towards the parking lot.

“Hey, Eren,” Connie called, “we’re going to the cafeteria to grab a snack. Are you coming?”

Eren watched the group walk further and further away but he could still make out the moment when Erwin placed a casual hand around Levi’s shoulders. “Yeah, let’s go,” he said before tearing his eyes away from the scene. “I’m starving.”

Little did he know that Armin’s keen eyes were watching.

\-------------------------------------

“Struggling with that again?”

Eren whipped his head from the unfinished worksheet to the voice behind and found Levi peering over his shoulder. He didn’t hear him come in. “Don’t sneak up on me like that! You’re going to give me a heart attack,” he said.

Levi smirked. “Oh hush, you’re full of drama. And didn’t I help you with something like that before?”

“That can be hardly called ‘help,’ Levi,” he said, remembering the time the other was talking about. It was when he was doing his first worksheet and he asked Levi for help after they had a short photo-op with Historia outside the library. Levi looked at his work, called him an idiot, and showed him how to answer one of the items. Just one out of the _one hundred and thirty_ and left him to fend for himself. “You said you will help me and I demand that you make good with your word right now.”

Levi glared at him and Eren almost wanted to take his words back but then suddenly, his roommate was pushing his own chair beside Eren. “Scoot,” he told him.

Eren wordlessly moved his chair to make room for Levi. Both their chairs had armrests so there was a significant gap between them but Levi’s body was turned towards him, head leaning in close to look at the paper on the table which was close enough that he could catch a slight whiff of the clean scent of Levi’s hair. He had seen that bottle of shampoo in the bathroom but he didn’t know it smelled this good.

“Hey, what the fuck, brat? Listen to me when I’m explaining things,” Levi said, turning his head towards Eren and making the taller one remember that time when Levi went to his face on their first meeting to intimidate him. Had he started explaining already? Eren seemed to be developing a habit of spacing out lately.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly and tried hard to focus on what Levi was saying instead of how his lips looked a bit more pinkish red at the moment.

They went over item after item, this time Levi making good with his promise and surprising Eren that he could actually be a good tutor if he wanted. Unlike the last time. Soon, Levi let him answer the questions on his own while he remained seated beside Eren, eyes closed with head tilted back and his hands clasped together on his lap. Eren thought his roommate had fallen asleep when he suddenly spoke.

“You were… distracted earlier.”

“What do you mean?” Eren asked as he continued to write down equations.

“Earlier, with Historia, you were blushing like a tomato. You so were fucking obvious.”

The pencil in his hand froze. Eren swallowed and looked at Levi who was staring back at him, head leaning to the side as it rested on the palm of his right hand.

“You do know that Historia is gay, right?” Levi asked.

“What? Of course—I”

“She’s into girls. _That_ kind of gay.”

“I know that!”

“She was with her girlfriend earlier, the tall girl.”

Eren rolled his eyes in irritation and forced himself to write, ignoring his roommate’s stare that was burning the side of his face. He didn’t want Levi to get even an inkling that he may be somewhat, in a very little way, possibly be a bit… curious about him and not Historia. It was logical for him to think that Eren was self-conscious earlier because of Historia and yet, it annoyed him.

Dammit he hated everything!

“But I have to give you kudos kid,” Levi droned on.

“Don’t you have a report or something?” Eren asked but was ignored.

“I mean, I can imagine it being very hard not to feel things when your type is right there and you have a valid reason to act all clingy to her. You did well, brat.”

“Historia is not my type,” he spat before he could think.

“Oh?” Levi said, as he sat up straight, looking at Eren with renewed interest. “It’s rare finding a straight man whose type isn’t Historia.”

Eren smirked, still pretending to be engrossed in his work. “You don’t know me but, what can I say? I’m just the good-looking straight guy who happens to be your roommate.”

Levi’s eyes narrowed and he was silent for a while. Eren couldn’t help feeling satisfied at having left his roommate speechless. He glanced at him briefly before chuckling lowly to his paper.

“What are you getting at?”

Eren put the pencil down and finally looked back at Levi. He turned his body towards him and, in a sudden stroke of courage, leaned closer, putting his right arm on the backrest of his chair. His hand was almost touching the backrest of Levi’s chair but he didn’t dare extend his reach further. One of Levi’s brows raised in question and he smiled widely.

“I know I’m just a brat in your eyes,” he told him.

“True”

“But! I think that since we are roomies, we should, you know, hang out or something.”

“Right,” Levi replied, unimpressed.

“What? It will make things easier!”

“For you maybe”

“Here, have a fun question. Would you rather eat fries or carrots forever?”

Levi stared at him like he was amazed by his intelligence in a very sarcastic way.

“Okay, how about would you rather be good looking but dumb, or hideous but super smart?”

“I don’t want to hang out with someone who can’t even handle being in a frat party for a few minutes without going back to his room, whining about a hangover.”

Eren’s smile soured. “You’re just going to keep bringing that up, aren’t you?”

“Of course,” Levi replied and then sighed, sinking into his chair and staring at the ceiling tiredly. “What the fuck am I even doing.” When Eren gave him a questioning look, Levi elaborated, “I’m supposed to use my early outs from shifts to sleep or get some work done but instead, I’m tutoring a brat who goes to parties when he can’t even drink.”

“Hey, I can handle my alcohol just fine,” he defended. “I’m going to clear that misconception one time, you mark my words.”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up,” Levi said tiredly, and closed his eyes. “You’re annoying. And Noisy. Stop yapping already and finish your work.”

“I asked you earlier if you had work to do,” Eren muttered under his breath.

For several blissful minutes, the room was quiet and Levi relaxed in his chair, his consciousness pleasantly drifting farther and farther. Eren didn’t know that Levi got only a few hours of sleep yesterday and then earlier at work, Levi had to deal with an irate customer who couldn’t tell a latte from a cappuccino and kept on insisting that Levi made her the wrong drink. His feet were aching from being on his feet for hours and the office of student relations wanted to see him about his scholarship...

“Hey, Levi”

Levi’s eyes opened to give Eren a murderous glare.

“The fuck is your problem?”

“Would you rather be a shark with no teeth or a lion with no legs?”

That night, well into the night, Eren went to bed with his worksheets finally finished but not before experiencing what it was like to be in a tight headlock while a very annoyed roommate was giving you a painful noogie ‘for being a little shit who should leave people along when they’re trying to sleep’. His eyes watered and the muscles of his neck became sore and as he pleaded to be let go, he vaguely realized that strength sometimes came in small packages.

\----------------------------

It had been a long time since he had the motivation to exercise but when Eren came back from his afternoon jog, he felt refreshed. Despite deciding to do so when it was almost winter, it felt good to use his legs again and feel the soreness that only exercise could bring. It reminded him of his time when he had been swimming competitively in high school. He had been ready to give it up when he graduated but now he was considering taking it up again. He knew the university had a wonderful pool in the campus. He was sweating when he came into his room, thinking of having a quick shower before going to check out the said pool when a knock came. Eren wiped the beads of sweat rolling down the side of his face with the neck of his black dri-fit as he walked back to the door and opening it.

“Hey,” Erwin greeted, smiling pleasantly. “Eren, right?”

Once again, the scene he had been trying to forget came back to him in full force. He gave his head a slight shake before remembering to put on a smile and greeting back, “Erwin. What’s up?”

“Is Levi around?” Erwin asked.

“No, sorry,” he replied. “I don’t know what time he’ll be coming back but I think… he’s at Martin Building for a class? Not sure though.”

Erwin shook his head. “It’s fine. I’m just here to deliver something. Can I leave it with you?”

“Sure,” Eren said.

Erwin handed him a white envelope with their university’s seal at the back. “It’s from student relations. I told him to drop by but I think he forgot. This is very important so please make sure this gets to him okay?”

“I’ll hand it over as soon as he comes.”

“Thanks. I have to run though.” Erwin smiled and was about to run off before calling out again, “Oh, and Eren?”

“Yes?”

“Can you tell Levi, I’ll meet him tonight at the old place?”

He was looking at Erwin but his eyes were seeing something different. His head was playing with his vision, making him see two men shaped figures, one taller than the other, on a bed, holding each other close. Flashes of _the_ incident playing, interspersed with the promise of a repeat tonight…

“Will do!” Eren forced himself to say.

When Erwin left, Eren closed the door and sat down on his chair, inspecting the envelope. It was sealed. He knew his roommate was under a scholarship and if Erwin said that this letter was urgent… He didn’t want to worry. He stood and quickly laid the letter down Levi’s table, making sure to put a paper weight on it.

A meeting tonight.

Eren was on his back again with his hair still damp from the shower, staring at the ceiling. The afternoon sun was filtering through the web of branches and leaves outside the window. He blocked out some of the rays with his hand and he tried to focus on the lines on his fingers. With his other hand he retrieved his cellphone and opened his contacts. He quickly found the numbers of the girls he met just a few weeks ago. He stared at the screen for a long time before breathing deeply and locking the screen again.

“I don’t care what your dad says, four eyes. I can handle it,” came Levi’s voice almost immediately as Eren heard the door open. Quietly, he watched the man walk in, change his shoes, and then toss his bag on the floor before walking to the window, phone in his ear and his other hand combing through his black hair in frustration.

Eren watched the back of his roommate’s head, wondering what kind of face he was making. He heard him swear and ‘tch’ a lot but he mostly kept silent, listening to whoever it was on the other end of the call. Eren sighed and then glanced at the envelope he had placed on his roommate’s table which remained unnoticed.

“Fine. Whatever,” Levi said and ended the call. He sighed deeply before making his way to his chair and sinking on it. He spotted the letter and then stared at Eren.

“Erwin came by earlier to give it,” he explained.

Levi glared at the piece of paper as he fished it from under the paperweight. Eren waited while the other read the back and then proceeded to tear it open. Levi read the folded sheets of paper quite fast. He chuckled mirthlessly before carelessly tossing them all on the table and letting his head fall back.

“Is… everything okay?” Eren asked carefully.

Levi shook his head, staring at the ceiling, mirroring what Eren had been doing earlier. “Just… fine and fucking dandy,” he muttered.

Eren sat up, waiting, but the other remained silent. “You can talk about it, you know, if you want. I’d listen.”

“There’s nothing you can do,” Levi replied.

“Try me,” he insisted.

Eren’s eyes were full of determination when Levi met them and he was slightly taken aback. He hid it well though, recovering fast. He motioned to the letter lying on his table and said, “Knock yourself out.”

Eren immediately stood to get it and read. Levi was silent as he waited, swiveling his chair left and right. “Scholarship suspension?” he muttered when he finished.

Levi ignored him and was now picking his nails.

“But that means they didn’t revoke it right? There are just,” Eren looked at the letter again, finding the words used, “issues with your documents. Once you fix those, things will be fine.”

“They’re doing an investigation because they think I used the money on something else,” Levi told him.

“But you didn’t” Eren said quickly but Levi only stared back. “Did you?”

“I did,” his roommate admitted. “Because of that, I submitted my payment to the university late, just one fucking day. I’ve always made the payment deadlines and they can’t even give me one fucking day.” Levi glared at the ceiling hands clenched like he wanted to punch it.

Eren swallowed. “There must be some way to tell them. I know someone working at student relations. Maybe you can send an appeal or set a meeting so you can talk to them,” he suggested.

“Yeah, tried that. Didn’t work,” Levi snapped and then looked back at Eren. “My funding will be suspended starting tomorrow and will likely disappear once the university gives my grantor the late receipt. So yeah, you can’t do anything about it right?”

Eren looked away in defeat, ashamed by his earlier boldness.

“What are you looking so constipated for?” Levi asked suddenly. “I wasn’t really hoping that you’d shit out a new scholarship from your ass so stop looking so gloomy, brat.”

Levi was not wrong. The problem he had was something no one could fix unless by someone who was in the scholarship committee. And Levi admitted that he did use the money for something so it was his own fault. He was just dealing with the consequences of his own actions. That may be the case but the whole situation wasn’t sitting well with Eren. Even though Levi jeopardized his own scholarship for some reason, Eren couldn’t help but feel like he wanted to do something.

“Fucking eyebrows,” Levi muttered then turned his gaze again to Eren. “Did Erwin say something else?”

Eren stared at his roommate and then at his feet. “He told me that he will meet you tonight… at the old place. Or something.”

Levi shifted in his seat and then turned back to the ceiling, looking like he was considering the information. Eren cursed inwardly. The sun had began to set outside, casting their room in partial darkness. For a moment there, he thought that he was going to lie, say he forgot or pass out wrong information. Levi surely had Erwin’s number even though Erwin wasn’t texting or calling him for some reason and chose Eren to pass the message. They still could have met without Eren’s help but there was this niggling annoyance that told him he didn’t want to make it easy at least.

“I’m going out,” Levi announced before swiftly gathering his things and walking to the door.

_Don’t._

He couldn’t stop him and he didn’t want to want to stop him. Still, Eren felt like the rug was pulled from under his feet. “Okay,” he replied.

But Levi wasn’t listening. He didn’t even look before he closed the door behind him and he was gone.

\------------------------------------------------


	5. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi meets Erwin. Levi's past haunt him, triggered by the present. Meanwhile, Eren tries to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy. The rating has changed. 
> 
> WARNING: Erwin x Levi smut at the start 
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who is following my story and taking the time to write comments. <3

5

“Fuck”

Levi moaned, back arching against the bed as he felt Erwin bottom out inside him, reaching deep into his very core. He clawed at the soft hotel sheets beside him, toes curling in dulled pain and intense pleasure. Erwin grinned down on him gripping one supple thigh as he watched the smaller man writhe beneath him and admiring the beautiful arch of his pale body.

“You’re fucking huge,” Levi panted, eyes unfocused as he tried to glare at him.

“Thank you,” Erwin replied with a smirk, allowing his partner to catch his breath before stealing it away again with a kiss.

Levi’s hands flew to grip the back of Erwin’s head, fisting the blonde locks as his mouth fell open and let the other’s tongue slip in. Erwin was more aggressive tonight, angling his head so he can completely seal their mouths together, loving the muffled moans and breaths of his partner as their tongues entangled hungrily. Levi had been resisting earlier, like there was any hope that they wouldn’t end up like this. Erwin knew fighting it was futile and Levi had accepted it too, now pliant and drowning in lust under him. Their naked bodies were covered in a light sheen of sweat, hot and alluring under the warm light of the bedside lamp.

Levi’s eyes widened, his moan silenced by Erwin’s mouth against his when the bigger man started moving, slowly drawing his cock almost all the way out before snapping his hips back to pound into him deeply. He whimpered, feeling Erwin’s balls slap against his ass cheeks and unconsciously wrapping his legs around Erwin’s hips. Without breaking the kiss, Erwin repeated the movement in quick succession, setting a steady rhythm as he fucked Levi deeply.

They were at it for several moments, the mattress squeaking softly under them. Levi felt like he was drowning, submerged under water for several minutes before he broke the kiss, panting harshly to his arm as it fell from its grip from Erwin’s shoulders. Erwin took the opportunity to put his mouth on the exposed neck, nipping and sucking while he continued to pound into the smaller man.

“Wa… Wait…” Levi tried breathlessly.

“Hnm?” Erwin paused, cock stopping in mid-thrust.

Levi took several deep breaths, adjusting his right leg which had been slipping from Erwin’s waist. “No marks. I have that job tomorrow.”

Erwin stared at him, considering. “No marks then,” he said finally.

Levi nodded and then Erwin was moving again. He closed his eyes, letting his partner take over, laying his body down open for Erwin to use and give him pleasure in return. This was one of the few instances where he can just let go and it felt wonderful. He moaned as Erwin’s cock found his sweet spot, moving his own hips in rhythm with the other’s thrusts.

“Finally relaxing,” Erwin commented, a little breathless, beads of sweat rolling down his temples and neck. He gently brushed Levi’s hair out of his face, sticking to his cheeks from sweat.

“Shut up and fuck me,” Levi replied and Erwin obliged.

When it was over, Levi was boneless and feeling fucked out. He was lying on his stomach, breathing slowly becoming even and his damp skin starting to cool. Beside him, Erwin sat with his back against the headboard, hair combed back with his fingers. Levi closed his eyes, savoring the dull ache in his body and then suddenly shooting open when he felt fingers lazily running on his bare back, following his spine from his nape and down to his ass.

“Keep your fucking hands to yourself,” Levi muttered and swatted the hand away.

Erwin frowned but did not respond, allowing his hand to go back to his own lap. After a few more minutes he said, “You’ve read the letter?”

Levi’s silence was answer enough. He wanted to touch, run his fingers in those black locks and capture Levi’s body in his own, wrap his arms around him and fall asleep. But he knew he wouldn’t be allowed.

“What happened?” he asked instead.

“Kenny needed the money,” Levi started as he curled his body into a ball while lying on his side, hugging his knees.

“Not again,” Erwin said, tone reprimanding. “That man is going to drag you down. I told you, you’ve got to stop letting him use you like this.”

“He didn’t ask,” Levi said defensively. “I sent it to him. Traute called and she told me he got thrown in jail. He’s a lot older now. I had to help.”

Erwin wanted to ask if he even bothered to check if the bastard really was in jail or if he was, why he got there in the first place but such thoughts had surely been in Levi’s mind who still gave his scholarship money away despite it. “He abandoned you. You don’t owe him anything.”

“It’s fucking done. There’s nothing I can do about it now.”

“And you’ll help him again. He’ll squeal and then you’ll come running like you always do.”

“He’s my mother’s brother,” returned Levi, voice raising. “Even if he’s a shitty one, he helped her. Until the end. I can’t just do nothing. You know I can’t.”

There was silence. They have talked about this hundreds of times before when they were just boys. They’ve exhausted the questions a long time ago to know that any discussion now was futile. Again, Erwin felt the urge to touch but instead he reached for his jacket from the floor without getting up.

“So what are you planning to do?”

Levi didn’t answer instead stretching his body that made Erwin feel a flicker of renewed interest in his cock, all feline grace as he slowly pushed himself up to sit. Levi was staring at him like he knew he had been looking so Erwin didn’t bother to hide it.

“I’ll think of something,” Levi said.

Erwin retrieved a cigarette from the pocket of his jacket before tossing it back on the floor where his clothes ended up earlier in their frenzy to get undressed. “You know,” he started as he lighted up the end of his cigarette and not missing the disgusted look on Levi’s face, “I can give you what you need—”

“I’m not some goddam—”

“Just until you get a new scholarship,” Erwin finished firmly and cutting out his protest. Levi stared at him, looking like he was going to cave but then his eyes hardened, just as he predicted.

“No.”

He took a deep drag and blew out the grey puff of smoke, swirling lazily in the air. “What? You’d rather get forced to stop uni? Possibly get kicked out of the dorms? Just because you’re too proud.”

“I don’t want to take anymore of your old man’s money,” Levi told him.

It was a low blow. Levi knew that Erwin didn’t like being reminded how he was still dependent on his father and his connections with the government. Erwin hated him but he also wanted to be like him so bad that no matter what aspect of his life, he had to obey whatever the man said.

“Please,” Erwin began as he pushed the cigarette against the ashtray before crawling over to where Levi sat, deciding to ignore the jab. He held his arms, pulling him closer and then gently capturing his face when he tried to look away. “Please, Levi,” he tried again.

He could see the internal struggle in those gray eyes as he looked at them and he swooped in, taking advantage of the moment’s weakness, pressing his lips against Levi’s. The shorter man kissed back and then they were encircled in each other’s arms. Erwin kissed him deeply, stealing away any chance of protest and wedging his thigh between Levi’s legs. Their bodies were getting hot again, his cock stirring against Levi’s thigh but before too long though, Levi pushed him back.

“Stop it,” Levi said. “Fucking hate your cigarette breath.”

He allowed the other to retreat, putting a bit of distance between them. “You didn’t mind it before… remember?” he said.

Levi’s shoulders tensed at the mention of times long gone. “I shouldn’t have come here,” he said before abruptly standing.

Erwin quickly followed, catching Levi’s arm and then hugging him from behind. “Yet you’re here,” he breathed against Levi’s ear and felt the smaller body shiver against him. He pulled Levi’s face up to capture his mouth with his and as they kissed, his other hand went to Levi’s cock, stroking firmly.

“No,” Levi muttered, grasping Erwin’s arm with both hands, neither stopping or encouraging him. “I have to leave.”

Erwin pulled Levi across his chest until their bodies were touching, his stirring cock bulging unmistakably against Levi’s back as he continued to stroke him. “No,” he breathed against Levi’s cheek.

With that last warning he dragged Levi back to the bed, pushing him roughly onto it. Levi fell on his hands on the mattress, feet dangling on the edge of the bed.

“Let me go, Erwin. Don’t… do this to me,” Levi pleaded but did not fight as he felt the other position himself behind him, pushing Levi’s back down the sheets. He braced himself, widening his stance as he felt the familiar head of Erwin’s cock prodding his hole.

“I’m sorry. I know what I said and nothing has changed,” Erwin muttered as he pushed his cock in, ignoring Levi’s whine, “but I can’t let you go yet.”

_You selfish fuck._

Levi bit the sheets as he felt Erwin bury himself balls deep into him. He was thankful that the other couldn’t see his face as his vision clouded and tears rolled down his face.

“Levi,” Erwin moaned as he began to move, kissing the side of his neck and then burying his face into Levi’s hair.

Levi didn’t respond but he clasped on to Erwin’s hands on the mattress as he allowed the other to take him again.

\---------------------------------------------------

_“I’m betrothed.”_

_Levi froze. He turned his gaze to Erwin who was already sitting up, lighting a cigarette._

_“My parents made the deal when I was just nine. She’s from a wealthy family. Her parents and my parents have been friends and business partners for years.”_

_He stared at Erwin but the other was not looking at him. Instead, his blue eyes were trained off in the direction of the window but not really seeing, lost in thought. Levi felt cold and not just because he was naked._

_“I’m to finish high school, enter a prestigious university and earn my degree in business. I am to marry her after I finish my studies and work in my father’s company until I have enough experience to join the family business.”_

_Levi said nothing. He had been expecting this. And yet, hearing it being said out loud by Erwin’s voice… it hurt. Despite knowing that things were too good to be true, silently, he had hoped. He had prayed that maybe for once, things will go his way. Maybe, Erwin would choose him._

_“I know,” he said instead because it was true and it hid how shaken he was in the inside. “I wasn’t under the delusion that we’re in a relationship or that I’m special.”_

_Erwin stared at him, young boyish face and blue eyes crushing his chest that it hurt to breathe. “You are though,” Erwin told him._

_He shook his head pretending to not understand._

_“Special,” the other clarified._

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2:00 am

Levi stumbled into the room, feeling like his body just got ran over by a freight truck. The room was dim and it made it just that much harder to find his indoor slippers and walk to his bed. As he debated whether to forgo hygiene just this once and just collapse on the sheets, his eyes caught the sleeping form of his roommate. He paused, watching how peaceful Eren’s face was.

Without warning, his knees finally gave out and he fell on his ass on the floor. Levi winced at the pain but did not bother to get up. He sat in the darkness wondering how he got his life this fucked up in all sense of the word. There was a lot of rethinking and remorse but he had always lived his life knowing that no matter how hard he tried to plan, shit will always hit the fan and he could only make decisions based on what he knew he could live with. Giving his tuition money to his scumbag uncle and possibly getting his private scholarship almost definitely revoked was something he knew he could live with.

Levi shrugged his jacket off and slowly made his way to the bathroom. As he stripped and let the hot water run on his body, he almost felt better again. The dull pain in his ass was bearable though the ghost feeling of Erwin in him still made him wince. Keeping Erwin around despite knowing that their time together was coming to an end, that Erwin will leave him and vowing to start cutting ties, little by little to save himself from future pains…

He laughed. Letting the person you vowed to let go fuck you twice in two hours was a lousy way of keeping that vow. And yet, just dropping Erwin from his life, could he really do it? Was it really going to do him any good? Whether he kept his distance or not, he knew he could never save himself from the inevitable pain that was coming when Erwin finally drops _him_. And he knew, deep within him, not touching or kissing Erwin, Levi could _not_ live with that.

His body and mind were tired as he lay on his bed in fresh clothes and warm blanket but sleep won’t come. He turned his head to the side to see Eren snoring lightly, drool slipping from the side of his mouth and he caught himself laughing softly. The kid was well off, just like most people in this school were, but Levi had come to know that the brat was actually not so bad. He was irritatingly noisy and he was especially annoying once he seemed to have lost that fear he initially had for him after their first meeting but Levi found that Eren’s presence was relaxing, making this room feel like a sanctuary from all his shit outside.

He was suddenly reminded of hot summer days at the beach years ago, way before he met Erwin in high school. He remembered playing with two other children, a boy and a girl, while he waited for his mother to come back from her work. The other kids didn’t want to be around him, their parents spreading nasty lies about his mother, so when they came over and asked his name, he was very surprised.

Farlan and Isabel. He had never forgotten those names. Back then he was taller than them, being a few years older. Their parents worked at a factory in the city and just like him, they would wait around for them get back at night only, Kuchel’s work made her unable to go home even after Farlan and Isabel had eaten what Levi made them for dinner and their parents had come to fetch them.

He knew what the neighbors thought of his mother and he knew what she did to get such reputation. Being a single mother with no other family to help her raise him meant Levi had been to her workplace several times and had seen what she did there to put food on the table. She kept him out of the place if she could, especially when the owner had seen him once and offered to take him in. Kuchel had been so furious and never allowed Levi back there again. So he played big brother to Farlan and Isabel, trying to forget about the way those men treated his mother’s thin body.

“I wish you were really our big brother,” Isabel once said. “Your cooking is better than our mom’s.”

Farlan told her off for criticizing their mother’s cooking but he agreed, asking him again to read the story book his father gave him but couldn’t read himself yet.

Eren’s loud snore and messy hair on the other bed made him feel warm. Had Kuchel not taken him to another place, he could have stayed friends with Isabel and Farlan, he was sure of it. And maybe, they would be just about Eren’s age too, Isabel a bit younger. Eren’s personality, his nosiness and determination reminded him so much of them.

“Won’t you lend me some of your dumb determination now?” he asked softly in the darkness. “I can’t make Historia straight and like you, but I can help you pass some classes.”

Eren remained motionless in his bed.

Levi sighed and closed his eyes, his mind swirling with thoughts of the past and his worries about the future. He waited until darkness finally claimed his consciousness.

\-------------------------------------

Eren and Armin were having breakfast at the cafeteria when his phone alerted him to a message. He quickly checked it and a smile slowly spread across his face.

“Who is it?” Armin asked curiously.

“It’s my dad,” Eren answered as he typed a quick reply. “I called him last night for a favor but it was already late so couldn’t do anything about it. He told me he’ll make the calls this morning and he just sent me a message with good news.”

Armin looked confused. “What favor exactly?”

Eren slipped his phone into his pocket. “Well… I asked him if his friends or colleagues know of any university scholarship programs that offers financial assistance to students here and he found his friend’s company offering just that.”

“That’s great, Eren,” Armin said. “But who is it for?”

Eren scratched the back of his head before he answered. “It’s for Levi. He got into trouble with his current one so he might lose it so I thought, you know, that maybe I could help.”

“That is so nice of you, Eren!” Armin exclaimed, looking genuinely happy and proud of him. “I think Levi will be happy when he hears of this.”

Eren smiled. “I hope so. He’s the kind of guy who wouldn’t usually want other people’s help but I really hope he accepts it. The deal is as good as done anyway.”

There was a bounce to his steps as Eren made his way to his art class later that afternoon. Armin was able to meet him again for lunch at the Zoe Café earlier. He was eager to share the news to Levi whom he hoped was working a shift. However, it was Mike behind the register that afternoon. Eren was a bit disappointed but he figured he’d see Levi anyway by tonight.

He stepped into the classroom and scanned the area. Connie wasn’t there yet so he walked to one of the chairs in front before taking his sketch pad from his bag and mounting it on the desktop easel on his table. The front of the class which was usually occupied by a wide table that held the various things they had to draw in the past few months such as fruit bowls, statues, hand models, and plants, had been cleared. A raised platform was now in place and on it was a white chaise lounge with some pillows piled at one side. A silky dark copper cloth was draped on the backrest and onto the seats, ending at the edge of the lounge, hanging slightly.

“You’re early,” Connie greeted as he took the seat beside Eren. Eren smiled back at him and then Connie’s attention moved to the setup in front. “Wow. Are we drawing porn today?”

Eren chuckled. “You know what? That might be a possibility,” he said.

“Oh yeah!” Connie said, eyes wide. “Whole body sketch, remember? Mrs. Richards told us.”

Eren shrugged, looking at his phone. Maybe he could text him? There are too many details though that needed explaining

“I hope it’s a hot girl, with huge tits,” Connie muttered dreamily as he too set his sketch pad on the mini easel.

“Wouldn’t that make things harder?” Eren commented but Connie waved him off, telling him to count the number of circumstances that one could look at boobs and not get judged. “If you could handle looking for hours without popping one down there, then you won’t get judged,” he countered.

More people were starting to come in, filling the empty seats and as Mrs. Richards, a sweet plump old woman, walked in, the students settled into silence. She was wearing one of her colorful knitted scarves again and a red beret on her brown curls.

“Good afternoon, everyone,” she greeted them and they all greeted back.

Eren had always thought of a kind and artistic grandmother whenever he saw her in class. He was a bit worried coming into class for the first time before as he had no artistic prowess whatsoever. It was just his luck that she all asked them to draw face portrait of hers so she could give them all an assessment of their drawing skills. Eren was nervous because no matter how much she looked like she looked like she baked pies for orphans, he only picked this class for experience and it will show. Mrs. Richards only chuckled though when she saw Eren’s butchered rendition of her face on his sketch pad and told him he had put in some nice strokes.

“Today, we’re going to be diving into a big one,” she said excitedly. “Now sketching the human body could be quite tricky but I want you to remember the basics that we have talked about and use it here. We’ll be working on a male model today. He will be nude so I’m expecting everyone to be polite and focus on your work.”

As she explained what they were going to do, Eren finally caught a figure wearing a white bathrobe sitting at the back. His eyes widened in shock at seeing who it was. Levi stood and walked to the front when Mrs. Richards called him. There were a few quiet giggles and mutters among the students, particularly from their female classmates.

“Hey, isn’t that…” Connie muttered beside him.

The sound in the room was suddenly tuned out and Eren watched as if in slow motion as Levi slipped the robe off revealing a pale, lithe body that looked strong instead of fragile. Mrs. Richards helped him position himself on the lounge, reclining on the pillows at the left end. His right hand was resting at his side, relaxed and palm down. His left arm was rested along the top of the back rest, index finger almost pointed and touching the top of his left knee which was bent. His right leg lay straight down the length of the chaise lounge. Mrs. Roberts draped a sliver of the silky cloth over Levi’s groin to shield most of his private but everything else, all the lines of his body was exposed.

“Why don’t you try turning your head this way dear,” she said as she angled Levi’s head sideways on the pillow so that he was facing the class with his neck exposed on a slender but relaxed stretch. The dips of his skin between his collar bones and the muscles running under the side of neck were all clearly visible through his skin. “That’s it. Perfect!”

As if fate wanted to take his suffering further, the angle at which Levi’s head was resting directed his gaze directly at Eren. A flicker of recognition flashed in those gray eyes but it was only for a second. Eren saw him take a deep breath and his face was relaxed again. He looked almost bored as he stared at Eren. Eren really didn’t mind the view right now, the vision of Levi fully naked and lying on his back was, dare he say it, _glorious_ to say the least, but Eren found his face hot and unable to look back at his roommate.

“Now I want you to pay attention to the lines of his body,” Mrs. Richards said. “Try to capture the natural flow of the shapes, the lines of muscles, bones, and tendons that are visible on the skin. Our model is quite fit so you can make out those details easily. I want to see them on your sketches.”

Eren gulped as he retrieved his supplies. Pencil in hand, he found that he couldn’t move. He looked at Levi again but quickly averted his eyes when he found him staring right back at him.

“I thought that guy was going to be skin and bones,” Connie whispered as he started to draw, unaware of Eren’s predicament. “But wow, he’s definitely… not ripped but. How should I say it...”

_Beautiful?_

“Yeah,” Eren muttered, staring at the blank sheet in front of him. Levi didn’t have to look specifically at him which meant he saw how Eren reacted and he was playing with him. This wouldn’t do.

Eren close his eyes and took a few deep breaths. Levi was lying there, bored and had almost two and a half hours more of down time which resulted to him teasing his younger roommate but Eren had enough. When he opened his eyes, stunning green orbs were staring back at gray ones unflinchingly. He held the gaze for a moment before finally, Levi blinked and turned his gaze somewhere to Eren’s right. There was profound sense of self-satisfaction that ran through him at that so he savored it for a few seconds before going back to his task. He allowed his eyes to roam the expanse of Levi’s body and began to sketch, starting with the guide marks that they had talked about in class.

For next thirty minutes, Eren’s eyes flickered back and forth between the paper and Levi after which, their professor allowed his roommate a break to move around a little bit to relieve his muscles. The tension and giddiness of the class brought forth by the excitement of a nude model slowly dissipated by then and everyone was focused on tracing Levi’s body with their pencils.

Soon, it was over. Mrs. Richards told them that they will be continuing next time and they will be having Levi for the next three sessions so they better finish by then. She helped him into his robe after and a few students lingered in front with them, asking questions. Most of them were trying to engage Levi into conversation but he only looked uncomfortable and not wanting anything else other than to bolt.

“Hey, prof,” Eren suddenly called, getting the attention of Levi, Mrs. Richards, and the small group that crowded them, “janitor says we have to clear the room now. Something about short circuits and rats?”

“Oh dear!” she exclaimed and hurried everyone along, leaving Levi in peace.

When everyone had left, Eren stood by the door while Levi relaxed and slowly got his duffle bag from the back of the room.

“Just lock the door,” Eren called to him as he began to step out of the room. “I’ll hang an out of order sign so.”

Levi stared at him before the corners of his mouth pulled into a small yet unmistakable smile. “Appreciated, brat,” he said.

Eren could feel himself blushing but pushed his embarrassment away. He nodded at Levi in acknowledgment and then quickly closed the door behind him.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	6. Stronger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren tells Levi about the scholarship. Erwin gives Levi a ride to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Erwin x Levi

6

“Tch”

The shadow had been under the door for quite some time now but Levi made no move to open it or call the stupid brat he knew was standing just outside. Eren almost always got back to their room at the end of the day first so when Levi came in and found the room empty, he knew the brat must still be out there acting silly and weird.

Sure, he was also surprised when he found Eren in the class where he modelled in, not expecting anyone he knew to be there, but he quickly got over it. He didn’t really mind doing that kind of job. He had been a substitute model since last year and it paid well for not doing anything at all. What he thought was going to be another three-hour snooze fest turned out to be interesting when he saw just how adorably embarrassed his roommate was. Who would have thought that the rowdy and noisy brat would actually act like a prude with a little male nudity? It was only natural then for him to keep his eyes on the brat, enjoying how he tried and fail to focus or even look at him, the supposed subject of his drawing.

But then things changed quickly. As if flipping a switch, Eren was suddenly not flustered anymore. Stunning green eyes pierced his from a distance and the intensity in them made him look away. He had noticed how nice those eyes were before but he apparently hadn’t paid enough attention. It caught him by surprise, the sudden shift, and made him feel like he was staring at a completely different person.

That said person however, was not the same one as the idiot standing outside. Levi really had bigger things to worry about at the moment.

Unable to stand the ridiculousness of the situation anymore, he stood and as quietly as he could, approached the door before suddenly opening it to reveal a terrified looking Eren, his usually warm skin drained of any color.

“H-Hey!” he greeted Levi with a nervous smile, “I just got back.”

Levi rolled his eyes and moved back to his bed to make way for the idiot to change his shoes. Didn’t Eren win their stare him down in art class? Levi guessed he was just back to his normal self. “Just got back my ass. Are you that embarrassed with seeing me naked?”

The blush on those lightly tanned cheeks were burning obvious and as if that wasn’t enough, Eren couldn’t look at him in the eyes.

“Seriously,” Levi said with a snort and then an evil smirk slowly spread on his lips. “What are you, Jeager? A blushing virgin? Haven’t seen a cock before?”

Eren glared at him though the blush remained. “Shut up!”

“Ohoho,” he continued to mock. “Little brat gets embarrassed by a little skin. Tell me, have you never seen that thing hanging between your legs?”

“Fuck you”

Levi laughed evilly. “Or maybe, it’s so short that seeing a decently sized one terrified you?”

Eren looked like he was absolutely going to defend the size of his equipment but thought better of it, looking away instead with an amusing mix of angry embarrassment on his face.

“Geez, calm the fuck down kid,” Levi said finally taking pity on him and dropping the malicious tone. “And people think I’m the angry one in this room? Tch.”

“Don’t call me kid. You’re not much older _and_ I’m taller than you.”

“Watch your tongue. I can still end you.”

Despite the harsh words, Eren’s shoulders and face relaxed but slightly tensed again when Levi moved closer to ruffle Eren’s hair roughly. Levi smiled in amusement as Eren allowed him to do so, trying to hide a pleased smile but failing. It reminded Levi of a cute dog.

“I didn’t know that you also do that,” Eren said, finally finding his voice again.

“What? Pose naked for art class?” Levi asked and Eren blushed again. He laughed again, giving Eren’s hair another tousle before saying, “I’ve been doing so since last year. The university looks for models every year for such classes and usually, broke people like me get the job. Pays well though so I kept at it but I’m just a substitute since I already have a job at the café. Maybe I’ll do that fulltime now since my schedule will be very open in the near future.”

Eren nodded, trying to act normally even though his face was warm and butterflies kept churning in his gut every time Levi touched his hair. It didn’t help that he had been wracking his brain for a way to say what he said next. “Hey, Levi. Speaking of your scholarship, I have something I want to tell you. I would have called you but I thought it was better if tell you in person.”

Levi’s eyebrow shot up. “What is it, brat?”

Eren looked nervous but also very excited at the same time. “I talked to my dad about your situation and he wants to help. He has a lot of friends. He knows a guy who knows a guy and, well, he found you a new scholarship,” he said.

For a moment, Levi froze as he processed what the other was saying. “What?”

“Well technically it isn’t really yours yet,” Eren explained hurriedly. “You have to give your formal application and the requirements but I already gave your name and GPA. Those were on the letter you showed me so I thought you wouldn’t mind if I shared them. Then they’re going to schedule an interview but my dad said it can be done online… Levi?”

Levi blinked and continued to stare at Eren like his hair had suddenly turned neon pink. “You helped me find a new one,” he said softly.

He was so ready to lose it all, granted it would only be for the next one to two semesters, but Levi was already resigned to having to stop attending school and move out of this dorm to put his life plans on hold. He had already been thinking about where to stay for the next months after this semester ended and how to look for a new source of funding to continue his education at the earliest possible time. He let out a big sigh of relief as he collapsed on his bed, feeling like his shoulders were suddenly so light. His eyes were getting hot so he looked at the ceiling and casually wiped them before any embarrassing liquid showed.

Eren was looking at him with such soft eyes. He retrieved a sheet of paper from his bag and walked towards Levi with the biggest smile. He placed one arm over Levi’s shoulders as he sat down next to him, handing the paper which contained the details of the said scholarship.

“You have to send your application by tonight,” Eren told him as he squeezed his arm. Sitting side by side like this made him realize just how much taller the brat was than him.

Without warning, he grabbed Eren’s head and caught it an arm lock, much like how he did before. “You little shit,” he muttered before giving his head a noogie.

“No! Ow! Hey, cut it out! Levi!” Eren yelled as he tried to break himself free but Levi’s grip was strong. He decided to let Levi’s arms go and focus on his legs instead, pushing himself backwards and taking Levi down with him. The shorter man loosened his hold and ended up smacking face down on Eren’s chest.

Eren didn’t move, staring at the top of Levi’s head. His hand was still resting on Levi’s lower back and at a split second decision, let himself tighten his hold. Levi pushed himself off of him, hands on either side of Eren. When he was fully seated, Eren’s hand slipped down a little but he kept it there.

“Is this for real?” he asked suddenly. The weight of the other’s arm around him was foreign but he found he did not mind.

“Yes, definitely.”

“Did you have to ask your dad to pull some strings?”

Eren gave him a sly look while still lying on his back. “I might have,” he relented.

Levi smirked, looking over the print out again which he knew Eren printed out from his own printer. He let relief wash over him and he smiled down at Eren. “You little shit. I could kiss you right now,” he muttered. He was so used to having to work for everything by himself that such help felt surreal to him and still hadn’t sunk in yet.

Eren suddenly froze. Levi stared down at him, wondering if the other suddenly got constipation but he was immediately off the bed before he could see his face.

“So then! We better get that application in!” Eren said enthusiastically as he quickly walked over to Levi’s laptop, tapping the touchpad to wake it up from standby. “No time to waste!”

Levi snorted and walked over to his chair. He pulled up a blank document and got typing, Eren hovering behind him for a few moments before moving to stand almost beside him and watching the screen over his shoulder. Somewhere along the way, Levi gave Eren his email address so the taller one can forward the email from his father. From there, it was a breeze. Levi had done this dozens of times before that he already clicked ‘send’ just after thirty minutes.

“Now all I do I have to do is wait,” he told Eren.

“It’s as good as yours. My dad swore on it,” the other said.

Levi stretched, feeling the worry that had been weighing on him slowly evaporating. It felt weird to be handed something so big and so out of the blue. It was a bit uncomfortable but surprisingly, it was pleasant for the most part. He was going to sleep like a baby tonight. “You didn’t have to do that though,” he said.

Eren looked away missing the fond smile Levi gave him. “It’s not a big deal. I was just trying to help. I wanted to.”

“I hope you didn’t trouble people too much with this,” Levi said. “Especially your dad. I am grateful and I thank you but I don’t want to cause anyone any inconvenience. I’m serious.”

“Don’t sweat it. My dad was more than happy to know that I’m doing something nice instead of getting into fights.” Eren smirked, looking extremely pleased when Levi cracked a small smile. “If you really feel bad about it though, then I get two favors from you now,” he said.

“You know what, whatever,” Levi snorted. “It’s not like you’re going to ask me to murder someone or make me suck your cock so I don’t care.”

Eren’s eyes widened comically and Levi couldn’t pass up the opportunity. “You were going to ask me to kill someone afterall? Oh brat, I thought you were pure.”

“No! That’s ridiculous, I don’t want to kill anyone!”

“Oh, suck your cock then?”

The red that settled on those cheeks were adorable and reminded him of Isabel whenever he and Farlan teased her.

“I’m not… fuck! Stop making fun of me!”

“You make it so easy though,” Levi said, “Relax. I know you’re not gay. You like Historia. Heterosexuality established. Congratulations.”

Eren glared at him. “I told you she’s not my type,” he said.

“Your secret is safe with me, sweety. Don’t worry,” Levi returned, ignoring Eren’s eye roll. Levi reached out, giving Eren’s hair one last ruffle as he said, “Seriously though, Eren. Thank you.”

A sharp giddy energy was pleasantly electrocuting Eren’s insides. He smiled, hoping that it didn’t look as goofy as he knew it was, all hopes of acting cool at that moment gone. “You are welcome,” he said. “You’re working hard so you have to try to let other people help you sometimes, to help yourself.”

\----------------------------------------

Old habits die hard. That’s what Levi thought when he found himself in a familiar situation at the backseat of Erwin’s car.

Levi cursed himself repeatedly in his head as he grinded down against Erwin’s lap, feeling the thick bulge in the blonde’s pants as they kissed, tongues dancing in and out of each other’s mouths. Erwin’s eyes were closed, brows knitted in concentration as he guided Levi’s waist in a circular motion. He squeezed those plump cheeks before massaging them then running his hands up and down the meat of Levi’s thighs, squeezing them slightly before going up again to that small waist.

They weren’t supposed to be doing this on a Tuesday afternoon in an empty parking lot when Erwin was supposed to be in class ten minutes ago and Levi was going to be late for his shift at the café. Erwin was just supposed to drive him there, drop him off and then go straight to class. However, Erwin found himself thinking about the last time they went to the hotel together and his hand ended up rubbing Levi’s inner thighs instead of the gear stick. He had always found Levi to be extra attractive in his café uniform but then the shorter man completely snapped his self-control in half when instead of stopping him, Levi’s legs fell open while his breathing became louder. He continued his ministrations as he quickly made a sharp turn, finding a secluded area where he can have his way with the other man. After parking the car, Erwin immediately unlocked his seatbelt and opened his door, transferring to the backseat in a blink of an eye before pulling Levi towards the back, positioning him on his lap.

“I’m going to be late,” Levi said breathlessly when he pulled away from the kiss. His eyes were slightly rolling back into his head as Erwin started grab his clothed cock with one hand and then forcefully rubbing his fingers against the cloth of his pants in the area between his ass cheeks, trying to finger him through the material, teasing.

“I’m _already_ late,” Erwin told him in a voice that said he didn’t care. “I want you.”

Levi bit his lip as the taller man started to undo his belt and then his pants. “I’ll take them off. I might get them dirty.”

Erwin smirked as he helped him do just that. After a few seconds of consideration, Erwin removed Levi’s white button down as well. Levi was completely nude as they undid Erwin’s pants, pulling it down with his boxers to free his cock, already hard and leaking. Erwin quickly retrieved a packet of lube from his glove compartment, tearing it open with his teeth and squeezing a generous amount on his fingers. He gripped Levi by the waist before starting to finger him open, making Levi moan. Levi grabbed the lube from him and proceeded to coat Erwin’s cock under him, rubbing it up and down and making it harden even more.

“Fuck,” Erwin cursed hotly as he dug his fingers into Levi, thrusting in and out the tight hole while enjoying the feeling of Levi’s hands on his cock. “I don’t have anymore condoms.”

“You’re saying that _now_?” Levi muttered, breaths becoming ragged as Erwin continued to finger him. “Fuck it. Just put it in.”

“Okay,” Erwin agreed without hesitation.

He quickly withdrew his fingers and grabbed Levi’s waist, guiding it down to sink onto his waiting cock. Levi panted harshly against his ear as he sat, taking each inch much faster than he would normally do until he finally felt Erwin’s balls touching his ass. They paused, savoring the sensation of being finally joined.

“We have to be quick,” Erwin said and Levi nodded.

Without warning, Erwin started to bounce Levi on his lap, using his grip on his waist to lift him up before letting him fall on his cock, pulling him down by the waist. Levi moaned, completely unprepared for the sudden onslaught on his prostate. He tried to keep up, planting his feet on either side of Erwin to get some leverage as he was continuously bounced but one of his legs kept slipping.

“Erwin,” he panted, hanging on to Erwin’s shoulder for dear life as the other went at it without pause.

The car was definitely shaking from the outside now that if there was anyone who had the misfortune to walk by, they’d know exactly what was happening inside. The shaking of the car intensified as Erwin thrusted up to meet him every time Levi was about to go down, burying himself deeper each time.

Soon, Levi felt like he was close. Erwin’s breaths were harsher and his hold on his waist tighter, both signs that he was nearing his limit too. “Don’t… inside… fuck!”

Erwin cursed, wishing they had more time but nodded. Levi came first and he was able to capture most of his semen with his handkerchief. He let Erwin continue to thrust into him while he tried to get his breath back. It didn’t take long. Erwin thrusted three more times and then he was coming.

“Shit,” he muttered as he pulled out from Levi’s ass and getting his semen on Levi’s thighs instead.

When the both of them were breathing normally again, Levi quickly got off Erwin to retrieve his pack of antibacterial wet wipes from his bag and wiped himself down. He would definitely have preferred a shower. He gave Erwin an unamused stare as he did so, to which Erwin responded with a sheepish grin.

“At least it’s not inside,” he told him which got him a well-aimed punch on the arm. “Hey!” he muttered but was smiling playfully as he too started to dress. “I could go for another round if I didn’t have class.”

“I have work, you know,” Levi said and proceeded to put his clothes back on. “And you’re already late anyway. Good luck Mr. Model student.”

Erwin chuckled. “My professor adores me,” he said and Levi knew he was right. Most people do. “And besides, what’s the point if you’re going to abandon me for your job?”

Levi decided to ignore him, focusing on smoothing down his clothes. Erwin might be a dick head, but that meant he was an even bigger dick head than him for ending up in this position again.

“I really wish we have more time. Fucking you in a hurry is almost a disrespect to your glorious ass,” he told Levi.

Levi rolled his eyes. “Or maybe, keep your hand to yourself when you’re driving.”

“You love it though.”

Miraculously, Levi had five minutes to spare when Erwin pulled up in front of the café. Levi was about to open his door when Erwin grabbed the sides of his face to plant a kiss on his mouth. Levi wiped his mouth with the back of his hand when they parted, glaring at the taller man.

“I’ll see you later?” Erwin asked hopefully.

“I don’t know, maybe,” Levi answered hastily before trying to open his door again.

“Levi”

He paused, hands already clasped onto the latch of the door. He looked at Erwin and his heart burned with hurt, seeing those blue eyes so sad and confused, all traces of his earlier playfulness gone. Without even asking, he knew that the other had felt it, how Levi had been more distant in the past months especially after the school year started. They were still intimate, had sex quite frequently but they both knew that something had changed.

Levi’s jaw tightened at the pleading look on Erwin’s face and he wanted to punch him so bad because there was no way a man as perceptive as Erwin had missed why Levi was trying to pull back.

“I’ll call you,” Levi said before getting off the car. He didn’t look at Erwin, didn’t even give him a chance to talk because then he would lose his resolve, he was sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s short but I had to cut the story here because the next part is relatively longer than the others.


	7. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A past mistake bites Eren in the ass. Historia helps.

7

As the first week of December rolled in, people started to think about the winter break and the promise of being free from university responsibilities for two whole weeks. Eren and Armin were told to come home for the break just as most of the other students. A big majority were going on ski trips for the holidays as well.

Armin was excited for the opportunity to see his grandfather again.

“We have family coming over for Christmas!” he told Eren excitedly over their coffee at the Zoe café one afternoon. “I haven’t seen my cousins in ages because they live abroad but they want to come visit this year.”

“That sounds nice,” Eren said. “Mikasa called me last night and she said she’ll be going home and try to persuade our parents to visit a beach for the holidays, like in Maldives or something. She kept me up talking about her new friend who knows how to surf and she wants to learn too.”

“I think she can do it,” Armin said.

“Most probably,” Eren agreed. His sister could almost anything she set her mind to which was a very annoying and frustrating situation to grow up in.

“Why not a ski resort though?” Armin wondered idly as he set his laptop beside his cappuccino. “Though I wouldn’t mind the sea too and the warm weather.”

“We went to one last year,” Eren said. “She ended that vacation with snowboarding skills good enough to compete, that overachieving monster.”

“That’s Mikasa, alright. It’s sometimes unfair how good she is with any physical activities.”

Eren snorted. “Says the young whiz,” he said.

“I’m not.”

“Armin, you are. Don’t fight me on this,” he told him. “Ugh, why do I have to be surrounded by gifted people?”

“Who’s gifted?” Hange asked, passing by their table with a tray of empty cups and dessert plates.

“Apparently, everyone but me,” Eren replied.

“I’m sure you’re gifted somewhere,” Levi said, clearing the table beside them. Eren automatically looked down on his lap and Levi snorted. “Not there though.”

Hange and Armin weren’t able to hold back their laughs and Eren glared at his roommate. “Haha,” he snapped back at him.

“Have you tried baking? Or gardening?” Levi asked him evenly before walking back to his station.

“Asshole,” Eren muttered darkly.

“I’m glad, Eren,” Armin said and at this confused look, said, “You seem to be getting along with your roommate now. You were so terrified of him before and now, you two joke around like friends. You totally misjudged him.”

“Yeah, he’s not so bad,” Eren said, looking at Levi who was now giving the empty queueing area a quick mop. “When he’s not being a royal _asshole_.”

Levi heard this and actually turned to give him a mocking bow making Eren smirk in response. Armin gave him a pointed look as if to say ‘see?’ before starting to type on his laptop. Eren glanced at the barista station again and caught a glimpse of Levi exchanging words with Hange and then he too was working, opening his book and starting to read, highlighters in hand.

They worked quietly for almost half an hour until Eren felt the stare of someone behind him. He glanced at the front to see Levi taking orders before looking back. It took some time for him to remember but the person staring at him was the girl he met at the night of the frat party. She was throwing glances at him while talking to two guys who were in the same table with her.

Eren decided that not acknowledging her was the best thing to do so he simply went back to his reading. He already forgot her name, hadn’t thought they’d ever see each other again. But then when he stepped out of the café to quickly buy a few supplies from the store across the street, it became apparent that _he_ wasn’t forgotten at all.

“What the fuck?” he muttered as the two men jumped out of nowhere and dragged him to the alley near the café before he even made it to the pedestrian lane.

They roughly pushed him onto the floor and he fell on the garbage cans, knocking them over with him in a loud crash. He landed on his hip and he groaned from the slight pain. From the corners of the dark alley, the girl whose name he couldn’t remember walked towards him.

“Remember me?” she asked wearing a triumphant smile.

Eren chuckled. “Honestly, I don’t but that will only make you angrier, won’t it?”

“Shut your mouth pretty boy,” one of the men, a tall, pimply guy, said and turned to the girl. “I can’t believe you got rejected by this loser.”

“Oh please,” she muttered incredulously, “I just thought his eyes were cute. I didn’t think he’s such a pussy and would just up and leave a girl. The nerve of some guys.”

The other guy, a slightly shorter man but with big body with arms as thick as Eren’s thighs, cracked his knuckles. “I won’t do that to you babe. Let me mess up this boy’s face so you can forget all about him. Let’s teach him some lesson on how to treat a lady ,” he said.

Eren stood, slightly wincing from pain, as the two men advanced. The alley was narrow and deserted. Behind him was a dark and filthy road that for all he knew, led to a dead end. He could run though and take the chance as the odds of winning a one-versus-two (possibly three) brawl was very low.

“Don’t even think about it,” she said when he saw him backing up. “The alley has a tall metal fence. You won’t escape through there.”

Eren glared at her and then at the two men slowly walking towards him. He could feel his body sweating, hyperaware in fight or flight mode. He clenched his fist and before anyone could blink, struck out, punching the shorter guy square in the face.

“Fuck!” the man exclaimed, holding his face in pain. “I’ll fucking kill you, boy!”

He angrily charged at Eren, making a swipe at him with his fists which missed and Eren took the opportunity to land another blow, this time with his other fist which connected to the man’s gut. He was about to follow it up with a kick when the taller man grabbed his arms and pinned them behind him painfully, making him yell in pain.

“He’s all yours man,” the guy behind him said and the other man quickly punched his cheek before nailing his stomach too.

Eren could taste blood in his mouth but the man was now unleashing an onslaught of punches on his torso. The man behind him was laughing and cursing and the girl who was standing at the side was cheering them on. He gritted his teeth and tossed his head back as forcefully as he could, hitting the man behind him on his nose hard. His grip on Eren slacked and Eren broke free. The buff guy lunged at him and it knocked him down to the filthy ground. His head felt dizzy, the man towering towards him slightly blurry.

“Fuck,” he muttered, bracing himself for pain.

“Hey. That seems hardly fair.”

Eren’s eyes widened in surprise, head clearing suddenly when he heard that voice. “Levi!” he exclaimed as his roommate walked towards them. He was still wearing his apron on. “How did you get here?”

“The café’s backdoor open to this alley, idiot,” he told Eren, wrinkling his nose when he saw the blood on Eren’s face, and then to his attackers he said, “You guys think you’re so high and mighty ganging up on a one person. Fucking disgusting. How about we make things a little more even and letting me join the fun eh?”

“Levi no!” Eren shouted. “Run! Call the police! Leave me alone!”

Both of the men laughed heartily as Levi ignored Eren and walked in front of him, shielding him from them.

“Who’s this? Your little boyfriend?” the taller one sneered at Eren before turning to Levi. “You think you can take us, little man?”

“Cute little apron by the way,” the buff guy snickered. “Will come in handy when you get all bloodied.”

“Calm your tities brat, this will be over soon,” Levi told Eren as he took on a loose fighting stance.

Eren groaned in frustration. Why did Levi have to be so stubborn?

“Ha! Big words, apron boy,” the taller one said and he smiled mockingly at Levi. “I’ll teach you some manners too, maybe I’ll even shove my cock down your little throat after I break your bo—n”

The man didn’t get to finish. In a flash, Levi nimbly stepped to the wall beside the man and jumped, kicking the bricks to propel himself upwards into the air and hit the man’s head with a clean round house kick, landing softly on his feet. The impact of foot meeting flesh was so audible that it made Eren wince. The man’s head flew to the side with the force and he dropped to the floor out cold. The muscled man took the opportunity while Levi had his back on him and lunged at him, screaming angrily.

“Behind you!” Eren shouted as he stood, trying to get to the man before he got to Levi.

“I’ll kill you!” the man cried as he grabbed Levi from behind but the smaller man was ready. He bent forward, clutching the man’s arm and shifted his weight from back to front and successfully throwing his attacker on the floor. Once he was down on his back, Levi kicked him at the side and then firmly planted his foot at the middle of his chest.

“You whimps!” the girl yelled angrily and Eren had never wanted to hit a woman before now. “You pathetic, useless oafs! How can you get your asses kicked by that freaking dwarf!?”

“Bitch,” Levi said calmly and she immediately shut up. “I don’t hit girls but if you keep running your mouth I _will_ make an exception. And don’t you dare run. The police are already on their way so face them later or face _me_ now.”

When she collapsed on the sidewalk, silently sobbing, Levi removed his foot from the man and walked towards Eren. “You look like shit,” he told him.

“I’m fine. Thank you for asking,” he muttered, spitting some blood to the side.

“Eren! Levi! Yoohoo!”

Eren and Levi looked up to see Hange on the window above the café, waving happily.

“Has Mike arrived?” Levi asked.

“Yep. He told Armin already. The police are coming too.”

“Thanks, glasses.”

“You know, Levi, you didn’t have to go so hard on them,” Hange said casually.

“I didn’t,” he replied, dusting his clothes off of invisible dirt. “Come on,” he told Eren, grabbing his arm and leading him to the back entrance of the café.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Eren and Levi gave their statements, the police allowed them to leave. Eren refused to go to the doctor to get a medico legal document in case he wanted to pursue a case but just looking at the crying girl, face messy with runny mascara and lipstick, he just didn’t want to see them again. He told the officers that his injuries weren’t too bad anyway and he would rather just go back to his dorm and forget everything. The girl, who at the end of the night remained nameless, were taken back to the station with her goonies. He thought about the possibility of the men going back to him for revenge but just a glare from Levi was enough to make them flinch. One of them lost a tooth while the other looked like he might have cracked some ribs.

Armin panicked when he saw Eren’s bloody face. He helped him wipe most of it, fussing and clearly frazzled but Eren assured him he was really okay.

“I just want to take a really long bath and pop some pain meds,” Eren told him.

Levi left with them to Rose Hall. Armin was still a bit worried when they parted at the lobby, wanting Eren to go to a doctor despite his insistence that he was fine. Levi wanted him to visit the doctor as well but did not push him, instead saying to Armin, “Don’t worry, Armin, I can patch him up no problem so just leave it to me. It doesn’t look like he will die soon but I will drag him to the hospital myself if needed.”

That put Armin’s worry to rest enough to allow Eren to go up to his room. As he and Levi stepped into the elevator, he saw his face in the steal wall and he could understand why his friend worried so much. The swelling on his cheek under his eye looked ugly and his busted lip was still bleeding. He tried to touch the swelling and flinched.

“Stop touching it, brat. You might get it infected,” Levi told him.

He sighed tiredly. “How come you call Armin by his name and I’m just ‘brat’?”

Levi smirked. “Because you are,” he said simply.

In their room, Levi pushed him to the bathroom so he can take a bath. He forgot to get his clothes before washing himself so after that, Eren stepped out with just a towel around his waist.

“Sit,” Levi ordered, pointing at Eren’s bed where a medical supplies box was already open and waiting.

“Don’t I get to put on clothes first?” Eren asked but he was already sitting down.

“Relax princess, I won’t look,” Levi said dismissively as he poured alcohol on his own hands and arms. “I’ll need you to strip your shit anyway. Now sit and let’s get this over with.”

Levi was still in his white button down and black pants, sleeves rolled up his arms. He settled between Eren’s legs, hand gently grasping Eren’s chin to turn his face from side to side, inspecting the damage. Eren grasped the blanket on his bed, the one that Levi lent him.

“Your cheek is a bit swollen but I don’t think the bone is broken,” Levi told him as he lightly tapped the said cheek. “And this lip is busted,” he continued and Eren felt a light touch on his lip. “I’m going to disinfect them and then we’ll ice them.”

Levi opened the bottle of disinfectant and poured some on a cotton ball. He proceeded to treating Eren’s wounds, hands gentle and soft despite how easily he had inflicted injuries much worse to Eren’s attackers. Eren swallowed thickly, the intense concentration and attention of those gray eyes on his skin making him feel unsettled and almost muting the pain.

“Hold this to your cheek,” Levi ordered when he was done, holding out an ice pack.

He then proceeded to inspect Eren’s torso, lightly touching and poking at the bruises and wounds on his chest and abs before checking his back too. Levi tch-ed loudly at seeing some wounds at his lower back and a huge, oval shaped bruise up near his right shoulder.

“Is it bad?” Eren asked.

“They got you good but you’ll live,” Levi said from behind.

Eren felt it when the other started to work on his injuries there. He would have gotten a more embarrassing physical reaction at being touched like this while technically being nude but the pain was keeping him in check, thankfully.

“Thank you, Levi, for saving me back there,” he said.

“Don’t mention it, brat,” the other replied. He then moved in front of Eren again, this time working on his chest.

Levi ended up between his legs again, stooping down a little so he could look closer at the injuries. Eren stared at the top of Levi’s hair as he felt those fingers move on his skin. The worst was whenever his roommate was applying the ointment, the sensation making his stupid mind go wild with ideas that he tried to shut out. After some time, Levi placed a hand on Eren’s bare, uninjured left shoulder for support as he continued to work with his other hand.

_I’m in pain. I am not excited. There’s nothing sexy about this. At all._

Eren nearly groaned when Levi’s hand which was perched on his shoulder, slipped down and lightly graced his nipple. He coughed to hide his embarrassment.

_Grandmas. Grandmas cleaning their dentures._

“Sorry,” Levi muttered, looking up from his lashes and then continuing on his task.

Eren shut his eyes tightly, screaming in his head that no, he didn’t want to sweep Levi’s hair away from his eyes, but was still unable to ignore the sensation of Levi’s fingers on his abs, applying the accursed ointment. He swallowed thinking about how this situation was pure torture, loving and hating it at the same time.

_Grandma kissing… Jean! Without dentures. Jean, naked!_

“I-I can do that myself,” Eren muttered, desperately hoping his voice was steady.

“It’s almost done.”

There was silence again and Eren felt it somehow made the situation more intimate. So he wracked his brain for something to say but he was apparently blanking out, his stupid brain coming up with nothing but a detailed mental image of what would happen if he were to pull Levi by the nape to close the few centimeters that was between them...

“Those fools,” Levi said suddenly. “Who were they?”

“The girl was… from a hookup that had gone bad,” Eren explained and Levi chuckled lightly. The sound made him relax and he continued, “The men I haven’t seen before. Though with how they were talking to each other, I think she got them to beat me up as pay back for what happened last time.”

Levi snorted as he retrieved another tube of ointment and went back to Eren’s injuries. “The fuck did you do to that poor girl for her to do this to you?”

Eren found himself smiling. “I just… well, we were going to hook up but then I changed my mind. Pissed her off I guess.”

Levi shook his head in amusement. “Cold feet?”

“Nah,” Eren replied, shaking his head. “I just realized… I didn’t want her. I want someone else and that person is… very different from her. When I compare them, I can’t even stand touching her.”

Levi’s hand paused for a second and Eren glanced at his face but his hair was covering his eyes from this angle. “I see.”

_Ask me_

Despite his heart pounding and his insides tumbling, Eren kept his eyes on Levi, waiting. When nothing followed, he couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed. He pushed the feeling away, instead changing the topic. “Where did you learn to fight like that?”

The instant snort and the easy gaze that Levi shot him at the questions both relieved and annoyed him at the same time. Levi looked like he was contemplating whether to share or not before saying ‘oh what the hell’ out loud.

“I’ve never had the easiest time growing up,” Levi explained as he started to wrap Eren’s torso with a bandage.

“How come?”

“What do your parents do?”

“My dad is a neurologist and is a part owner of a hospital,” Eren replied. “Mom’s a CEO.”

Eren thought that with how successful his parents were, just telling Levi about them seemed like bragging but Levi only nodded.

“I never knew my father. My mom was a prostitute since she was young, all that she ever knew to earn a living. She raised me alone while working. My dad is probably a random guy who knocked her up by accident. When you’re a scrawny little kid of a single mom who strips for a living, you can’t exactly count on people being decent to you. I had to learn how to fight.”

Eren didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry. I didn’t—a”

“Sob story, I know,” Levi said. “It’s not as bad as what you’re probably thinking. My mom was kind to me and so were her friends from work. She took care of me so that I’ll live a different life. She passed away when I was in high school though, no don’t say sorry, brat,” he interjected when Eren was about to interrupt, “almost all of our time together had been happy.”

Levi finished wrapping up the bandages in silence while Eren thought about what he just heard. No wonder Levi was so tough and independent. A life like his, it could only make or break a person, no in between. Despite what he said about having happy times living with his mother, their situation could not have been easy.

“Take this,” Levi said holding out a tablet of painkiller. “Just for you to sleep. Take one again before leaving for class but try not to if you can help it. Your injuries look like they will heal fast anyway. In case I’m wrong, wake me up and we’ll go to the hospital.”

Eren nodded as he drank the medicine, vaguely wondering why Levi seemed to always have the right medicine ready at all times. “Your medicine kit is always stocked huh?”

“When you fight, sometimes you lose,” Levi said meaningfully as he stored away his supplies. “Historia’s parents are coming this week right?”

“Yes, we already talked about it,” he replied and Levi nodded.

“Now put some clothes on and get some rest.”

Levi was walking to the bathroom when Eren suddenly felt like he wanted to say something. He wanted to reach out, feeling bold and excited. Like anything was possible.

“Levi”

“Hnm?” his roommate questioned, looking back.

Eren swallowed, breathing deeply and then just like that, his courage failed him. “Thank you.”

Levi nodded wordlessly and then walked in the bathroom.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Three days saw Eren’s injuries in much better condition. The pains had significantly been reduced. The wounds were scabbing and the bruises had turned into that nasty green shade when the body was finally healing itself underneath the skin. Levi helped him check the injuries every night especially the ones at the back. He also lent Eren his ice bag which he used every night to speed up his healing just in time for the dreaded lunch with Historia’s parents. By the time the day came, Eren’s face injuries had subsided with the remaining discoloration easily concealable by a little make up that Historia provided. It wouldn’t do to show up looking like he regularly had street fights.

Levi told him to dress nicely that morning so he went for his most formal shirt available, a brown button down and a pair of dark jeans. Levi approved but rummaged through his closet and pulled out a brown sweater. “Button your shirt all the way to the top and put this on,” he told him.

Eren did as told and he quite liked what he saw in the mirror. He looked taller and dressed up, and it also showed off his slender torso and shapely arms. Levi stared at him for while before combing his hair with his hands to sweep his fringe to the side. Eren tried to keep his breathing even as Levi fussed over him, exhaling a sigh of relief when his roommate finally stepped back with an approving look and telling him that he was ready.

Mr. and Mrs. Reiss reminded Eren of the people that his father would sometimes bring home for dinner or meet when Grisha and Carla took the whole family to company events and functions. Both of them screamed money from the car they drove to the campus to pick him and Historia up, their expensive clothing, their preference of food, and even the way they spoke.

Historia had squeezed his hand while they sat in the backseat of her father’s car, giving him a grateful and reassuring smile. He smiled back, hoping to match her confidence. He played his part well though, opened the door for Historia when they arrived at the restaurant downtown and pulled the chair for her at the table. Her parents were very pleasant people and Eren found it easy to talk to them, the topics they brought up being similar to those he had talked about with some of his parents’ friends. He made sure to comment neutrally and politely, complimented Mr. Reiss’ opinions on politics and Mrs. Reiss’ dress. The food was good and expensive but he found it difficult to enjoy when he thought about the situation.

When her parents finally dropped them off back at the campus, both willingly charmed by who they thought was their daughter’s boyfriend, Historia collapsed at one of the benches in relief.

“Thank you so much, Eren! I can’t believe we got through that!” she said.

He smiled. “It was quite easy. I just hope I did okay for your sake.”

“Are you kidding me? You were brilliant!” Historia said. “They love you. And my mother thought you look really handsome. Nice outfit and hair by the way.”

“Thanks,” Eren replied. “I’m not really a good dresser but, Levi helped me this morning. He’s the one responsible for that aspect of our success.”

She hummed, nodding as he gave him a meaningful look. “So… you two are friends now?”

“Sort of,” he responded. “He’s weird. He acts really rude most of the time but then he does these nice things out of the blue and it… catches me off guard sometimes.”

“I told you he’s a softie,” she said knowingly. “What did he do?”

“Just things,” he said uncertainly, thinking back on their past interactions. “He gives me food, lets me borrow his stuff… he even took care of me when he thought I had a hangover.”

“ _Thought_?” she asked.

“Well, it wasn’t as bad as he was thinking but somehow, he’s gotten this habit of treating me like some kid who needs help all the time,” he muttered, letting his annoyance show. “I mean, yeah, he did help me when I got into a fight one time and then treated my injuries like he’s my mother.”

“I don’t see why you’re complaining,” she said. “That’s Levi for you. He’ll say ‘fuck you’ and insult your new haircut but he’ll be cooking you soup and shoving down medicine down your throat if you get sick. You are _younger_ , right?”

“I don’t know,” Eren muttered, still annoyed. “And age doesn’t have anything to do with it. Maybe… I just wish that he could see me as someone he can rely on, you know? Not just some brat. It’s really annoying.”

“Oh my god,” Historia exclaimed looking at him with gleaming eyes. “Oh my god!”

“What?” Eren asked, getting more annoyed.

“You have a crush on him!”

“I do _not_!” Eren said. “What the fuck…”

“Oh my god, why didn’t I see this before?” Historia said excitedly, more to herself than Eren. “It all makes sense!”

“You’re wrong!” Eren insisted though he was blushing and unable to meet her eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re gay too?” she asked.

“I’m not gay,” he said quickly. “I’ve had a couple of girlfriends before…”

“So Levi is your first boy crush,” she concluded happily. “Oh Eren, you’re so cute!”

She was smiling like a maniac and Eren ignored her, glaring at the grass. When he refused to respond to any of her prods about Levi, Historia touched his shoulder.

“Hey, I’m sorry, okay?” she said. “I guess I forgot how it feels like to be attracted to someone of the same gender for the first time and realizing that part of yourself. But it really is cute though. There are a lot of cute guys in campus anyway so you can take your time to—”

“Only him”

“What?” she asked confused.

“Only Levi,” Eren said, cheeks red but eyes determined. “Anyone else, I don’t...”

Historia’s eyes widened at the realization of what Eren was saying. She smiled at him sadly and gave him a hug.

“Oh, Eren. Does he know?” she asked. When Eren remained silent, she sighed. “Of course he doesn’t.”

“It’s stupid, isn’t it,” he said as they separated, words just falling out of his mouth. “I’ve been so confused and these past months, I thought I was going insane. I didn’t know if I could tell anyone without being judged, not even Armin, which is weird but it felt like it was too personal? I just kept on trying to understand myself, why I’m feeling these things about him. I tried to fight it too but I just… I can’t stop thinking about him dammit! Even when he’s not around. I want to run away but at the same time, I want to spend as much time with him as possible. It’s so fucking stupid and just complicated...”

Historia gave him another hug, this one tighter. “Oh Eren. Levi… he isn’t… Him and Erwin…”

“I know that!” he exclaimed, tone almost angry but she didn’t flinch. “I’m so stupid.”

They fell silent. Though the wind was cold, the sun was out and shining brightly on the campus field. Fiery orange trees were losing their leaves. Eren’s thoughts drifted to Levi and what he and Historia talked about. Talking about it out loud made everything real now. His denial and confusion were still there. Levi was still unattainable. However, talking still somehow made him feel a little better.

“Thank you, Historia, for listening to me,” he said.

She smiled. “I know how it feels, Eren. I know exactly what you’re going through. I understand and I’m here if you need me so don’t hesitate to reach out.”

He looked at him gratefully, giving her hand a squeeze. “And please, can you keep everything a secret for now?”

“Of course,” she said. “But Eren, what are you planning to do? About Levi?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not even sure what my goal is. He’s taken anyway so I can’t really make a move. What I do know is that I just want to be with him. As a friend, a brat, a roommate… I don’t care.”


	8. Parting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter break has come. Decisions have to be made. Levi and Eren make theirs and they try to live with the consequences after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might be getting a work from home job soon.

8

The last remaining days before the break were hectic. The pressure of exams and submission of various requirements weighed on all of the students, or at least on2 those who cared. Armin, being one such student, always ended up in the library or their other usual spots to work and study. He pushed Eren as well which Eren was thankful for since he had been feeling stressed out and unmotivated. He knew he wasn’t going to get top marks or anything like that but he wanted to at least do enough to pass all his subjects to make himself feel accomplished.

It definitely didn’t have anything to do with impressing anyone.

“Hey Eren, have you finished the sketch?” Connie asked him. “We had our last session with Levi two days ago, right? But I’m not yet done. I still want to add a bit of shading so I’m not turning it in yet.”

Him, Armin, Connie, Jean, Reiner, and Marco were at Armin and Jean’s dorm room, cramming and trying to put as much studying in as they can.

“Yeah, I won’t either. Richards said we can bring it home anyway and pass it next term so I’m going to prioritize other things at the moment,” Eren replied.

Eren’s drawing of Levi was far from complete though. Whenever he had tried to finish it, he could not think of Levi’s naked body without getting worked up. It didn’t help that he might be having some vivid dreams involving the said model on that lounge and himself…

“I can’t wait for hell week to be over!” Jean muttered from over a thick stack of readings that looked like they have not been touched until now. “I’ll go home and then we’ll all be going to Hawaii. In fact, I’ve started some packing done.”

“That does sound nice,” Reiner agreed enviously.

“We’re just staying home for the holidays but I still want to go home,” Marco said. “I’ve also started packing.”

It was already eleven in the evening when Eren went up to his room, arms filled with books and stacks of papers. He accomplished a lot of things so far but a lot others still waited for him. He recalled his parents telling him to come home for the holidays and the day before yesterday, Mikasa called to share her triumph at moving the family trip this year to the beach.

He opened the door to the room and immediately saw Levi at his table, the surface of which was almost entirely covered with books, scraps of paper, and notebooks. This was the first time he had ever seen the man anywhere near disorganized. He stepped into the room and greeted ‘hey’ when Levi glanced at him.

“Hnm,” Levi greeted in return.

“So even you aren’t immune to hell week,” he commented as he settled on his own table.

“I work two jobs on top of maintaining my grade point average, so yes, brat, I’m fucking suffering like you normal people,” Levi snapped at him.

“Hey cool it,” Eren said, raising his hands.

Levi sighed, taking a moment to massage the bridge oh his nose. “It’s been a long day, sorry. Anyway, your food is inside that bag. Probably cold now though.”

Eren visibly brightened as he went for the paper bag he hadn’t noticed was on his table. He eagerly opened the container to find a giant tuna sandwich inside and immediately ate it. He was so busy these days that he would sometimes skip meals. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was.

“This is so good! Thank you!” he said as he took another bite.

“It was a lot better when it was hot,” Levi said.

“It’s okay. I was with my friends working on requirements and studying at Armin and Jean’s room,” he explained.

“I’ve never understood why people do that. Isn’t it more productive to work when there’s less noise and distraction?”

“People’s productivity depend on their moods and preference, I think,” he said. “I tend to slack off more if I don’t have people around me working sometimes. It motivates me to do the same. And taking breaks is fun since you have people to talk to.”

Levi shrugged. “I’m certainly going to enjoy the silence here next week.”

“Wait, what do you mean?” Eren asked, surprised. “You’re not going home for the holidays?”

Levi snorted. “I live alone, renting. Since I’ve been in university since last year, I’ve moved out of my apartment so I can save the money.”

Of course. Levi had told him that his mother, his only family, had died. Eren felt dumb for not realizing. “I didn’t know you could stay in the dorms over the break,” he said instead.

“Not all universities allow it but this one does.”

Eren nodded, processing the information quietly and moved to get ready for bed. Later when he was lying down, he saw a notification on his phone for a new message received. It was from Historia.

‘ _How are you?’_

Eren glanced at the foot of Levi’s bed where his roommate was still busy working. He was wearing an off-white pullover sweater tonight that looked like it had worn for years, the neckline growing wide and giving him a glimpse of Levi’s upper back, the swan like neck and almost dipping off of one shoulder. He typed in his reply with a deep breath.

_‘Suffering’_

He sighed, looking at Levi again. His roommate chose that moment to dip his forehead on his right hand, the movement jostling the sweater against its last hold before sliding down to reveal a pale shoulder.

_‘Hang in there!’_

Eren groaned, typing again.

_‘Oversized sweaters showing off bare shoulders should be banned from life. He’s trying to kill me.’_

Eren was glad he had someone to vent his frustrations and feelings about his roommate. Thinking about it, he found it ironic that Levi was the one who introduced him and Historia to each other.

_‘Oh Eren, you thirsty boy!’_

He couldn’t help the low chuckle at reading. He thought of a reply but another message came.

_‘It’s not a crime to look ;)’_

He sputtered a little, staring at the ridiculous wink at the end of the message. Historia shouldn’t be encouraging him to ogle a taken man despite how tantalizing he looked.

“Who are you talking to?”

Eren quickly buried his phone under his blanket and saw that Levi had pushed his chair to roll closer to Eren and was now staring at him suspiciously. He swallowed, noticing the very prominent line of his roommate’s collarbone. “N-no one.”

Levi raised an eyebrow, tilting his head slightly to the side. “I might not be hearing the words but the noises you’re making are enough to give me a good idea of what you’re talking about.”

Eren blushed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“When I said that you’re not allowed to do anything nasty in here, that includes phone sex, especially when you’re using my blanket.”

“I’m not having phone sex, you pervert!” Eren told him incredulously but the other only smirked. “I’m just texting Historia!”

Those were apparently the wrong words.

“You little shit,” Levi said accusingly.

“It’s not… We’re just—t”

Levi sighed. “Well, whatever,” he said dismissively. “Just make sure you know what you’re doing.”

Eren got up as Levi pushed his chair back to the table. “Historia and I are friends. We’re just texting.”

Levi breathed deeply again and considered Eren with a stern look which gradually softened. To Eren’s surprise, the other stood and walked over to him. He placed a hand on Eren’s shoulder before speaking.

“It’s none of my business, brat, I know that. And I’m not judging you, fuck knows I’ve done a shitload of fuckups myself,” he said, looking like he was thinking about the said fuckups. “You can’t help what you feel, I guess. It’s not your fault. But you know Historia’s situation, you’re not stupid. I guess what I’m just trying to say is, take care of yourself. You have to be careful because things… don’t always end well.”

There were so many things that ran in Eren’s mind, so many questions burning to be asked at that. What did you fuck up? Who hurt you? What happened to you? Where is this coming from? Why do you say things don’t always end well? But the one question that made it to his tongue was the one full of hope.

“Why do you care so much about what might happen to me?” Eren asked.

Levi’s hand left his shoulder. “I’ve seen you. That time after you went to lunch with Historia’s parents, I was waiting for you guys to return because I was anxious but then I saw you and I didn’t want to intrude. You were talking at one of the benches and I know it’s not my place to know what you’ve talked about but, you look hurt, brat. And I think I know how that feels.”

_You don’t._

“Not to sound sappy, brat, but I know you’re a good kid and you can make the right choices, the good ones, so I just hope you don’t let those emotions fuck with your head.”

_I do have feelings for a person who is already taken._

Levi gave his shoulder a soft punch, one he’d come to know as affectionate. “Hey,” he said. “Just, watch out and try not to do something stupid, you hear me? You’re like a little brother to me.”

_But it’s not Historia._

Eren gave him a small smile. “I’m know, Levi. Trust me. I’m trying hard to convince myself not to pursue the person I like and get in the way of that person’s relationship with someone else. Even if it hurts.” Slowly, he put his arms around the smaller form of Levi, moving to wrap the shorter man up in his arms. He waited for some sort of protest or rejection but it didn’t come. He closed his eyes as he allowed himself to bury his face into black hair. “But it’s so hard.”

Stiffly, he felt the other’s hands come up to hold him loosely around the waist and pat his back awkwardly. It was astounding how their bodies fit so well together, how right it felt to have Levi in his arms. He knew he shouldn’t have, couldn’t afford to get used to this but it was too late. He wanted to memorize this feeling in case this was the last time he’d ever get to be close to him. But Levi allowed Eren to hold him for as long as he wanted. Eren felt terrible for misleading him but at the same time, he never wanted this moment to end.

Slowly, reluctantly, Eren loosened his hold and Levi started to pull away. As they went back to their own corners, Eren could not think of anything but the feeling of having him in his arms. Levi had made it abundantly clear how he saw Eren and how these feelings were doomed the moment they began.

Later that night, Levi was already asleep in his own bed while Eren lay awake on his. He glanced at the other’s sleeping face before taking his phone out and typing another message to Historia.

_I just got brother-zoned._

\--------------------------------------------------------

On the last day before summer break, everyone’s spirits were considerably lighter as most, if not all, had already finished their exams and their attentions completely shifted to packing up and the long break. All of Eren’s friends were either going home or on trips. He couldn’t join the conversation though as he hadn’t answered his parents question yet of whether he’ll be coming home. He knew he’d probably be going home anyway but he didn’t feel like giving them any decisions yet.

“Why?” Armin asked incredulously when he told him about being undecided regarding the matter.

He shrugged carelessly, carefully choosing his words. “I don’t know… I feel like maybe I could go on a solo trip instead? Maybe drive to another city or something. I haven’t really decided yet.”

Armin stared at him hesitantly but then nodded. “As long you let your parents know. Did you tell Mikasa?”

“I did,” he said with a laugh. “She hated me initially but then she was cool with it.”

Armin smiled fondly. “She’s always been fond of you. I’m glad she understood though.”

“Yeah,” he answered. “I miss our high school days, you know? Us three, hanging around and such. Things were so much simpler back then, so much easier.”

Without warning, Armin pulled him by the hand to a more secluded part of the quadrangle and said, “I’ve been waiting for you to open up to me, Eren, but I can’t wait anymore. I’m leaving in a few hours. So before I leave, tell me, do you have feelings for Levi?”

Eren’s eyes widened in surprise, immediately looking around to make sure no one else heard. He stared back at Armin who was looking earnestly back at him, waiting. He shook his head, thinking if he should deny it. Heck, why should he? This was _Armin_. “Am I that obvious?”

“No you dummy,” his friend said with a smirk. “I’m just really smart and happen to be an Eren expert.”

“Seriously,” Eren muttered. First Historia and now Armin. If he was doing something so obvious then he better improve hiding it or Levi might figure it out too. “How did you figure it out? When?”

“I’m going to wager that I’ve figured it out faster than you did,” he replied with a smug smile. “Between you doing him favors like pretending to be his friend’s fake boyfriend, getting him a new scholarship, and stalking him at the café when you think no one is watching; you’ve always been interested with him since the first time you met him. It wasn’t that hard.”

He shouldn’t even have tried to keep a secret from Armin. “I have, haven’t I?”

“So you’re going to make a move?”

“I don’t know what I want,” he said truthfully. “And he’s with Erwin anyway…”

Armin’s eyes widened and then he was looking at Eren like he was hurting for him. “Then why the hell are you considering staying behind for the break?” Armin questioned. “Eren, you’re not even thinking about that solo trip, are you? That’s just your excuse. What the hell are you doing? This is the perfect time for you to distance yourself so you can think more clearly and take a break.”

“I know that, Armin, so save it,” he muttered suddenly annoyed.

“Eren,” Armin pleaded but stepped away to give him some room. “Please, I’m your friend. I’m just trying to look out for you. It’s your say in the end but I can’t leave without knowing that I have given you a well-meaning advice.”

Deep down, Eren understood. He knew, of course, that his friend was just looking out for him but it still made him feel angry. He knew he shouldn’t hope and he’s being stupid. But everytime he got that reminder after just hearing it from Levi’s own mouth not too long ago, he questioned why the world was so unfair. Why was everything and everyone against him?

“I know,” he said once his calm again. “I’m sorry.”

Armin nodded, giving his a firm squeeze on his shoulder. “I’m sorry too.”

They decided to have a final lunch at the Zoe Café before Armin had to leave later in the afternoon to catch his flight. Levi was at behind the register and Eren told Armin to order for both of them and his friend did, not needing to ask Eren why.

“Maybe I’ll go home afterall,” Eren said out of the blue in the middle of their meal. “You’re right, Armin. I need space.”

\---------------------------------------------------

By nighttime, Rose Hall was considerably quiet, having majority of its occupants already left for the break. Around less than ten people remained, most of them leaving by the following day too. One such person was Erwin Smith. He and Levi stood under the tree behind Rose Hall, Levi leaning against the trunk while Erwin smoked, standing beside him. The grounds were completely empty as snow fell gently on the grass, covering everything in white.

Erwin took a deep drag of his cigarette, staring at Levi beside him. He walked over to him, placing both hands on either side of Levi against the trunk and then leaned down to capture his lips. Before their mouths touch however, Levi turned his head away.

“We’re outside,” Levi muttered. “And you’re smoking again.”

Erwin placed his cigarette between Levi’s fingers before putting his hands on the sides of Levi’s face. “The building is almost empty. And if anyone sees, I don’t really care,” he said and swooped down to claim Levi’s mouth.

This time, Levi did not protest. He put one of his hands on Erwin’s nape, pulling him down against him and opening his mouth for Erwin’s tongue while his other hand tried to hold on to the cigarette. Erwin hummed into his mouth, pleased at his action. It was quiet outside without the usual noise of the students. Their soft moans and the slick, sucking sounds they were making mingled with the cold wind and the rustling of trees, mostly branches bare of leaves.

Levi savored the familiar taste of Erwin tainted by the strong smell of cigarette. He whined lowly when he felt hands on his ass that he almost missed the sharp sound of a branch snapping under someone’s foot in a distance.

“Someone’s here,” he said breathlessly after pushing Erwin away.

“Let them see,” Erwin muttered before capturing Levi’s mouth again, more aggressively than before.

“No,” Levi said as he pushed him again, this time stepping away to put more distance between them. “I didn’t call you for that.”

Erwin wiped his mouth with his hand and retrieved his cigarette from Levi. “What then?”

Levi took his time to breathe. “I want to talk to you.”

Erwin snorted like he had been expecting it. The cigarette he had was already almost gone so he tossed it aside. He pulled out another one from his pocket and lighted it. “Go on.”

“This has to stop,” Levi began and with a more steady voice, he continued. “I won’t do this with you anymore.”

The taller one laughed mirthlessly. “Is this your way of punishing me?” he asked, voice laced with bitterness. “You’re getting back at me because of the past.”

“Fuck you!” Levi spat. “You know damn well that’s not the case! Don’t you dare turn this on me. I’m the one that got the shorter end here. The past is still fucking _now_.”

Erwin suddenly walked to him, grabbed him by the shoulders. “What would you have me do?” he asked, shaking Levi who was glaring at him in return. “What? You know that I don’t have a choice, Levi. My hands are tied.”

Levi forcefully shoved Erwin away, freeing himself. “And what would you have _me_ do? Lie around waiting for you to call me? Pretend everything is fine until one fucking day, you just disappear to do what you are told like a good fucking boy? No. I’m done. I can’t be your secret, Erwin Smith. I won’t.”

“You’re not going to be my secret,” Erwin insisted.

Levi snorted mockingly. “Like I’m not already.”

“I thought you understood me. More than anyone, I thought you knew what I’m going through!”

“I’m tired, Erwin,” Levi said breathlessly. “I can’t keep this up anymore. I’ve had enough. You know this was coming. I have to… help myself now.”

“Let’s talk about this,” Erwin said pleadingly then took out two tickets from his coat pocket. “Look. I got us flights to Paris. We’ll celebrate your birthday there. Levi, please. Come with me.”

Levi stared at the plane tickets and then at Erwin. He shook his head. “I can’t do this,” he said and then hastily walked away, ignoring Erwin’s calls. When he was several meters away, he mustered his courage to give Erwin one final look, bracing himself for the face of Erwin showing his anger, disappointment, and feeling of betrayal of Levi.

“This is the end. Don’t contact me anymore.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

The library was completely deserted. Levi walked down the shelves before collapsing on the floor, unable to keep the tears from falling any longer. He had made his decision, same way that Erwin had made his own, years ago. He had to be strong. He had to abide by his decision no matter what.

And yet, Erwin’s devastated face kept coming up in his mind. His voice kept replaying as he begged Levi not to leave him, to go with him to Paris. He was then reminded of the time in high school when his mother died, how Erwin was the one who helped him organize the small funeral, how he was always there for Levi every night when he cried and couldn’t sleep. He remembered how Erwin would always look out for him when other people were being mean, or judged him and his mother.

“No,” he muttered softly, openly crying now. He couldn’t think about those. Not now.

The things they went through as childhood friends before becoming what they were now, they never took away the fact that they were still inevitably leading to this moment. He had to be strong and not give in. Erwin will leave in the morning and the dreaded parting of ways would start. He chose this. There was no going back now.

Levi scrunched up his eyes, gripping his arms before letting out a loud sob. He had to be strong but it hurt so much and eventually, he gave in. He allowed himself to cry without restraint. He let the tears fall freely. There was no one to see him.

After hours and hours, he cried. When Levi finally opened his eyes again, it was to the bright light coming through the window. He stood stiffly and walked back to the door. He met no one on his way out. The quadrangle was void of anyone as he walked, only the sound of wind and leaves joining the crunches of his footsteps against the snow. It was cold. His body shivered from it, his breath foggy. As he neared Rose Hall, his eyes automatically searched the small parking lot for the familiar white car of Erwin. It wasn’t there anymore.

The room was cold as he stepped in. He changed his shoes, hanged his coat, and sat on the bed for a moment. The brat’s table had been cleared, the usual clutter of books, papers, and laptop now gone. The sight of it somehow made him feel more miserable, alone.

Despite wanting to spend the whole day in his bed even though he doubted he would be able to actually fall asleep, he couldn’t stand the feeling of not taking a bath. Levi pulled himself to his feet, dragged them to the bathroom. He stood under the warm spray of water for a long time, not moving at all. After that, he hastily wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped out.

“So that’s where you are!”

Levi’s eyes were wide in disbelief. “Eren?”

Eren was standing in front of his bed, wearing a black hoodie and jeans. His hair was a mess, like he had been running outside.

“Where the hell were you last night?” Eren asked looking extremely annoyed. “You didn’t come back and I found your wallet and phone on the table. I’ve been looking for you all night!”

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Levi asked suddenly well aware of his nakedness and the soreness of his eyes from crying. He hastily wiped his eyes with his palms and tried to look as annoyed as possible.

Eren scratched the back of his neck, eyes averting to the window. “I decided I’ll be staying for the break too. I need to finish some stuff anyway so…”

“What stuff? And where are your things?” he asked, composing himself. “And how about your family?”

“They’re in my closet,” the other answered. “And my family is going on vacation in some lame hut anyway so I’d rather stay here. Why are you asking me so many questions anyway when you’re the one who went awol.” Eren then stared at him before slowly stepping forward to him, closer and closer until they were less than a foot apart. “I was so worried. I was so close to going to the police. Levi… What happened to you?”

For one threatening moment, Levi thought that he was going to spill everything to the brat. He _wanted_ to. He yearned to open his chest and bare it all, to be heard and to be comforted. Somehow, Eren’s presence made him feel like that that was okay.

“I was studying,” he answered stiffly, “in the library.”

Eren just stared at him, clearly seeing through his lie. “You must be tired,” Eren said instead and Levi felt weaker at the fact that the brat just let it slide. He grabbed another towel from Levi’s rack and closed the distance, wrapping it around Levi’s shoulders.

Levi flinched when Eren reached out to him but relaxed after a second. The other was now rubbing the towel up and down his arms before working it on his wet hair that he hadn’t realized was dripping.

“Your lips are blue,” Eren muttered as he worked. He then lightly touched Levi’s hands. “You’re cold.”

Levi couldn’t meet Eren’s eyes as the other fussed over him. His warm hands felt nice against his skin, chasing the cold away. “I’m fine,” he said and pulled his hands away, stepping aside to head for his closet. He could feel Eren’s eyes on his back.

“I’m getting breakfast,” the other announced suddenly. “I can get you something too. Maybe you can eat it when you’ve had some sleep.”

“Wait,” Levi called as Eren was about to walk to the door. “Is everyone gone?”

“Yes, it’s just you and me here,” Eren replied. “I heard there are a couple of people in Sina Hall as well. Three at Maria.”

Levi nodded and proceeded to pretend to look for something to wear. “D-Did you see that guy, Erwin, this morning? Before he left? The ugly white sedan is his.”

Eren finished putting on his shoes before answering. “Yes. He was in a hurry though. He left before sunrise.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Levi didn’t speak about that night. He acted normally, scolding Eren whenever he thought the younger one was being messy as usual and bringing food back from the café for him often. But Eren didn’t need him to talk to know about what happened. When Levi and Erwin were talking outside their building, Eren was just beyond the corner and was able to see what happened. Though he was too far to hear what they were saying, Eren clearly saw how Levi was pushing Erwin away. His mind told him to walk away because this was private and it was none of his business, especially when he saw how Erwin kept trying to kiss Levi while the smaller man was already rejecting him. Thankfully, the quarrel ended before he did anything stupid like rescue Levi. He went up to their room, waiting for his roommate to come but he never did.

Their days in the room was normal and different at the same time. Levi still had his shifts at the café but both of them mostly stayed in the room because it was too cold out. That was when Eren knew that, no matter how hard Levi tried to keep up the act that everything was normal, it wasn’t. He caught how less Levi was eating and how he’d wake to Levi sitting up on his bed, staring at the window when he thought Eren was asleep. Eren wished the other would talk to him, share some of the load but that didn’t happen. So eren thought about how else he could be there for the man.

Eren ended up being very productive when left alone in the room, waiting for the other to come back from work. He spent most of his idle time in the café too, studying there instead when he wanted to change his surroundings.

A few more days after, he could feel Levi getting closer to him, opening up, and looking a little better. The other man was still rude most of the time and he enjoyed making Eren suffer like an evil older brother who terrorized his younger brother for pleasure. But somehow, Eren felt like this was how Levi expressed his affection to him. He didn’t like how his roommate likened him exactly to a younger brother but he found he couldn’t complain. Their interactions lately were so easy and pleasant for him.

“Are you sure your family isn’t going to miss you for Christmas?” Levi asked him after their fifth day of campus solitude as he served Eren his second cappuccino for the day in the cafe.

Eren just shrugged. “I told you, didn’t I?” he replied as he took the drink. “They’re off to some hut and it’s so that my stupid sister can learn how to surf. We’ll videocall. It’s no big deal.”

Levi stared at him suspiciously. “And don’t you have anything else better to do than sit around here all day and drink coffee?”

“I’m working!” he said defensively and motioned to his laptop and books. “I’m sick of staying in the dorms too.”

“Tch,” was the only thing Levi said before walking away.

Though most of the students were away for the holidays, the café could still get busy at times but Hange was present most of the week. Levi bantered with her and did his job splendidly, balancing his polite appearance for the customers while being a total dick to Hange without any of them seeing.

“So Levi, what are you planning to do on your birthday?” Hange asked suddenly as she waved to the man she just served.

Levi gave Hange a pointed glare before deliberately ignoring them while Eren’s ears perked up.

“Your birthday?” he asked eagerly. “When is it?”

Levi’s glare at Hange intensified as he muttered ‘I will end you’ lowly but Hange was not fazed at all, grinning carelessly at Eren. “It’s on Christmas day!”

“Your birthday is on Christmas?” Eren asked, amazed.

“Fuck you four-eyes.”

“Isn’t it funny?” Hange commented, ignoring Levi yet again. “Such a grumpy, foul-mouthed person being born on such a day!”

Eren smiled. It was funny and only a few days before the said day. “Maybe we can celebrate together?”

“Oh sadly, I’ll have to be out of the country by tomorrow so I’ll miss it,” Hange said. “You’ll miss me, won’t you Levi?”

“Die you hag.”

“I love you too!”

Levi sighed before deciding to walk back to the kitchen, Hange giggling as he left. They checked that Levi really was gone before turning to Eren. “Hey, Eren. I have a favor to ask.”

Eren glanced at the kitchen door and then back at Hange. He nodded.

“I really do have to go by tomorrow. In fact, I should have gone a few days ago but I can’t leave Levi. I hate to leave him at a time like this but I don’t have any choice,” they said, all playfulness from earlier suddenly gone. They looked at him, waiting for him to give an indication that he knew what this was about.

“I might have an idea about it,” he admitted reluctantly.

“Good, then I won’t say anymore,” they answered. “I’ve seen how Levi treats you and I think he has become quite comfortable with you. As his friend, all I’m asking is that you keep him company, maybe take him out to drink on his birthday.”

Eren shook his head. “You can count on me. Actually, I’m already planning to have him celebrate Christmas somehow. I just didn’t know it was his birthday too.”

Hange smiled at him gratefully. “Thank you so much Eren.”

“I care about him too,” he said. “You don’t have to thank me.”

They considered this and then nodded. There was a distant look on Hange’s face then. “I told him to come with me, you know? I’ll be visiting the main house of our family and he’s been there a few times before. He’s always welcome but he declined. I understand he might want to spend some time alone but I don’t get why he’d rather isolate himself when something is up. He needs friends around him, especially now.”

At that moment, Levi walked out of the kitchen doors with a whole cake and headed for the display counters. Hange immediately sauntered over to him, making a loud remark about how Levi carrying a cake would make any maiden’s heart flutter before giving him a hug. Levi actually gave them a rough push which made Hange tumble over to the counter but it never wiped off the smile of their face. They found Eren looking and they winked.

The three of them had dinner together after the café closed and then they bid Hange farewell. Eren walked with Levi back to Rose Hall in silence as the snow lightly fell on them. The streets were less crowded and Eren enjoyed the moment. He was even more pleased when they walked into the campus which was now deserted. The grounds were now visibly white even in the dark. He stole glances at Levi as they walked, feeling his insides flutter warmly.

_So close yet so far._

Suddenly, Levi stopped. Eren looked at him questioningly but the other only looked up into the dark sky letting the flakes land on his face while a light steam emanated from his slightly parted mouth and Eren thought, he had never seen anything so beautiful.

“You can head back first,” Levi said. “I need a moment.”

Eren paused. He deliberated whether he should give Levi some space or convince him to come back with him before the night grew colder. “What will you do?”

Levi closed his eyes as he sat down a nearby bench, face still directed at the sky. “None of your business, nosy brat.”

Eren smiled, mind made up. He plopped down next to Levi, legs outstretched in a relax manner as he too closed his eyes and let the snow fall on his eyelids. He could feel Levi’s eyes on him and his smile widened.

“The fuck are you doing?”

“None of your business,” Eren returned, cracking one eye open to look at the other.

A smile slowly spread on Levi’s lips as he closed his eyes again. “Suit yourself.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------


	9. Cowardice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi opens up to Eren about Erwin. His birthday turns out to be something he didn't expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention this earlier but I have never read the manga of Shingeki no Kyojin. I just finished the latest season last month so I'm all caught up with the anime but please refrain from mentioning spoilers for the manga in the comments. Thankfully, I haven't been spoiled yet but I want to make sure that doesn't happen. Thank you!

9

On the day of the twenty-fourth, Eren woke up extremely early that Levi thought he had slept in. He quickly checked his clock and saw that it was only seven in the morning, later than his usual start but still plenty early for a lot of other people especially on a holiday. He was thankful for a full night’s rest he had, thinking about how hard it was for it lately to come by. He looked at the other bed as he stretched, yawning. Eren’s bed was empty and he found himself contemplating where the brat had gone.

The scenery outside his window was breathtaking so he took his time to appreciate it. Levi crawled over to the window sill where his succulents were and gazed out. The quadrangle looked like a Christmas postcard with its thick white snow and its big Romanesque buildings. He pulled the sweater he was wearing higher to his neck, shivering a little before pulling his phone from under his pillow.

He silently cursed at the messages from Erwin, still unread despite having received them days ago. There was a new one today and Levi was so very tempted to opening them. Without thinking, he highlighted the messages and his finger hovered over the ‘delete’ button. He hesitated, hated himself for it, but he knew he was defeated. He quickly shoved the device under the blanket.

“Fucking whimp,” he told himself. This thing would be hanging over him like a dark cloud for sure until he managed to get his shit together.

Just then, the door opened to reveal Eren in his winter coat, a beanie, and dark knitted gloves. His hair was a bit disheveled when he took off the beanie, his cheeks dusted with pink because of the cold. The brat really did look attractive, in that boyish kind of way that was apparently enough to get himself in a brawl due to a girl’s ire. He reminded him of one of those guys you’d see in clothing ads, those models in Abercrombie and Fitch posters, making anything they wear look effortlessly good.

“I bought hot drinks,” Eren announced, producing two steaming cups and handing one to Levi.

Levi muttered a ‘thanks’ and took it. He removed the lid to smell the contents, the hot fragrant steam immediately calming him. He took a long sip, humming in approval. He could smell Eren’s coffee from where he sat on his bed. When had he mentioned he preferred tea?

“There are muffins in the bag,” Eren said after sipping his own drink, motioning at the brown bag he had placed on his own bed.

Levi took one and found them warm. The very nice breakfast, being in his comfy pajamas and the cold weather outside all made him not want to leave his bed. “Where did you get these?” he asked.

“From a café a couple of blocks away from Hange’s,” the other replied.

“Is the coffee good?”

“It’s fine. I prefer yours.”

“You don’t need to butter me up, brat. You’re still getting discounts until Historia’s thing is done.”

“It’s true though. I’m not buttering you up,” Eren said defensively but with a light smile.

Levi smirked as he took another bite of the blueberry muffin. He noticed it of course. Eren had been, in his own subtle way, taking care of Levi. Guiltily, he allowed it. He had felt so drained in the days after Erwin left but he couldn’t keep taking from Eren like this. He was such a nice kid and he’s stuck with someone like Levi who could very well be the most difficult roommate one could have. “I’ll take care of lunch,” he declared.

“It’s fine. I was hungry any—w”

“Shut it.”

Levi enjoyed breakfast while watching the scenery outside. Eren was on his own bed, doing the same and for once, he was quiet. The silence was comfortable, pleasant even. He could remember a year ago when he was alone in this same room for the holidays. His roommate was only too happy to leave for vacation and be out of Levi’s space. The feeling was mutual, Levi feeling like he could finally rest in his room without someone dropping M&Ms and cookie crumbs every five minutes. The bastard stank like a bitch too.

“Do you have anything planned for tonight?” Eren suddenly asked.

Levi looked back at Eren. “Not really. I was going to build a fucking snowman outside but I’m open for any suggestions.”

Eren chuckled lightly before answering. “I was just going to ask if you maybe want to go drinking? But hey, we can still build a _fucking_ snowman if you want.”

He sighed, taking another sip of his tea. It really was good. “Yeah, sure. Whatever,” he said. He needed a drink anyway.

“Okay,” Eren said, smiling widely.

“And please tell me you’re old enough to drink.”

“I’m eighteen,” Eren pointed out. “Besides, if we’re getting our IDs checked, it’s you who should worry.”

Levi raised an indignant eyebrow at him but Eren only smirked, standing up and patting the top of Levi’s head as he walked to the bathroom, as if to prove his point.

“I liked you a lot better before when you look like you’re about to wet your pants with just a fucking look,” Levi called out as Eren stepped into the bathroom.

“Yeah, yeah, what was I thinking?” Eren said as he closed the door.

Levi shook his head, staring at the door.

\------------------------------------------

Pub Stohess is located several blocks from the university campus. It was somewhat popular among the students since it’s the closest establishment of its kind and many locals frequented it as well. It took Eren and Levi a train ride for them to reach it but both were satisfied as they walked in, seeing the well stocked variety of drinks available. Levi only went with Eren’s suggestion on a whim but now that he could see the dozens of bottles of alcoholic drinks, he wanted to get drunk as soon as possible so he made a beeline for the bar and took a seat, Eren trailing behind him to the take the one beside him.

“Two bears,” Levi told the bartender.

“This feels like you’ll be misery drinking,” Eren commented as he accepted one of the bottles and then flinching after he realized just what he said.

“You can leave if you want,” Levi suggested as he took his, looking unfazed by the comment.

“Misery drinking requires someone to listen to the person doing the drinking, once drunk. And I have to make sure you’re not going to end up in the gutter tonight,” Eren pointed out to which Levi only rolled his eyes.

“This was _your_ suggestion,” he reminded him.

“I know, but I’m just saying that it’s your birthday tomorrow. I can take you someplace livelier to get your spirits up… like a club maybe,” he said uncertainly. He didn’t want to say ‘happier’ because that would mean Levi was in misery. Which he was.

Levi snorted. “I don’t dance,” he told the other and started drinking.

They silently drank their first bottles quite fast and Levi motioned the bartender for another round. Eren sighed and ordered a platter of fries to protect their stomach from the alcohol, thinking that this was going to be a long night. Soon, two rounds became three, and three became 5. Levi was gesturing at the bartender for their sixth when Eren finally saw the pinkish blush on Levi’s pale cheeks from all the alcohol.

“Are you drunk enough to finally share?” Eren asked. “I wasn’t joking. I’m willing to listen.”

Levi stared at him before snorting. “I’ll need to be a lot drunker for that.”

Eren paced himself while Levi went up to eight bottles before finally slowing down. Taking pity on the other, Eren fished a fry from his plate shoved it inside Levi’s open mouth. Levi’s eyebrows knitted but chewed on the food without protest.

“I know about you and Erwin,” Eren blurted out. For a moment, he thought that he had shocked Levi sober as the other’s eyes widened and focused. But then his body became sluggish again, looking away.

“I’m gay,” Levi said wisely. “Surprise.”

“I know. I just told you I know about you and Erwin being together,” Eren said patiently, not even amused.

That was not the reaction Levi had been expecting. Most people assumed that Levi was straight and had a lot of things to say when they found out he wasn’t. Levi shook his head. “Nope, we’re not together,” he said.

“You’re drunk,” he told Levi. “You can’t even think straight. Did you guys have a fight?”

Eren thought the whole situation was laughable. Here he was with the person he liked, drinking with him and trying to listen to his relationship woes about someone else. Someone should build him a monument already for being an idiot.

Levi hummed. The subject of Erwin was bringing back some sobriety to his eyes. “Not really,” he said vaguely.

It was past midnight when they finally walked out of the pub, Levi’s arm slung loosely over Eren’s as the taller man guided him to the sidewalk. Levi kept trying to steer them to the direction of the train and ignoring Eren’s explanation that they’ve already missed the last train. He had allowed Levi to drink as much as he wanted but when he got past ten, he firmly set his foot down and took care of the bill before leading his drunk roommate out.

“I’ll take care of it, okay? So stop struggling. We’ll be back in the dorm soon,” he told Levi who was looking at him with unfocused eyes. He bit his lip, hesitating before brushing away some strands off of Levi’s face.

Without warning, Levi pushed him away and bolted to the side of the street and heaved, emptying his stomach on the pavement. Eren sighed as he walked over the smaller man crouched low on the sidewalk and proceeded to pat his back. He waited for him to stop throwing up and then flagged down a cab.

In the cab ride back to the campus, Levi seemed to feel a lot better and had sobered up a bit. He wasn’t as sluggish in his movements and he tracked the road outside the window. Eren left him alone, directing his gaze at his own window and letting himself get lost in his own thoughts until he felt Levi’s head fall onto Eren’s shoulder. He quickly looked back to check if the other had fallen asleep but Levi’s eyes were open, still trained on the window.

“Let me borrow your shoulder for a while,” he said, not meeting Eren’s eyes.

In response, Eren relaxed in his seat and even moved Levi’s head on his shoulder to a more comfortable position. Levi relaxed in the position as well. The ride felt too short as the cab suddenly pulled over near the campus gates. He reluctantly pushed Levi lightly to sit up.

As they were walking in the quadrangle, they were side by side and silent, the distance that used to exist between them as they walked these grounds before had grown less and less. Their arms were almost brushing at their proximity but neither seemed to want to acknowledge it.

Near Rose Hall, Levi suddenly walked outside the stone path and onto the grass that was currently covered in thick snow. He went down to sit on his ankles as he balled a handful of snow. Eren wordlessly went to him and squatted beside him.

“We can build a snowman,” he suggested.

Levi just stared at his ball of snow. “I want to be stronger,” he said suddenly.

“You’re plenty strong, I think.”

“No, I’m a fucking weakling,” Levi replied quietly, shaking his head before turning to Eren. “How do you do it? How do you live a normal fucking life knowing that the person you like can never be yours?”

Eren stared at Levi, wondering how fate came to mock him like this and reeling at the sudden seriousness of the question. “It’s not easy,” he said. There was a long stretch of silence that followed. Eren wondered if this was the time that he’d finally be able to step forward. "You said you and Erwin are not… together.”

Levi only looked at him.

“But I saw you guys,” Eren continued, thinking of that time again which now felt years ago.

Levi snorted and proceeded to scoop more snow. “Does it bother you? To know that you’ve been rooming with someone like me?”

“Of course not,” he replied quickly with a touch of indignation. “What kind of person do you think I am?”

“A brat,” Levi said immediately. “An honest, kind, nosy, well-meaning brat.”

Eren didn’t know if he felt elated or annoyed. This guy was driving him nuts. “So what’ the deal with you guys. Tell me.”

“Erwin and I go way back. He’s kind too. I know I’m not easy to be around with but he kept staying by my side even though some of his friends didn’t like me,” Levi said. “He kept choosing me over them. He is a nice guy, looks like a fucking work of art… Who wouldn’t fall for someone like that?”

Levi glared at the ball he was making and Eren knew he wasn’t seeing it. Eren felt a bitter churning in his gut at hearing Levi wax poetic about Erwin but this was what he had been waiting for, to finally hear what Levi was thinking and the other was opening up to him.

“But of course, he’s too good for me,” Levi continued bitterly. “Of course he fucking is, look at me. He could do with someone so much better. I know that. But when he told me about being promised to another since he was a child, like some stupid fucking movie, I can’t help but think, ‘So what? End it. I’m here now so choose me’.”

The words ‘I wasn’t chosen’ were left unsaid but it echoed in both their heads.

“It’s been years. I knew the day of parting would come. I knew it had to be me who ends it,” Levi said softly and with every words, his voice became breathy. Eren had never heard him talk like that, like each sound pained him. “Now that I’ve done it, it feels like a part of me had died and I want to take it back. I want him still… but I can’t.”

Eren wasn’t able to help himself as the downpour of tears broke, leaving Levi shaking helplessly in sorrow. He grabbed the smaller man into his arms and gently pushed his head down to his shoulder. Levi didn’t even fight, clutching at Eren’s coat and cried against the material while Eren held him, stroking the back of his head.

They stayed like that for a while, Levi’s mind haunted by thoughts of Erwin while Eren’s stormed with a crushing realization.

“Hey, let’s do our best okay?” Levi said as he slowly pulled away from their embrace.

Eren stared at him. It hurt. The confusion and his indecisiveness all melted away to give way to a burning pain in his chest as he looked at Levi’s tear-stricken face, hair a bit tousled by his own hands earlier.

“We’re going to live our lives with no regrets and try to be as happy as we can even when they don’t… choose us.”

Because now, even if he decided to take the plunge, be willing to get judged and ridiculed and make mistakes and had to fight, it was too late. He had already lost. He won’t be able to squeeze himself inside Levi’s heart when Erwin still has it. Anything that he would start with him would only be tainted by memories of Erwin.

“We will,” Eren said.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

“Happy birthday! And merry Christmas! If you celebrate.”

Levi woke up to a glorious headache and a blue and silver blur moving around in his face. He groaned as he tried to sit up, pushing the thing away and then clutching his temples as it pounded. The events of last night was slowly drifting back along with the regret of drinking that much. People really did tend to make stupid decisions when they’re emotional.

“Here, I got you some of these,” Eren said who was suddenly sitting at the side of Levi’s bed and handing him a glass of water and the same tablets he gave Eren when he was the one suffering from a hangover.

He groaned again, sunlight hurting his eyes, as he quickly swallowed the tablets with water. “Thanks. And can you do something about the window? My eyes are fucking burning.”

“Oops. Just a sec,” Eren said and soon, the room was much dimmer. “Better?”

Levi nodded and he could finally properly see. Eren was already in his day clothes. A wrapped present was on the foot of Levi’s bed which he recognized was the blur of silver and blue from earlier. “The fuck is that?”

“Your present of course,” Eren replied as he handed it to him. “Open it.”

Levi felt the headache getting less intense by the minute. He sighed and then undid the ribbon and the wrapping paper. Eren was smiling as he watched him open the box inside to reveal the gift.

“A… rug?” Levi said uncertainly as he unraveled the thick bundle of gray cloth.

“No, dummy,” Eren said as he came forward to take it from Levi’s hands. He shook the stretched material and wove it around Levi’s neck, admiring how the color matched the other’s eyes. “It’s a scarf.”

Levi leaned against the material and finding it soft and warm. He was very pleased. “Not bad, brat. Thank you.”

“It’s nothing. I got presents for Armin and the others too so,” Eren explained, scratching the back of his head.

“But I got you nothing,” Levi blurted out. “I didn’t expect this, but I can get you one—l”

“No! It’s okay!” Eren said quickly and as if just realizing how close they were, immediately stepped back a couple of feet. “You don’t have to. And it’s your birthday!”

“I’ll treat you to lunch then,” Levi said firmly but once again, Eren was shaking his head.

“Actually, I have some research I need to do.”

“On Christmas day?” Levi asked disbelievingly.

“Skype calls!” Eren said. “From families.”

“After then. I can wait,” Levi insisted.

“ _Lots_ of families,” Eren said, not meeting his eyes. He then walked to his bag and started packing his laptop.

“Okay, then dinner,” Levi tried again.

“I already have plans,” Eren said as he slipped his shoes on.

Levi was at a loss. He wasn’t one to assume things but he was most certain that Eren would be forcing him to celebrate today.

“Sorry! Please have a nice day… Don’t wait up for me,” Eren said.

Levi’s jaw fell as he watched Eren step out the door and close it behind him.

\---------------------------------------------------------

Birthdays was never really a special day to Levi. He had wondered growing up, how it felt like for the other kids who all made a big deal about it. His classmates would throw parties at their houses and invite people from their school. Isabel and Farlan would demand a cake and presents from their parents. Even Hange and Erwin would get things like new gadgets or money from their parents. For a kid whose mother could barely keep up with rent and their everyday needs, such things seemed unnecessary and completely out of the question.

Once, Erwin and Hange had given him a cake on his birthday. It was one of those small but really expensive looking ones and they’d even placed a blue candle on top. They went to his house to give it, wearing expectant looks but Levi just stared at the cake and then at them.

“Thanks,” he told them.

“EEEeeehhh!” Hange exclaimed. “We even snuck out from our family Christmas dinners to bring this to you! How underwhelming was that reaction!”

“Tch,” Levi said, thinking it wasn’t his fault he was born on Christmas day. “Is this a birthday cake?”

“Of course it is,” Erwin said. “Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday!” joined Hange.

Levi wondered how much it had cost them. He looked at both of them and smiled. “I do appreciate it but you really shouldn’t have.”

“Of course we should!” Hange declared.

“Why don’t we open it and eat?” Erwin suggested, already heading for the cupboard for some plates. “When is your mom coming home? If you want we can wait for her too.”

Levi shook his head, dreading the question and having to explain. “She’s at the hospital. I’m actually on my way to see her.”

Both of them froze, looked at each other and then back at Levi. Hange broke the silence first.

“Oh my… We had no idea,” they said guiltily. “I’m so sorry! What happened to her? Since when?”

“She’s been in and out since winter. Her lungs are weak, it’s always hard for her during winter,” he said trying to sound nonchalant.

“We’ll go with you,” Erwin said and Hange nodded.

Levi smirked. “No, you’re not. I can’t have your parents out for blood on this day. Go home to your families.”

“Levi—we” Erwin started but he cut him off.

“Visit tomorrow if you want,” he told them firmly. “Or the next. I need mom to rest for tonight anyway.”

Reluctantly and with heavy hearts, Hange and Erwin left. Levi removed the candle from the cake and placed it back inside the box. He wanted to buy her something special today like a scarf or that bag she had been eyeing for the past few months, but he wasn’t able to because he had to buy medicines instead. Kuchel had a sweet tooth so hopefully, a cake would just as well.

He brought the cake to the hospital which was the least festive part of town at the moment. He passed the private rooms to reach the charity ward where Kuchel occupied one of the beds. He counted five curtain dividers and slid the cloth open.

His mother was lying flat on her back but when she spotted him, she immediately sat up and triggered a fit of coughs. Levi fished the surgical mask that the nurse had given him on his way in and put it on before walking to her bedside.

“Erwin and Hange brought cake for us,” he told her.

Her smile, even though pained and small was warm. She reached out to ruffle his hair fondly. “It’s your birthday today,” she said breathily.

He shrugged. “You know I’ve never really cared about that. But the cake looks tasty. It has strawberries and blueberries and shit so let’s eat it together. I bet you’re tired of the crap they make you eat here.”

“Language,” she scolded lightly but couldn’t help smile.

Levi did not lie to her and to his friends. It didn’t matter to him if people forgot about his birthday or didn’t make a big deal out of it. It made him uncomfortable if he were being strictly honest. But this year, with his mother gone and his friends away, somehow, Levi was feeling like everyone of those little bastards who thought they were special on their birthdays. He tried to read, to sleep, to clean, all those things that he usually did every single day when it wasn’t his birthday. Because it wasn’t special, right?

As he made his bed, his gaze landed on the other one, empty. For some reason, he thought Eren was going to be here today.

He shook his head and fluffed his pillows more vigorously.

\---------------------------------------------------------

Since the break started, Eren had mostly been free and would tail him wherever he went. They ate almost all their meals together and spent idle time within the proximity of each other that Levi had forgotten to bother asking him if he had anything better to do. Until that day. Initially, he thought that maybe Eren really did have things to do. He did have a life outside being Levi’s roommate.

Three days had passed and Eren remained suspiciously distant. Levi thought that Eren just really needed to do things alone so he had let it slip but things just didn’t add up. When Eren would normally go the Zoe Café to bother him at work, he now had never even came in once. When the brat would usually ask him about his plans and then made his own plans around Levi’s so that he could come with, Eren seemed to be going out of his way so that they’d end up separate the whole day. He would wake up early and leave immediately or sleep in until almost noon. He consistently came back late at night and would always dodge the questions when asked where he had been, giving vague answers.

Whenever they were inevitably in the same space, Levi had learned to observe him and noted that the other looked uneasy.

“You could tell me, you know,” Levi suddenly said on the fifth day, unable to keep acting like he didn’t notice. “Like how you listened to me, I can listen to you too.”

Eren was flustered, looking like his face was going to burst but then he suddenly laughed nervously and with a forced smile he said, “What? I don’t have anything to say.”

Levi glared at him not just because he felt insulted that the other thought he’d buy his lies but also because he felt hurt that Eren chose not to open up to him. Over the months, he had grown really fond of Eren and thought that they had built a quiet trust and understanding between them. Apparently, he had been wrong.

“Fine.”

Levi’s mind started to get filled with wondering why Eren was acting this way that it sometimes distracted him from work. What if Eren was in trouble? What if those guys who had ganged up on him came back and was blackmailing him or something? Levi found himself worrying and scaring himself more that he needed to take an early break.

“He’s here yesterday. I think you missed him,” Hange said when he asked them if Eren still came to the café. “He’s here last Friday but since it’s your day off you don’t see… wait, is Eren avoiding you? Did you guys fight?”

That fucking brat.

“No, we haven’t fought _yet_ ,” Levi replied thinking of how much he wanted to give his roommate a hard smack on his stupid head, “but I’ll give him one once he comes back later.”

That night, Levi waited and waited for Eren to come in their room. His knuckles itched to grab the brat’s shirt’s neck and demand to stop acting stupid and just talk.

But Eren didn’t come back that night.

Levi was so worried that he had spent most of the night looking for him in the campus. It made him think of when Eren was the one doing this for him and his mind reeled. He hadn’t realized just how much Eren had been looking out for him until now.

Levi went back to their room when it was almost sunrise and found Eren sleeping in his bed peacefully, still wearing his day clothes. He sighed tiredly, his earlier agitation and panic melting away and being replaced by sadness and resignation.

“Fine, I get it,” he muttered and then he slipped under his own covers, facing the window.

He didn’t see green eyes slowly opening, staring at him. Eren watched him for a few more moments before turning his head to the other side.

\-------------------------------------------------

In the morning of December thirty-first, Eren opened his eyes and quickly checked to see if the other occupant of the room was still sleeping. Levi was lying on his side, face towards Eren and relaxed in slumber. Quickly and as quietly as possible, Eren sat up to grab his phone. It was already seven in the morning. He quickly glanced at Levi again to check that he was still sleeping but then remembered how late the other had gotten back last night. He must have been tired.

Eren checked the notifications of his phone and found the one he had been waiting for: a confirmation email for the hotel room he had booked for tonight.

He got up and took a shower. Eren then went to his closet to pack a change of clothes, making sure that he made as little noise as possible. When he was certain that he had everything he needed, he zipped his duffle and stood. He was about to walk to the door but he froze. Levi was sitting up in bed, staring at him accusingly.

“Plans tonight?” Levi asked him, staring pointedly at his bag.

“Um, yeah,” he replied, looking away.

“Care to tell me where? Armin said your family is still in Mexico so don’t even try to tell me you’re meeting them.”

Eren glared at the floor guiltily. Why did Levi had to make this so hard? “I wasn’t going to say that.”

“Then tell me,” Levi said looking like he was in pain.

Eren looked away again, unable to stand the fact that it was him that was causing it. But he had to do it. Levi said so himself, they had to try to live for themselves and not the people who didn’t choose them. He had to give Levi and himself room to breathe.

It had taken long for him to realize his attraction to Levi and even longer to notice how stupid his actions had been because of it. It crept up on him and before Eren knew it, he was already posing himself as a rebound. How he got there, he couldn’t remember and frankly he didn’t care, but whenever there’s a moment of clarity and he remembered how broken and vulnerable Levi was at the moment, he couldn’t help but be disgusted with himself.

He had no choice. He shouldn’t let Levi too close to depend on him. He shouldn’t let himself too close and get consumed.

“At least tell me you’re safe,” Levi said. “Tell me nobody is trying to beat you up again or some shit.”

“No… it’s not like that. I’m safe.”

Levi tch-ed loudly but he nodded, looking like he wanted to say so much more but was holding back. Eren waited because he was a hopeless fool but remembered he had to go.

\-----------------------------------------------


	10. Leap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's plans of hiding away for the new year's was broken by Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I know I've been gone for a long time (relatively for this story's update frequency before). I just want to say thank you if you're still there and reading. Updates will get slower because:
> 
> 1\. I've started working from home  
> 2\. I just watched Vikings and have fallen into the RagnarxAthelstan ship (blissfully)  
> 3\. I'm working on new fic ideas that just keeps bugging me until I write them (Yuri on Ice, Vikings, another SnK fic).
> 
> So yeah, hope you enjoy this update! :)

10

Just a minute walk from the hotel room he booked, the nightclub was perfect for the distraction Eren was seeking for. Even at nine in the evening, the place was already packed with people waiting for the New Year’s countdown. Loud upbeat music blasted from speakers from the DJ booth as bodies swayed drunkenly on the dimly lit dance floor, flashing neon lights from above striking like lightning in time with the music’s beat. The floor was glowing in cool shades of white, blue, and purple, the only thing that was helping everyone keep track of who they were dancing with and where they were going. He nursed his scotch at one of the bar seats, trying to watch other people and not think about the betrayed look on Levi’s face before Eren left.

The past few days had been hard. Apart from trying to keep away from his roommate, Eren realized that it was hard to find a place where he could stay that wasn’t frequented by Levi too because all the places he knew were Levi’s places as well. He had to find a new spot in the quadrangle, a new table in the library, a different seat in the cafeteria. He couldn’t give up Zoe Café though so he figured he’d just visit whenever it was Levi’s off.

“Hey there,” a girl’s voice suddenly said right behind him.

She was beautiful. The short, gold dress showed off her body, long blonde hair caressed her bare shoulders and barely concealed breasts. Her Jewelry were delicate chains of gold with sparkly gems that teased her neck, her wrists, and her chest.

“Here for the countdown?” she asked.

It was clear what her intentions were with how her hand was suddenly on his shoulder, fingers gently squeezing. He thought about it, taking a sip of his own drink to let himself loosen up. “Maybe.”

She smiled seductively and took the seat beside him. She ordered some colorful drink that Eren wasn’t able to catch and drank. “I’m all alone. Maybe you could keep me company?” she asked coyly.

He sighed but gave her a smile. “I’m not sure about that.”

“Oh come on,” she said pouting, scooting as close to him as their fixed chairs would allow. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

Eren could still clearly see Levi’s face and to drown his mind, he kissed her. The girl kissed back but he pulled away before things got any more heated. She still looked pleased though.

“You haven’t even asked my name yet,” she said impressed.

_I’d rather not know._

“Yeah, well,” he said vaguely before downing the rest of his drink.

As the night progressed, the crowd got drunker and rowdier. Eren kept his glass full as he drank and let the noise of the night club drown the noises of his own mind. The girl was still beside him but was getting impatient as he found he couldn’t even be bothered to feign attention to her attempts at flirting. She had been trying to get him to dance with her but he just wasn’t in the mood. He wished he was. Instead, he was beginning to get really annoyed but thankfully she snapped first, muttering something about Eren being lame and then ditching him.

Finally, some peace and… noise.

He didn’t let the occasional bumps from people passing or dancing distract him from his drink. He planned to… he couldn’t remember what he came here to accomplish but he was bent on holding his ground nonetheless.

It was eleven thirty already when he heard a voice that was too familiar, too close to home that he thought that the alcohol had finally messed up his brain. But then he heard it again, miraculously, cutting above the chaotic music and people cheering. Eren whipped around, eyes scanning the dance floor for a hint of black hair. He cursed at how hard it was to do because of the poor lighting.

“Get the fuck away from me!”

Eren’s eyes widened when he finally confirmed he wasn’t hallucinating. Levi was on the dance floor a few feet from where Eren sat, pushing a rowdy drunk man away from him. The man was ignoring his protests, trying to pull Levi into a sensual dance.

Before he knew it, Eren was on his feet marching across the dance floor and pulling the bastard off of Levi who looked stunned. Levi quickly pushed the nuisance away and rounded up on Eren. Eren knew he shouldn’t feel happy that Levi was here or too pleased at how quickly he dismissed the other guy after seeing him. Even as Levi grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him closer, all he could think about was how beautiful he was.

“You!!!” Levi said as he stepped closer, voice leaking with anger.

“How did you find me?” he asked. “And what are you doing here?”

“The notification for the hotel reservation came in at around two in the morning and I saw it,” he said. “And I thought about what would a fucking brat do on new year’s eve and I thought, ‘oh, maybe getting wasted?’ and I was fucking right!”

He tried to ignore the little voice that told him how Levi was here just because of a small indefinite chance that Eren would be here. It seemed like every little thing the guy did made him weak now that it was hard to remember why he had been keeping his distance in the first place.

“Why are you so mad?” he asked and released himself from Levi’s hands. “You found me, good job. Now what?”

He started to walk back to the bar, ignoring Levi’s incredulous ‘what!?’ not really knowing what to do. He grabbed his drink and downed it before ordering another one.

“I was so worried that you’re maybe in some sort of deep shit and you’ll end up in the headlines tomorrow, fucking dead,” Levi spat behind him as he followed. “But no, you’re here drowning yourself with alcohol. Why can’t you just tell me what the fuck is happening huh?”

Eren snorted. “That’s rich coming from you. Didn’t you drink yourself to death not too long ago because of some guy?”

“Some _guy_?” Levi repeated. “Is that what’s this about? You’re fucking heartbroken?”

“Go home,” Eren muttered and reached for his drink but before he could, Levi had it in his hands and was downing it all.

Eren glared at him but Levi just glared back. He gestured for the barista to give him another one but that too was intercepted. Levi emptied the contents into his mouth and wiped it with the back of his hand.

“That’s fucking strong,” Levi muttered disdainfully, making a face.

The music then changed, a loud but slower song and people cheered as they got into position at the dance floor. Levi cursed as people moved around them but did not miss the next three shots Eren ordered, downing them all quickly despite how they made his throat burn.

“Are you planning to steal all my drinks tonight?” Eren asked.

“You’ve had enough. This stuff is strong. It’s making my head dizzy and I’ve got better tolerance than you,” Levi returned. “Come on, let’s go back.”

Eren stared at him, eyes glinting with an internal storm. He suddenly stood and stepped closer to tower over Levi. He then grabbed Levi’s arm and dragged him to the center of the dance floor.

“What the fuck? Let me go stupid brat!”

When they’re in the middle, Eren suddenly grabbed his waist with both hands to pull him close, bodies pressed up from knees to chest. Levi gasped at the sudden proximity and instinctively held on to Eren’s shoulders when he almost lost his balance.

“Dance with me,” Eren breathed against his ear, making a shiver run down his body before pressing their foreheads together. He could feel the warmth of Eren’s breath on his face, could almost taste the alcohol emanating from within.

Those green eyes had never looked as intimidating as they did now. Levi froze under the gaze, mesmerized and terrified at the same time. He found that he couldn’t look away even as he wondered why Eren had been weird, why they were here, why their bodies were so close…

The beat of the music thrummed in the air as bodies moved to it. Eren led him to a swaying motion and Levi followed reluctantly. Eren then started to move his hips against Levi’s, eyes focused on gray ones and ignoring everything else around them. Levi could feel his heart thumping wildly as he felt the unmistakable arousal in Eren’s pants.

“Eren,” he said, not meaning his voice to be as soft and breathy as it came out. “A-Are you mad at me?”

The taller one leaned closer until their mouths were but a hair away from each other. “Remember those favors you owe me.”

Levi’s eyes fell closed as another shiver ran through him. He unconsciously licked his lips as he opened his eyes to find those green orbs still directed at him like spotlights.

“I’ll use one now,” Eren continued then held Levi’s body against his. “Kiss me.”

Eren was aroused and drunk, quite possibly confused. Levi didn’t have any time to contemplate any further than that as their mouths met, but he was not expecting the hunger and ferocity of Eren’s kiss. He moaned, eyes closing as Eren completely took over, tongue entering his mouth and tasting his confused cries. He could feel Eren’s hand squeezing the side of his waist while the other held his face by the side of his jaw. The music blared at the background but he could still hear his own pants of breath and Eren’s own voice, low but unmistakable.

He didn’t know how long they were kissing but eventually, Levi pulled away, panting harshly. He stared at Eren with lidded eyes, wanting to ask questions and punch his face but the so called ‘brat’ was looking down on him, lust and hunger and want all swimming in those tantalizing eyes.

Wordlessly, Eren dragged him to the nearest wall and pinned him there, putting his hands on either side of Levi’s head. The people around them were cheering as the countdown clock appeared in the big LCD screens above the bar to countdown the remaining minutes before midnight but the two of them didn’t notice.

Eren leaned close again, placing kisses along the side of Levi’s neck before pulling back again and looking at him with questioning eyes. Levi didn’t know what came over him. Maybe it was the alcohol in his brain. Maybe it was the sensual beat of the music. Maybe it was the heat radiating from both their bodies. Maybe it was just Eren. But as soon as he lifted his arms to put around Eren’s shoulders, he knew he was fucked.

\----------------------------------------------------------

It was all a blur. The walk from the nightclub to the hotel, the elevator ride, the hurried kisses and fumbling hands on clothes. Levi stumbled into the hotel room feeling like his skin was on fire. Eren walked in behind him, closing the door and wasting no time in pushing Levi against the wall. Levi groaned lowly as he felt the back of his head collide with the wall but he ignored it as Eren’s tongue slipped into his mouth yet again. He could taste the alcohol the brat was drinking a while ago, mingled with something sweet, something that he was quickly learning to be Eren.

What the heck was he doing?

“Wait,” Levi managed to get out as he pulled away from the kiss.

Eren was still leaning against him, arms caging him in and looking like a powerful predator, so far from the meek boy he had known him to be. For all the confidence and dominance that he exuded, he wordlessly stroked Levi’s cheek with a gentle but sure hand then ran his thumb along Levi’s lower lip, eyes following the movement and looking almost cold and detached like he had never seen him before.

“You’re drunk,” Levi pushed himself to say against the gravity of those green eyes on him. “You’re confused…”

Eren suddenly placed a finger against Levi’s lips, ending his words. “I’m not.”

Without warning, Eren lifted Levi off the floor, the shorter one unable to keep from yelping as he felt himself being carried bridal style towards, panic rising as he realized, the bed. Eren gently placed him on the mattress and even though the other wasn’t telling him to not move, wasn’t physically restraining him, Levi’s body was frozen on the cold sheets and unable to lift a single muscle.

“I don’t understand... We need to talk,” Levi said.

Eren’s intense gaze was throwing him off, reminding him of the few moments in the past when those same eyes did this, pinned him in place like the one staring at him had changed into a completely different person. He had caught glimpses of it but thought nothing of it, foolishly.

“You don’t understand,” Eren said as he started to move on all fours until he was on top of Levi, legs and arms on either side of his roommate’s unmoving body. “Do you really not?”

He did. Looking at Eren now and seeing the want in those green eyes, of course he did. But as Eren moved down to press his lips against his, to press their palms together and entwine their fingers, Levi remembered the Eren grinning toothily at him, teeth green with pesto pasta. He remembered the kind and nervous smile on his face as he told Levi about the scholarship. He remembered the gentle hands that touched his hair at the back of a cab. He remembered the smiling face, eyes closed as snowflakes fell on his skin…

Levi clenched his fingers into Eren’s hold as he accepted the kiss. Eren was impatient and hungry, so he allowed the man in, opening his mouth to offer, hoping to satiate the beast he hadn’t known was there. Eren took, kissing him hungrily, twirling their tongues, sucking the very breath in his lungs. Levi closed his eyes, allowing Eren to have his fill patiently and trying not to focus on how soft Eren’s lips were, how good his kisses tasted. He wanted to stroke Eren’s back soothingly, or maybe run his fingers in those brown locks but when he tried to move his hands, Eren made an impatient sound and pressed his hands down more forcibly on the bed.

When they finally parted, Levi was dazed and hot. Eren was looking down at him like he was even hungrier than before and it sent waves of chill down his spine. It was tempting, so very tempting to surrender himself up and be consumed. But he couldn’t let Eren make this mistake.

“What now? You’re going to fuck me?” Levi challenged with as much derision as he could muster, hoping to slow things down and knock some sense to Eren’s skull because he too was quickly losing it.

Eren just looked at him, eyes never wavering. Levi tried to minutely move his arms, to push himself up and will his body to move away but he felt paralyzed.

“Do you even know how?” Levi forced himself to say, hoping to gain some ground. “Are you curious? Is this what this is about, brat? You want to know what it’s like to fuck ass?”

But Eren only smirked like Levi was the innocent one, the one who didn’t know what he was talking about. Wordlessly, Eren started to unbutton his shirt, slowly revealing the slender but well-toned torso underneath before tossing the clothing aside. He unceremoniously undid his belt and pants before pulling them off. Eren was now just in his black boxers that clearly outlined his arousal. Levi hadn’t realized that he was breathing heavily, feeling nervous and, as much as he wanted to deny, thrilled.

“Why don’t you answer me!” Levi exclaimed, pushing away the want that was distracting him. “Eren… come on. Talk to me. I want to know what you’re thinking... what you’re _feeling_.”

Eren sat back on his heels, pulling Levi up with him into a sitting position. His eyes were still staring at him with lust and almost a detached sense of control, a single-minded determination to have what he wanted. But after Levi’s words sunk in, those eyes softened, reminding him of the brat that he had come to consider his little brother.

Did he not anymore?

He held Levi’s upper arms gently as he spoke, his eyes warming with earnestness. “I don’t want to talk. I don’t want us to think. So just for tonight… Levi, can we just feel?”

Levi’s eyes widened in response. He knew that this was a bad idea and talking and thinking was exactly the things they needed right now. But Levi was tired. He felt like everything had been slowly eating him up, draining him until he could no longer give anything more. Eren’s body was warm, inviting. His eyes clearly showed how he desired him, wanted to devour him. He was tired of fighting.

Slowly, silently, Levi nodded. Eren withdrew his hands back to allow Levi to take his own shirt off. As soon as it was removed, he could feel green eyes running all over his skin. He had never minded people looking but Eren’s gaze was different.

“Okay,” Eren said softly as he firmly but slowly pulled Levi in to capture his lips. This time, Levi slowly placed an arm around Eren’s neck while his other arm supported him as Eren began to push him onto his back. He followed, slowly lying back down as Eren settled on top of him, breaths exchanged against hot kisses. He opened his legs to make room for Eren between them, the weight pinning him tantalizing instead of suffocating.

Soon Eren ended the kiss but his mouth latched onto the side of Levi’s neck. Levi was panting, feeling the other suck at his skin almost hard enough to hurt. Each mark left felt like Eren’s cries. He then felt hands in front of his pants, undoing the button and zipper. He pushed his waist up to allow Eren to pull it off and toss it aside. He buried his fingers into Eren’s hair as the other continued to kiss and lick his neck, moving slowly to his chest and down his abs, Eren’s fingers trailing along Levi’s skin where his mouth had been.

“E-Eren,” he muttered breathlessly.

Eren smiled down at him at the mention of his name. “That’s how I want you to call me,” he told Levi before pulling Levi’s boxers off without much effort.

For some reason, being completely bare in front of Eren in this situation felt completely different from when he did it in art class. He felt more vulnerable and exposed now than when dozens of other eyes were looking at him. It was both scary and exciting.

As if Eren couldn’t stop throwing him off and rendering him speechless, Levi moaned loudly as his cock was suddenly engulfed in Eren’s hot mouth. Vaguely, he thought about how straight men shouldn’t know how to do this but that quickly ended as it began as soon as Eren sucked him hungrily, just as he did his mouth when they were kissing, like he wanted to devour him and Levi could not do anything but lie there and take it.

“Eren,” he panted, wanting to tell him to slow down as his body twisted in agonizing pleasure, toes curling into the sheets as his back started to arch upwards from the mattress. Eren didn’t slow, instead, his green eyes quietly watched him as he continued to suck Levi forcefully while holding his hips down. It was apparent that Eren had never done this before and that he was running on pure instinct but his movements were all deliberate, without any hesitation or reluctance of inexperience that he should have but didn’t. The act was so raw and without any craft, no clear goal other than the simple intent to _consume_. That somehow made Levi feel even more aroused, pushing him closer and closer to the edge.

“I’m co—ahhh” Levi tried to warn, tried to push the other away but Eren ignored him, catching Levi’s release in his mouth. Levi’s eyes and brain blacked out for a moment, his body boneless as he lay panting on the bed, trying to get his breath and bearings back. His heart pounded wildly under his chest and he tried to calm it down with deep breaths. When he finally got back his senses, he opened his eyes in time to see Eren discarding his own boxers aside as he wiped the side of his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes never leaving Levi.

“Tell me if I’m hurting you,” he said as he moved to the side table to get something, Levi quietly following him with his eyes while his breath continued to even out. Even in the darkness, Levi could clearly make out Eren’s form, strong and lean as he reached for the small tub of lube which he opened and placed beside Levi. He slicked himself and Levi swallowed as he watched Eren stroke himself several times, eyes partly lidded while watching him. Without breaking their gaze, Eren then proceeded to scoop a generous amount and slowly trace his fingers on Levi’s hole.

“You’ve never done this before,” Levi said, unsure of whether he was asking or saying. He tried to keep his voice steady as he felt Eren’s fingers tracing his pucker, gently dipping the tip inside shallowly in intervals.

“No,” Eren replied as he pushed his finger deeper, watching Levi unabashedly as his body twitched at the sensation. He was like a dangerous animal, playing with his prey as he moved his fingers experimentally, eyes watching out in lustful curiosity for every breath, every twitch Levi’s body made. “But you have.”

Eren’s finger was now knuckle deep in him twisting and turning carefully while his eyes looked on, mesmerized. Levi tried to hold his gaze, tried to keep his hips from moving. More than being subjected to this man’s explorations on his body, he felt too exposed, like those eyes were seeing through his skin.

“I don’t think… I have to be too careful. Should I?”

They stared at each other for a moment before Levi’s eyes rolled into his own head as he felt another finger breach him and Eren proceeded to finger him open more aggressively, deeply, as if searching for something in him. Levi’s cock was slowly coming back to life with Eren’s ministrations, his legs falling open wider unconsciously. Levi bit his lip as Eren continued to open him up, unable to keep his hips from suddenly twitching violently everytime Eren pressed against his sweet spot.

“That’s enough,” he told Eren breathlessly.

Just then, they both heard the loud sounds of fireworks going off and sure enough, the walls of their dark hotel room were suddenly illuminated by the flashing colorful lights from the window. Neither of them commented on it, too engrossed in their own little world for now to care about anything else at the moment.

Eren slid his fingers out of him before moving on top of Levi once again while guiding his own cock against Levi’s entrance. Eren stared at Levi’s face as he slowly entered him, watching every twitch of his face as he moaned, Levi’s eyes fluttering close as he felt Eren slide in him.

“Levi,” Eren called him, gently caressing his face and brushing away a lock. “Look at me.”

Levi’s eyes slowly opened to those stunning green eyes. “Eren.”

“Think only about me,” Eren said, needlessly, as Levi’s mind was already completely taken over by only him. “At this moment, while you’re with me. Think of no one else.”

Levi panted and groaned as Eren started to move. Levi’s hands automatically clutched at the sheets beside him, gripping tightly as he was pummeled deeply in slow thrusts. “Just… you…”

Those words seemed to have ignited an even bigger fire in Eren as he moved faster, covering Levi’s mouth with his own. Eren set a steady pace, carefully holding him as he thrusted into him. Levi was overwhelmed with pleasure that jolted throughout his body with every thrust of Eren. His hands that were gripping the sheets jerked, only to grip Eren’s back. He pulled away from their kiss, head facing the wall to try to catch his breath while Eren continued moving above him. Dazedly, he watched their black shadows move, entwined together against the colorful lights. Two bodies writhed in pleasure as the sky outside continued to blaze with bright sparkling lights of the New Year fireworks. The people below on the streets cheered loudly, blowing horns and whistles in celebration, almost drowning the moans and harsh breaths coming from hot mouths.

\-----------------------------------

“Ah! Ha…ah!”

The side of Levi’s face was buried in the mattress, hands clawing the sheets as his sweaty body writhed in pleasure. From his neck, his spine sloped up in an alluring arch to his buttocks, knees chafing pink against the sheets as he tried to keep his balance while Eren continued to slide in and out of him behind him. His body was hot. He could feel sweat rolling down his back, neck and chest. The hands that gripped his waist burned.

The fucking suddenly stopped. He panted tiredly, closing his eyes for a moment to rest. How many times had it been? A quick glance at the clock on the bedside said it was almost two hours past midnight.

“You’re amazing,” Eren said reverently behind him.

The hands on his waist were suddenly squeezing and then sensually sliding down his sides, up onto his back, shoulders, his arms, until they reached and covered his own hands. Eren’s body, sweaty and even hotter than his own, was suddenly against his back, his hot breath blowing steadily against his cheek.

“Do you want to stop?” Eren asked.

Levi would have snorted if he didn’t feel like his body was about to explode. Eren’s cock was still buried in him, hard and leaking, and the brat had the audacity to ask such a stupid question.

“If you stop, I’ll fucking cut your dick off,” he said.

Eren chuckled lowly before moving, slowly sliding out. Without warning, he hooked his arms under Levi’s armpits to pull themselves up on their knees. Levi whined but his body followed until his back arched backwards, resting against Eren’s front. Eren buried his nose onto the side Levi’s neck, his face.

“Kiss me,” Eren whispered into his ear.

Levi turned his head to face him, pressing his lips against Eren’s. The other nibbled on his lower lip before parting his lips with his tongue. Levi moaned, his right hand coming up to bury his fingers into Eren’s hair as they kissed deeply. His other hand found Eren’s arm on his waist as the other started to thrust into him again.

The city lights from the wide open windows reflected blurrily in Eren’s green eyes. Levi couldn’t focus. From the club to this bed, he only ever wanted to talk but now he couldn’t even remember his questions, not when Eren was holding him desperately like this, like he wanted to reach deep into Levi’s very soul.

His body was exhausted. His legs were barely keeping him up as they shook, harder every time Eren’s cock punched his sweet spot. He tried to hold on. “Eren,” he breathed out against the other’s mouth in warning before he finally collapsed. His body slid down against Eren’s. He lay panting on his back, his head almost hanging at the edge of the bed.

Eren was still looking down at him, quietly considering him. “You can’t take it anymore.”

“How are you still standing?” Levi breathed deeply, neck arching up. He could feel the edge of the mattress at back of his head. He rested an arm on his chest while the other lazily spread out to seek some remaining cold spots on the sheets to cool his heated skin. His legs spread widely to do the same, his arousal clearly exposed without a care. “You’re a fucking maniac. You’re going to fuck me to death.”

Eren moved his eyes from Levi’s face down to the expanse of his body, stopping on his proud erection. “And whose fault is that?” he said pointedly.

Wordlessly, Eren took his place on top of Levi, sliding into him without preamble. Levi’s legs wrapped around Eren’s waist as he began to move once again. Levi closed his eyes, arching his back and concentrating on the feeling of being fucked. He moaned loudly as he felt Eren’s mouth kissing, sucking, licking, biting on his chest. Eren’s thrusts were becoming more frantic now, the force of which finally drove his head off the edge of the bed so that it was hanging, shaking and moving with Eren’s movements. He didn’t care. He was close and he could feel Eren was too.

As they both reached their climax, Levi knew he wouldn’t be able to go for another round. Eren collapsed on top of him, their slick chests pushing against each other as they both breathed harshly. Their breathing soon slowed along with their heart beats, their bodies cooling down. Levi almost didn’t want to get to this part of the night but it was inevitable now that the cloud of lust had been cleared.

“Eren I—th” he began but Eren pressed a finger on his lips again.

Eren moved on top of him, propping himself on his elbows to properly look at Levi. Green eyes focused on the lips he was touching then the cheek he was caressing. “Not yet,” he said softly. “Please.”

Levi’s eyelids were becoming heavy and he succumbed. He could feel Eren snuggling against him, removing most of his weight off of him and hastily covering their bodies with the blanket. He could feel how sweaty and filthy their bodies were but he couldn’t eve muster the energy to complain out loud. Eren’s body was warm against his, almost too warm, but he snuggled against it.

\---------------------------------------------------

When Eren’s eyes opened, his arms automatically searched the space beside him. Finding it empty, he jolted up to sit, finding himself still completely naked on the wrinkled sheets of the hotel bed. He stood to turn the bedside lamp on to find his and Levi’s clothes strewn all around the floor. He sighed in relief at the sight knowing that the other wouldn’t leave without his clothes. The calmness then finally allowed him to hear the soft sound of pouring water from the shower.

It happened. It wasn’t a dream. Levi was really here last night with him in bed. He had searched for him, followed him to the club, a place he had explicitly told Eren he didn’t want to go to. They had kissed, touched… He had fucked Levi, several times.

Eren held his forehead and ran his fingers through his hair. Just like he didn’t want Levi to talk to him, question him, he didn’t want to think about this either. He didn’t want to think about why Levi went with it or how he was feeling now. Did he regret it? He didn’t want to think about the future, what it may and may not hold. All he wanted was to focus on the happiness he was feeling right now, at the memories of the past hours. He was scared of everything but at least he had this now. The memories of the way Levi looked, sounded, and felt and tasted would forever be his whatever happened.

With hands clenched, he walked to the bathroom. The door was left ajar and he gently pushed it open. Through the clear glass divider, he could see Levi facing away from him under the spray of water. He stepped inside, staring at the other’s body, following the rivulets of water running down across Levi’s pale skin. He leaned against the wall, just beside the shower divider.

Apparently feeling his gaze on him, Levi turned around to stare back. Eren found in the past few hours that he didn’t cower under those gray eyes anymore. Instead, he wanted to challenge them so he ignored the stare, settling on letting his eyes roam down Levi’s body. He shivered at the sight of the marks that littered his pale neck, chest, and thighs.

“Admiring your work?” Levi asked as he ran a hand down from the side of his neck down to his arm.

Eren brazenly stepped closer and closer until he too was under the spray. The warm water ran through his scalp and down his face but he never broke eye contact with Levi. “You wear them quite nicely.”

Levi stepped back a little to put some space between them and snorted. “You have been acting so cocky all night, brat,” he told Eren.

Stepping closer to negate what little distance Levi managed to put earlier he asked, “Do I… scare you?”

He did. Levi was standing in front of him with his usual proudness but his eyes looked absolutely terrified. Eren hesitated but he couldn’t help but raise his hand to reach out, slowly, towards Levi and giving him time to retreat. Levi watched him looking guarded but didn’t move. Eren was relieved when he was finally touching the side of Levi’s face without getting a negative reaction at the contact.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he said as he pulled Levi towards him.

“I thought you didn’t want to talk… or to think,” Levi replied distractedly. Eren had pulled him close until their bodies were touching. “We can’t just keep… doing this. Eren—a”

Eren tipped his chin up for a kiss and closed the distance. As the water sprayed down their skin, their bodies entwined with each other in a tight embrace, hands running down on each other. Levi returned Eren’s kisses which had turned slower, lazier than the ones they had last night. He allowed Eren’s tongue in his mouth and slipped his inside Eren’s too, languidly moving together as Eren squeezed his ass. Levi keened and parted his leg so the other could wedge his thigh between them.

“I want… again,” Eren muttered when they parted before kissing his neck.

“Aren’t you getting tired of this?” Levi asked him.

_Never_

Eren could feel Levi’s arousal starting to stir even as he asked the question. “No,” he told him and thrusted his own stiffening cock against Levi’s abs. He stepped forward slowly, driving Levi back until his back was against the wall.

As Eren hoisted him up against the tiles and entered him, Levi’s mind was screaming for him to put a stop on this because this was _Eren_ , the kind-hearted brat who was definitely not gay. Eren was a friend, a brother, and recently a confidant. What were they doing?

After several minutes, Eren carried him out of the shower and over to the bathroom counter beside the sink without pulling out. There they continued, their moans of pleasure echoing around them. Levi tried to wrap his legs around Eren’s waist but their wet bodies made it difficult, making his legs slip down to Eren’s strong thighs.

“Levi, I,” Eren breathed against his cheek before hastily sealing their mouths in a kiss.

Levi didn’t miss Eren’s hesitation, his failed attempt at saying something even as they tried to get lost in pleasure. He wrapped his arms around Eren, squeezed the back of his neck as if to let him know he understood.

When they were finish, they were both in need of another bath.

\----------------------------------------------


	11. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally have the talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! I'm not dead yet. I'm so, so sorry for being AWOL for so long and not replying to comments. As I've said in my last update, I started working again and things happened in my personal life. Writing has always been my escape and my happy place so I didn't really want to write when I feel like anything I will put out is forced. Stress will do that.
> 
> But yeah, I'm back again and ready to pick up where I left off. I hope you read and enjoy it although late. 
> 
> ALSO! Just to remind everyone, I'm NOT a manga reader. Everything I wrote was based on the anime (which I'm all caught up, S4 E8 was a pain) so please refrain from mentioning spoilers. Please! :)

11

The ride back to the campus was awkwardly silent. There was a suggestion of taking the train which was quickly shot down in favor of a cab, both of them only willing to do as little walking as possible. Levi sat quietly, looking outside the window while Eren did the same on the opposite side. The humming of the engine and the mindless pop music playing in the background almost dulled their minds. The streets that were beginning to shine bright with the rising sun looked golden, a beautiful morning if only they were paying attention.

Once the cab stopped in front of the campus, Eren could feel the air between them changing completely. They still walked side by side but the distance between them was more palpable and somehow felt like a wall. The easy companionship they had before was now tensed and fragile despite how close and intimate they were physically just a few hours ago. At the elevator up, they both automatically reached for the button and accidentally touched fingers. Levi immediately pulled his hand back like he was burned while Eren looked away.

“Is it—t” Eren began but abruptly cut himself off, pressing the close button and then their floor.

“What?” Levi asked.

“Nothing.”

“It was clearly not ‘nothing’,” Levi replied.

Eren glared at his shoes but did not say anything more while the other didn’t push. He hadn’t meant for last night to happen. He never even thought that such a thing would be possible, at least not any time soon considering how he hadn’t even planned on telling Levi how he felt because of Levi’s situation with Erwin. Despite that, he found that he was pleased and didn’t have any regrets at all. Seeing Levi in that way, kissing him and touching him in the most intimate way made him feel like they were lovers even if it were just for that night. Spending the New Year’s Eve in the way they had was the best thing that ever happened to him, he firmly decided, despite whatever would come of it.

He had to let Levi know.

“I don—t” Eren tried but the words were escaping him. He looked at Levi through the elevator reflection and he swallowed nervously but he decided to push on. “What we did… What _I_ did specifically, I don’t want you to confuse it with any other thing than what it actually is. What happened between us happened because I _wanted_ it to… because I _like_ you.”

Levi who had been staring back at him through his reflection suddenly looked away. The elevator dinged and then opened to reveal the fourth floor. Levi quickly stepped out of the doors and walked into their room. Eren reluctantly followed, weary of Levi’s reaction. He closed the door behind him and found his roommate leaning against the wall beside the window frame. He was looking outside, biting his lip before sighing deeply as he turned to face Eren.

“You said you like me.”

“Yes,” Eren confirmed.

“But you’re straight,” Levi said, realizing as soon as the words left him that they sounded stupid. Eren was anything but straight last night. Eren snorted, clearly thinking the same thing.

“Did I seem heterosexual to you last night?” Eren asked rhetorically.

“Don’t be smart with me, brat,” Levi muttered. “For months, you’ve pined for Historia—l”

“I _never_ said I liked her that way,” Eren cut in, the way Levi called him ‘brat’ yet again rubbing him the wrong way. “ _You’re_ the only one who kept pushing that idea, saying that I like her when I kept on saying that she isn’t my type!”

Levi glared. “But you said you like someone who is already taken!”

“And that’s _you_!” Eren exclaimed.

Levi stared at him with wide eyes, connecting the dots in his mind and then looked away. Eren allowed him the silence to let the gravity of his confession sink in. Levi may choose to reject him but Eren would make sure that the other knew exactly how Eren felt for him at the very least.

“For how long?” he asked after some time.

“I realized it maybe two months ago?” Eren replied. “At first I was fascinated then I, I don’t know, got to know you better and before I knew it…”

Levi said nothing as Eren drifted off. He was trying to process it, all of their interactions in the past suddenly coming back to him and seeing them in a new light. He wasn’t paying attention but the signs were all there. How could he be so blind?

Eren smiled bitterly at him nonetheless. “I know you’ve never even considered it. You’ve never even seen me as someone whom you can be with romantically, have you? I’m just a brat.”

Levi stared at him, looking like he was going to protest but Eren didn’t give him a chance to speak.

“I’ve known about you and Erwin for quite some time now but that didn’t stop me from developing this… feeling for you,” Eren said. “Even when you told me that you’re not together, I know you still have feelings for him. I didn’t want to add to your troubles. I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“Is that why you were suddenly avoiding me?” Levi asked.

Eren nodded. “It’s torture, being so close to you everyday and having to pretend like I don’t care about you the way that I really do. I have to step back. I’m sorry if I confused you. I wanted to be with you on your birthday but I was too scared that I might not be able to hold back and you’ll see through me.”

“Don’t apologize,” Levi said, shaking his head. “I understand. I was insensitive and did not pay any attention to what you might be feeling. I was going through a hard time and maybe I got too comfortable around you. I shouldn’t have relied on you so much.”

“No, don’t!” Eren protested quickly. “The times that I could be useful to you and when you open up to me, those are the best times. I want them and I’ve never regretted them.”

“Still, I hurt you. I was too occupied with my own problems and I ended up being unfair and selfish,” Levi said, shaking his head. “Believe me Eren, that’s not okay. It’s precisely why I left Erwin. I should have known better.”

“But you didn’t know,” Eren argued, appalled that Levi would put his misstep in line with what the jerk had done to him. “I didn’t even… it took a while for _me_ even, so there was no way _you_ could have known.”

Maybe Eren was right. Maybe he was wrong. There was no way to know but Eren could tell Levi still felt guilty about it even though he stopped talking.

“So yeah, now you know,” Eren finished awkwardly. “And don’t worry, I’m not going to force it. I know you need time to recover from that guy and really, who knows what will happ—e”

“Before you make your own assumptions, let me tell you straight up what I think,” Levi said suddenly because of course, he wasn’t even going to allow Eren to wonder or have that period of delusion wherein he would think that Levi would actually reciprocate. Eren reluctantly nodded feeling anxiety slowly creeping into the pit of his stomach.

“First, and probably the most important because you’ll just keep forgetting it,” Levi began as he took a couple of steps closer to Eren. “You are _not_ just a brat. I call you that out of habit but I do know that you are capable and dependable. You are not a bother, okay? At the very least… I consider you a friend. I trust you and that’s why I’ve come to depend on you sometimes. Maybe too many times.”

At those words, Eren looked up and he could feel a strong urge to punch the air and dance a little. The elation probably showed on his face because Levi was then smirking at him before he spoke again.

“Second, my shit with Erwin and just… my shit in general are all over the place,” he continued. “You’re right, I am still trying to get over eyebrows so I think I want to focus on making my life better at the moment, like doing well in uni and at work.”

Eren nodded, having thought as much on his own. It still stung a little though, actually hearing it from Levi.

“And last, nobody can say that he’s suddenly gay when just a few months ago, he wasn’t” Levi said. Eren’s jaw dropped and was about to argue when Levi held up a hand. “Hear me out, okay? I know you said you have feelings for me and obviously, we did those things and you didn’t go limp,” Levi said, unable to look at Eren while talking about their tryst, “but how sure are you that those are indeed feelings?”

“I know they are!” Eren exclaimed indignantly. “You have to believe me!”

“I am not saying that you are lying, Eren,” Levi returned, the earnest tone calming Eren down a little. “You might be attracted to me, physically, but we cannot discount the fact that you had drinks last night.”

“I wasn’t drunk anymore when I fucked you in the shower,” Eren snapped, feeling frustrated.

“You are not listening,” Levi insisted, trying to keep calm. “Being able to have gay sex is different from saying you have feelings for a man. There’s a difference.”

Eren shook his head in disbelief. “You think I’m confused. _You’re_ the one who isn’t listening.”

“Eren,” Levi said firmly before sighing deeply. Eren had turned away from him to face the window. “I’m not doubting you, okay? I know you believe what you say is true. It’s just… you need time to really see if this thing you have for me is not just some curiosity or fascination because I’m new or physically attractive to you. For some reason.”

Eren ignored him, refused to meet his gaze. Levi sighed again and walked over to where Eren was sitting on his own bed. He sat down beside him and bumped his shoulder with his.

“You _are_ doubting me,” Eren said.

“I’m giving you time to think this through,” Levi returned.

They fell silent. They were both tired and longed to sleep but their minds buzzed with their own thoughts and visions of the situation they were both in. Somewhere deep in his mind, Eren had an inkling that what Levi was saying made sense, he just couldn’t see it right now. All he knew was that he was baring his chest out for Levi to see his heart and the other was just questioning his sincerity and the tenacity of his proudly proclaimed feelings. Which was a roundabout way of declaring him sexually confused.

“I don’t know how to prove to you that I’m really serious,” Eren muttered softly. “How can I show you that this isn’t just some phase I’m going through like some experimentation shit like what you’re implying.”

“There’s nothing wrong with experimentation,” Levi told him, also looking out the window. “ _I_ did it before. Frankly, you shouldn’t trust yourself unless you’ve really gone out there and test your beliefs.”

“Are you asking me to sleep around with other men other than you?”

“I told you, I’m suggesting you take more time to think this through,” Levi said patiently. “This should be new to you, right? That’s all I’m saying. If you want to test the waters out there then that’s up to you, just be safe about it.”

Eren was quiet for a while, looking like he was about to shout more protests but was stopping himself. Levi knew that what Eren was experiencing was not easy, but if Eren really was experiencing a phase, the earnest brat wouldn’t know it himself. He was too honest and kind to purposefully lie about something like this. Levi on the other hand was still too shaken to offer his hand and guide Eren through this journey as his proclaimed object of his affection. He could not deal with that right now even if a part of him somehow wanted to.

“Hey. Telling me that I can go off with other guys and it won’t bother you, it hurts, you know?”

Levi wasn’t able to hold back. His arm automatically reached out to grasp Eren’s shoulder.

“Are you really okay with that?” Eren asked.

“I can’t ask you to commit to me when you think I’m still doubting your feelings and not ready for another relationship,” Levi said. “That will be selfish… for the both of us.”

They both know that Levi was avoiding giving a direct answer to the question Eren was clearly asking though. Levi could not and would not say it out loud but if he were to see Eren with someone else, guy or girl, he would not be ‘okay’ with it. But he would try his darn best to appear as if he was.

Slowly, Eren turned to look at Levi, eyes in that determined way that Levi was getting to see more and more. “And if I did. And then after that, I still like you, _only_ you. Would you finally believe me?”

Levi tried to return his gaze but the fire in Eren’s eyes were too bright that it almost scared him. He looked away, settling for staring at his own lap. “I don’t know,” he admitted.

Suddenly, Eren let out a long and loud growl-like sound before falling onto his back beside Levi, arms wide open. Levi stared at him in slight alarm but Eren was smiling, albeit sadly, at the ceiling. “This _sucks_ ,” he said simply.

Eren could feel Levi’s stare at him so he elaborated. “Basically, you still don’t believe me. That sucks so freaking bad right now that I can’t even describe it… and I really feel like you’re being unfair but at the same time, I know you’re right. Somehow. And I can’t force it anyway. I won’t, because at the end of the day, what you want is important to me. Knowing that you trust me fully is my priority.”

Levi froze. This guy really shouldn’t throw words as easily as that.

“I can wait,” Eren continued resolutely before directing his gaze to Levi, a smirk spreading on his face. “If time is what you need for me to prove myself then okay, I’ll wait. I’ll ‘think it through’ like you told me to do. But don’t think that anything will change because I’ll just work harder so you can believe me. So watch out, Levi. If you’re not convinced now, then I’ll just have to make you fall for me faster.”

Despite saying what he did, Levi looked at Eren with awe. Eren had said it so confidently, so stupidly and yet it also felt like a serious challenge directed at him, one that he didn’t know if he wanted to lose or win. He felt a light laugh bubble up from his chest and when he let it out, Eren’s smile widened.

“That doesn’t sound romantic at all,” he told Eren.

Eren gently reached for his hand and Levi ignored the way his heart seemed to skip a beat. “I’m serious.”

Levi stilled, feeling the other’s warm hand on his. Eren was looking at him unflinchingly, green eyes intense and determined like when they stared him down during Eren’s art class.

“I want you,” Eren went on. “If you’ll have me and you feel ready, _please_ , give me a chance.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

January saw the return of all the students, injecting the noise and energy that the campus lacked over the break. Several people came back with tans and winter windburns. Others gained a few pounds. All of them were all looking recharged and happy overall but sad that the holidays were over.

Armin gave Eren some souvenirs from his unexpected trip to Paris with this family. Apparently, his grandfather and cousins kept it a secret to surprise him and he really enjoyed it. Eren thanked him and listened to his stories about their tour while having lunch with him at the cafeteria. Armin excitedly pulled up pictures after pictures on his phone to show the sights and sceneries.

“So, how was your holiday?” Armin asked casually as he poked his salad and taking a bite of his greens.

Eren knew his friend was dying to know what happened between him and Levi over the break but was trying to not make a big deal out of it so he won’t feel uncomfortable. “We had sex.”

Armin’s lettuce flew out of his mouth and landed onto Eren’s plate of lasagna. “What?!”

“Oh hi, Eren!” Historia greeted walking over to them. They were both so engrossed in their conversation, Eren a little aghast at the green leaf on top of his cheese, that they didn’t notice her passing by. “Hi, Armin!”

Eren and Armin stared at each other while her gaze bounded back and forth between them. “Sorry, I was just saying hi,” she said with a nervous laugh.

Eren sighed. He thought about it but telling her now would save him a lot of time. “Historia, are you busy?”

“Eren?” Armin asked pointedly while she waited, looking confused.

“She knows about Levi,” Eren explained.

Historia pulled a chair beside Armin, quietly catching on. “I’m assuming there are developments?”

“Did you tell her before me?” Armin asked.

“I figured it out,” she said. “I’m surprised Levi hasn’t caught on actually.”

“Well, things have changed,” Eren said and both of them turned their full attention to him.

“Oh shit, you told him? That’s why you had sex!” Armin said.

“You had sex?!” Historia asked, looking shocked.

“Guys, Let me talk,” Eren told them.

He started by telling them about his thinking about staying over for the break since he found out that Levi would and then actually doing it. Historia and Armin gave no more interruptions as Eren shared everything that happened during the break up to the conversation he had with Levi. Armin and Historia were very surprised, verging on scandalized by the fact that he and Levi had slept together but towards the end of the story, they were silent and contemplative.

“Wow,” Armin said.

“Wow?” Eren asked.

“That’s so… I don’t know how to say it,” Armin said, thinking. “It’s just that I’ve never seen you act so mature. Except the spontaneous gay sex… that was a bit rash.”

“Should I be pleased? That feels like a backhanded compliment,” Eren said.

“I haven’t known you for as long but I think Armin is just pointing out that you are being such a nice guy,” Historia said. “I mean, I know Levi. He’s a good guy and he would never hurt anyone intentionally but he’s confused and he still might end up hurting you and you’re saying you’re sticking around and try to make him fall for you.”

“That’s so cocky, Eren!” Armin commented in an impressed tone.

“Is that so bad?” Eren asked, blushing a little. “And call it what you want, being a good guy or whatnot, it’s what _I_ want too. As much as I want to be there for him, I’m doing this for myself too.”

Historia hummed and then slowly nodded. “That’s true. Nobody is just there for someone just to be there, especially if you like that person.”

“And Levi knows this? He knows you’re working towards that goal?” Armin asked.

“I told him so. I said I’ll wait for him and when he’s ready,” Eren drifted off.

There was silence and after some time, Armin said, “I guess the ball is on Levi’s court now.”

That was exactly what Eren was thinking. There was a relief in knowing that he had laid out all his cards and had nothing more to hide. He had explained his feelings and thoughts well. He did everything he could.

“You think… Eren has a chance?” Armin asked, looking at Historia. Eren turned to her too.

“Erwin knew him longer than me,” she said. “I don’t want to dishearten you, Eren, but it’s hard for someone to get over a love that had so much history. Obviously, Levi is at least attracted to you since he slept with you but…”

Armin was staring at him worriedly. “I know that,” Eren said. “I don’t have any delusions that he’ll just magically forget about Erwin and come running to my arms.”

“But Eren,” Armin spoke again, “you said you’d give him time but what if it took years? What if took too long?”

“It’s going to be a test for them both,” Historia said. “For Levi to see if he’s really able to move forward and for Eren to see how dedicated he really is.”

Eren said nothing. Both of them voiced out the concerns he had been thinking about since his talk with Levi and he was sure that Levi was thinking about those too, especially the test about Eren’s resolve. He wanted to see how long Eren would last.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Zoe Café was buzzing with morning coffee drinkers and breakfasters. Levi manned the barista station with Mike, the two of them alternating taking orders and then making drinks. Hange was cooped up in the backroom with the suppliers, counting crates and sacks of raw materials. They had wanted to ask Levi how his birthday went but the café turned out to be busy all morning. After lunch though, things finally slowed down and Hange was able to corner Levi in the staffroom, removing his apron and getting ready to clock out of his half-day shift.

“Heeeeeyyy!” they greeted as they walked in.

Levi flinched, stuffing his apron in his locker hastily and then sighing as he turned to see them.

“How rude! You look like you’re trying to avoid me,” Hange accused. They then pouted when he didn’t even respond, looking guilty instead of pissed which was off, if they really knew how Levi was. “Did something happen?”

Levi looked torn, like he really didn’t want to talk about it but was also about to blow up if he didn’t say anything to anyone in the next second. He sighed, leaning his back against the door of his locker and crossing his arms in front of his chest. He looked at Hange tiredly and that’s all Hange needed know.

“Why don’t we have lunch?” they asked. “Up in my room.”

Levi didn’t even complain, just nodding without a word and that worried Hange even more than if he were to curse them for being nosy. So Hange led him up to the living area above the café where they stayed. They pulled out some leftovers from the fridge and popped them in the microwave. Levi sat down in front of the dining table quietly, watching them take care of the food.

“Did Erwin call you?” they asked as they placed the reheated pad thai in front of them.

“He just messaged several times. I haven’t even read them,” Levi said, poking the noodles with his fork. “I haven’t even seen him since before the break.”

Hange nodded. “How are you holding up?”

“I honestly don’t know,” he said. “I can’t say that it’s easy or that I’m completely okay, but this had been something that’s been brewing for months. Me and Erwin splitting up was inevitable and I guess realizing that before it actually happened helped me prepare for it at least a little.”

“You can’t really prepare for something like that,” they said.

“Fuck no, of course you can’t,” he said. “But that’s… not really what I want to talk about.”

Hange paused. “Okay. What is it then?”

“Eren confessed to me. He said he likes me,” he said with another sigh.

“Eren? Your roommate?” they asked. “I mean, it was obvious that he is really fond of you. He follows you around like a loyal puppy so maybe there’s really no surprises there but I thought it was more of a crush than anything. Isn’t he straight?”

Levi made a face like someone just kicked him in the groin. “He might have slept with me.”

“Might have?!”

“Okay, we slept together.”

“Levi!” Hange exclaimed. “But… when did this happen?”

“He stayed in the dorms for the break too.”

Hange’s eyes were as big as saucers. “I told him to take care of you but I didn’t quite mean that way.”

“Hange”

“How did it happen? Did he come on to you?” they asked. 

“He was avoiding me after the day of my birthday and I was worried because I thought he was in some sort of trouble,” he explained. “Long story short, I tracked him down to a club downtown that was having a new year’s countdown party and it was near the hotel he had booked for the night. He didn’t want to stay in dorms with me. We had some drinks and shit just… hit the fan. I fucking screwed up.”

Levi buried his eyes in his palms, completely abandoning the food. Hange squeezed his shoulder.

“And you know what the most fucked up thing about it was? The whole time I was with Eren, I didn’t even think about Erwin. Not once! You know how insane that is?” Levi ranted on while Hange listened, her reactions held back for once. “I don’t know what’s happening! I’m still not over Erwin, of course, but I’ve fucked Eren over the break. Am I that desperate? Am I easy? Maybe I’m a fucking pig who uses others and take advantage of their feelings for me which, by the way, I’m not even sure Eren really likes me. He could very well be confused and I made a mess of the situation instead of being the mature, experienced gay. I’m despicable.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Hange said firmly. “The fact that you’re thinking that way and looking like your guilt will literally eat you whole prove otherwise. You can’t be expected to do things pristinely all the time. Relationships are messy. You’re human and you’re allowed to make mistakes and get confused and be selfish too.”

“I don’t know,” Levi muttered. “I kind of feel like I’m betraying Erwin which is ridiculous because we’re not together anymore. And Eren is such a good person. He could have anyone. I don’t deserve him.”

It was Hange’s turn to sigh deeply. “Dammit Levi! Stop thinking that you’re not good enough for anyone. Eren chose you, didn’t he? If he properly confessed to you then don’t brush off his feelings lightly. To undermine Eren’s efforts is an insult to him.”

“I cannot dignify his efforts by allowing him to potentially make choices he’ll regret.”

Hange snorted. “Eren is allowed to make his own choices no matter how idiotic you think those choices are.”

Levi was at a loss. He glared at his hands, silently agreeing but not wanting to admit it. “I can’t think clearly right now,” he said. “I don’t know what I feel anymore.”

“Do you like Eren?”

Levi bit his lip. “I don’t… find him unattractive,” he admitted grudgingly and Hange smiled widely.

“You’re making things more complicated than they are,” Hange told him. “You got hurt. You’re trying to recover from that. This new person came along and you may like him, now or in the future. Which is great because he told you he likes you too. I am a genius but it doesn’t take my IQ to see where this is going.”

“It’s not as simple as that.”

“You are overwhelmed,” Hange pointed out. “Many things happened and you’re exhausted. But you know what? You don’t have to do a thing. Eren can wait, if he’s really serious. You need time to get over Erwin. Erwin is, well, he’ll just be around. What you should do is stop thinking about such troubling thoughts and instead focus on being productive. And please, stop blaming yourself for everything. Everything will fall into place, you’ll see.”

Levi stared down at his fork. “What do _you_ feel about it? Erwin is your friend too.”

Hange laughed lightly. “You know I hate him for not having the balls to stand up for you,” they said. “Of course I’d wanted for you guys to make up but I don’t think that’s going to make any of you happy. I honestly just want for both of you to find peace even if it means parting ways.”

He nodded. “I, too, hope that he finds happiness,” he said, “even though he’s a selfish ass.”

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**Author's Note:**

> Though this is a product of boredom, I would still want to know if you would like to see the rest of this. Please like and/or comment! Or just tell me about your day. It will make mine. :)


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